I've Got a Secret...

Actually, I have about a million secrets.

What girl doesn't, really?

For this weekend, you get a free pass to spill your guts. Anonymous commenting is back on. So click that Anonymous box. (It really does work!) I'm disabling everything that tracks where you came from. So, unless you accidentally forget to click Anonymous, no one is going to know who or where you are. And none of us are going to try to guess either, right? One suggestion for making absolutely sure that your comment is anonymous and that you don't accidentally include your name and url? Log out of Blogger/Wordpress/Google or whatever other program that brought you here. If you log out first, you'll be forced to select an option before posting your comment. And then you'll remember to stay anonymous. Easy peasy.

Here are a few ground rules before we get started:

1.  Please do not confess to a felony unless it's a really funny story and/or the statute of limitations has passed. I don't want to have to deal with any government agencies trying to subpoena records that I've disabled. It's just going to be a headache for me.

2.  You may comment on someone else's confession, but you may NOT be mean about it. If you want to reassure someone that their horrifying secret really is no big deal or you've got the same secret, that's great. Wonderful. Awesome, even. But please don't say that someone's secret is stupid or try to make them feel bad about it. We're being open and friendly here, people. Let's play nice.

3.  Please try to refrain from excessive vulgarity and profanity. (I know some of you will be very disappointed by this rule, but my parents apparently read my blog.)

Failure to comply with these rules (and any others that are currently unforeseen but might become necessary as the weekend progresses) may result in my deleting the comment. Since I won't know who you are, there won't be any other penalties. But I've got birthday parties and a date with the beach this holiday weekend. I don't have time to delete stuff. So please don't make me.

And now, let the secret spilling begin!

Face it Friday! Week 36

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I crossed out a couple of my goals this week.

When it came down to it, there were just a few things that are not going to be possible this year.

The Grand Canyon? Not gonna happen.

Ten Angel games? Well, let's just say that I've had more pressing financial necessities and Angels games haven't been  my priority. It's not like the team's been showing up to play anyway.

And as for querying agents...I have to finish the darned book first and there's no way I'll have it ready enough for querying before the end of December. Unless, of course, I want to experience the thrill of universal rejection.

So I crossed a few things off the list. And you know what? It actually felt pretty good.

Because I'm not quitting. This is completely different from quitting. And I'm still determined to finish as much as I can. There are still PLENTY of goals left on my list. I've already succeeded by making it this far. And now, with just 16 weeks to go,  and my list newly (though slightly) thinned, I feel freshly motivated to keep going and to finish strong.

Sixteen weeks, folks. We can do this.

How are YOUR goals going? Link up and tell us all about it!

And don't forget to check up on Jennee's progress while you're at it!

A Programming Note

Did I ever tell you how I discovered the awesomeness that is Kristina Pulsipher?

It was during this crazy weekend early in 2009 when she turned her blog into an open forum for all manner of insanity and confessions and general mayhem.

That was when I learned of our mutual love for Post Secret and being awesome and I've been stalking her ever since.

Anyway, the whole point of all of that is to tell you that I am ripping off Kristina's idea following in Kristina's footsteps and opening my blog up this weekend for some craziness.

What do I mean?

It's very simple. This weekend, I am re-enabling anonymous comments, disabling my stats counters and everything that could give away your identity and inviting you to confess your heart out right here on my blog.

Want a second baby but you're afraid to tell your husband? Did you find your boss in a compromising situation? Have you never read a Harry Potter book?

Well, this weekend is your chance to get those secrets off your chest without incriminating yourself!

It's easy, it's fun and it's therapeutic.

So spread the word, and come by this Saturday through Monday to confess to your heart's delight. Who knows? I might even post a secret or two...

Confession Wednesday: Epic Trips and Falls

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The other day, I was sitting at my new desk in the new center in the new building at work. From this vantage point, I have an excellent view of the last few steps of the staircase that leads down to our level. My coworker trips and, in a completely unfunny accident, sprained her ankle. She's fine. But it was not a pleasant day for any of us when she had to make a trip to the workman's comp clinic.

However, a day or two later, I was sitting at my desk blogging working hard. I heard someone stomping down the stairs. Suddenly, a flash of bright pink shirt whisked past my door and I knew instantly. Someone had tripped down the stairs and collapsed into a heap in the hallway. It was one of our tutors, who immediately jumped up, dusted himself off and walked through the door. I tried. I tried so hard. But I just couldn't contain the laughter. Which was okay, because neither could he.

While he went back into the hallway to pick up his pride, I started thinking about some of my more memorable trips and falls. There are a lot of them.

This is one of my favorites:

The lecture hall was two-thirds full on the morning of the Meteorology exam. I took my usual seat in the second to last row, way up high where I could pretend to care about high pressure systems and tornado warnings and all sorts of weather-related information that I actually wish I understood now.

The instructor passed out the exams.

My Utah residency had not yet been approved and I hadn't been able to find a job, so I found myself very short on funds that semester. One of the luxuries I'd had to do without was a textbook for this particular class.

(I still managed to get a C anyway. Because I'm awesome.)

Because I was unburdened by a textbook, studying for this test was quick and easy. I flipped through some class notes and called it good. So I was thoroughly prepared for the exam and finished before anyone else.

(I did NOT get the lowest score on that test, I'll have you know.)

I finished the last question on the exam, turned the pages back over and walked down the stairs to hand it in at the front of the lecture hall.

I was almost to the bottom of the stairs. Almost ready to hand in the exam and get the heck out of there. And that's when the sole of my shoe caught on something. I tried to recover, but it was too late. I rolled right down the last three steps, in front of 70 students and the professor whose radar I'd spent weeks avoiding.

Throwing the test on the desk, I dashed (carefully) back up the stairs, grabbed my backpack and made it out the back door before acknowledging that both my elbow AND my ankle REALLY hurt.

But not as much as my pride when I had to return to that class two days later.

I KNOW you've got an awesome/embarrassing/hilarious tale of tripping and falling. Please share!

Fading

Over the weekend, I was talking to someone about my recent trip to South America.

As I spoke briefly about the adventure that was only a month ago, I realized that it felt, in some ways, as though it were all a dream. The edges of my memory have blurred just a bit. The sound of certain voices have vanished from my mind as though they were never there to start with.

I know it all happened. Some parts of it remain vivid. I can still feel the sting in my arms as I hoisted more and more rocks. The involuntary grimace as I swung another bucket uphill to weary but waiting hands. The bone chilling cold that could only be cured by sitting in a hotel room with the heat cranked to 30 C.

(That's about 88 F if you aren't into quick conversions.)

(And I totally just did that conversion in my head. Because I'm awesome. And humble.)

It's kind of funny how it happens so easily. Without even noticing it.

You're in the middle of an experience you think will never end. Or you wish would never end.

One you know you'll never forget.

But then, it does end and life goes back to normal, or, at least, moves on. And, little by little, you forget.

I know I went to Paraguay. I remember the smell. I remember the exhaustion. I remember the friendships and the people and a desperate wish to communicate in their language.

But the memories are fuzzy. Just a little.

As though it were all a dream.

I worry that I might forget the experiences and the lessons and why I even journeyed to the middle of nowhere in the first place. I am looking for a way to remember.

And I'm open to suggestions.

It's only been a month, and right now, it feels like it's been years.

Tomorrow's Confession Wednesday Topic:

Epic Trips and Falls

Emmy Awards Play-By-Play

They're here! The Emmy Awards are here! I know you can't all find the interest time to watch, so I'm back with my Emmy Award play-by-play so that you can read all about the exciting things that you didn't missed.

And now, it's on with the show!

5:00   Jimmy Fallon in a video, pulls up in a Smart Car, greets the Glee cast.

5:02   Glee cast says they aren't going because the tickets are, like, $300. Oops, $1200.

5:03   Behold! A Regional final with a grand prize of $1205. Tina Fey's going to join the Glee Club.

5:04   Kate Gosselin wants to be in the Glee Club but, oops! Too many people. So they grab Jon Hamm instead. But he's dancing with his coach, Betty White. And they're not doing the Tango...

5:05   Jane Lynch throws a Slurpee on Jimmy...and on Tina. She wants to be in the Glee Club too.

5:06   And now they're dancing to Born to Run.   Hey! That's Jorge Garcia! And Joel McHale!

5:06   I love Jorge Garcia. Someone get him a new TV show. Stat!

5:06   Tim Gunn fixes up Jimmy's outfit. "Make it work!"

5:07   And now he's on stage with his guitar. Have I ever mentioned that I love Jimmy Fallon? Duet with Randy Jackson!

5:08   I'm pretty sure he was trying to match wits with Neil Patrick Harris. Which, of course, he didn't quite make it. But still awesome. Wait! How did he end up in a tuxedo??

(Had to back it up because I was confused. Someone ran out and threw a tuxedo shirt and jacket on him. Still rocking the jeans, though.)

5:09   And now it's Jimmy and his guitar. I really love when he plays the guitar. It almost always means hilarity. Like this joke about Conan and doing shows on NBC.

5:10   Comedy montage: 30 Rock, The Office, Modern Family, Glee, Community, Monk, Parks and Recreation, Nurse Jackie, New Adventures of Old Christine, How I Met Your Mother, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Big Bang Theory.

5:12   First award, presenters: Jon Hamm and Betty White. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy.

5:13   And the award goes to: Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family. I think he's gonna cry. First nomination and first win. He didn't cry, but his mom sure did.

5:18   Color Commenter introduces himself. I missed his name but it's the PC dude. He's funny.

5:19   Jimmy shares some of the Tweets for introducing presenters.

5:19   Jim Parsons and Sophia whatsherface from Modern Family. Jim Parsons is looking a little too skinny. What's up with him?

5:21   Comedy Series Writing win goes to Steve Levitan and Christopher Lloyd. Steve is accepting the award. I think it's going to be a big night for Modern Family..."A big thanks to our wives without whom we'd...probably be dating around a lot. I mean, we just won an Emmy. That's a pretty good opening line."

5:23   Steven Colbert is here to present Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series.

5:24   PleasebeJaneLynch, pleasebeJaneLynch, pleasebeJaneLynch. JANE LYNCH FROM GLEE!

5:28   Jimmy just did this crazy word association thing to introduce Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry. Their joke isn't really working. Oh, good, Matthew knows it, too.

5:29   Guest Actress in a Comedy Series...Could Jane Lynch get a second Emmy? I'm thinking it's Betty White for SNL. Oh, they're introducing Guest Actor in a Comedy, too.

5:30   Betty White, SNL and Neil Patrick Harris for Glee! They must have already received them since they aren't going on stage.

5:31   And Matthew and Lauren are also introducing Outstanding Director in a Comedy. Ryan Murphy for Glee. He didn't already get his award. He's going to the stage.

5:32   Ryan Murphy dedicates his award to all his art teachers.

5:33   Funny Modern Family video. Actually, it's a pretty hilarious Modern Family video about how to ramp up the funny. I'm going to have to find this. I love when George Clooney randomly shows up in guest spots.

5:36   Eva Longoria-Parker and LL Cool J are presenting Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. I'd love to see Jim Parsons win for The Big Bang Theory, but I just don't know...Actually, he deserves it most.

5:37   JIM PARSONS WINS!!! I am SO shocked and happy for him!!!

5:38   He still looks too skinny and way too made up. What's up with his eyebrows?
(I have to pause this to go tell my roommate he won. She's gonna be psyched!)

5:40   Aaaand, we're back. Neil Patrick Harris. I heart him.

5:41   Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series...Anyone but Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She bugs the crap outta me.

5:42   Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie. I've never seen  single episode. Should I check it out? I had no idea that was supposed to be a comedy.

5:43   Jimmy is back with his guitar. And some girl I don't recognize even though I probably should.

5:44   Reality Series montage. Mythbusters, Wipeout, Biggest Loser, America's Got Talent, Hell's Kitchen, that Jerry Seinfeld Marriage Show, The Bachelor, Kardashians, Celebrity Rehab, Deadliest Catch, Dancing with the Stars, Jersey Shore, Amazing Race, Top Chef, American Idol...gosh there are a LOT of reality shows...

5:49   Will Arnett and Keri Russell to present Outstanding Reality Competition Program. What are the odds that Amazing Race is going to win AGAIN?

5:52   Wow! Top Chef. Hahaha! Someone totally just tripped! I really like Top Chef. Why don't I watch it anymore? Oh, yeah, because there's too much freakin stuff on TV these days.

5:56   Introducing the accountants from Ernst and Young, who count the ballots.

5:57   Jimmy Fallon back to sing and play slap Julianna Margulies. Time for a Drama montage.  24, Burn Notice, Grey's Anatomy, CSI: Universe, Dexter!, Law and Order, Criminal Minds, Mad Men (the cheers make me think that might win again), House, Friday Night Lights, The Good Wife, True Blood, NCIS, Damages, Breaking Bad, LOST! (Okay, I'm a dork and the five seconds of LOST they just showed made me tear up. I need help.)

6:00   Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Maloney from Law & Order SVU present the award for Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series.

6:02   Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy for Mad Men. I've never watched the show, but I really think Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof got SO ROBBED.

6:04   Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama, still Mariska and Christopher presenting...If it's not Terry O'Quinn or Michael Emerson, I'm gonna be ticked. It's probably not gonna be...

6:05   Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad. Did the voters even SEE the last season of LOST??

6:10   Jimmy's reading more Tweets. Yay! Emily Deschanel and Nathan Fillion! Presenting Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series. Am I the only one that thinks it's the same nominees as last year? Hello? What about some love for V? Or Fringe?

6:11   Archie Panjabi from The Good Wife. Okay, so she wasn't nominated last year, but still.

6:12   Edie Falco is back to present Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. I can't tell you how bad I want Matthew Fox to win. It's not gonna be him, but it SHOULD be. It's gonna be Bryan Cranston. I really need to get Breaking Bad from Netflix...

6:13   Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad. Didn't see that one coming...

6:14   Makes a very accurate statement about how each of his fellow nominees was totally robbed. Matthew Fox never got any love for LOST and he was pretty darn awesome. Maybe his next show...

6:19   Okay, it's commercials now and they're showing a commercial for Undercovers, the new show starting this fall. Who is that guy? He's hot!

6:19   Oh, that couple from Undercovers is presenting Outstanding Guest Actress and Guest Actor in a Drama.

6:20   I'm guessing John Lithgow...I was right! And Ann Margaret, but I missed what she was in.

6:21   Ann Margaret and John Lithgow present the award for Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series. Please let Jack Bender win! (No, I know it's not gonna happen. LOST is 0 for 4 so far. I think it's going to stay that way.)

6:22   Winner is Steve Shill for Dexter. I love Dexter a lot, but really? LOST is now 0 for 5? Come on. Yes, the end was controversial, but that doesn't change the fact that it was really well-written and REALLY well acted this year.

6:23   Jimmy is dressed up as Elton John, at a pink piano, singing a farewell to 24, Law & Order, and LOST, which all ended their runs this year. 24 is to the tune of "Good Bye, Norma Jean." Oh, now he's dressed up like...uh...Boyz 2 Men?  and singing to the tune of  some song I don't recognize for Law & Order.  And now LOST. He's playing his guitar, dressed like Billy Joe Armstrong and singing to "Time of Your Life."

6:30   Is this show really only half over? It feels like almost all the awards I care about have already been announced. Weird.

6:31   Matthew Morrison and Tina Fey to present Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. I think this year it's going to either January Jones or Juliana Margulies.

6:32   I am SO happy to be wrong!! Go Kyra Sedgwick! The Closer is my favorite summertime show! She's just delightful. Her husband seriously needs to do a guest spot. I'd love to see her interrogate him.

6:34   Jimmy and his guitar are back with Stephen Colbert.

6:35   Montage of Variety shows. SNL with Betty White, Late Night with David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, The Daily Show, Jay Leno, the Tonys, the Grammys, Wanda Sykes, Stephen Colbert, Academy Awards, the Olympics, Hope for Haiti, Christmas at Rockefeller Center, New Year's Rockin Eve.

6:37   Joel McHale and Jeff Probst are presenting Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Comedy or Music Show.

6:39   The Emmy goes to the 63rd Annual Tony Awards. It's kind of fun that those are televised now. I'd probably care more if I lived in New York and could actually SEE some of the shows and the nominees. I saw one Broadway play. It wasn't even a musical, but it was pretty awesome. Mostly because Patrick Wilson was in it.

6:41   These Community commercials are cracking me up! I can't wait for the new season to start!

6:45   Ricky Gervais. I don't know. He's funny, but I don't find him as hilarious as most people do. He's making jokes about the alcohol at the Golden Globes, and how there's no drinking at the Emmys. I'm pretty sure he's drunk. At least a little.

6:47   He really needs to shut up now.  Okay, the Jewish joke was funny. And now he's passing out beers.

6:48   Oh, he's here to present an award. I was starting to wonder. Outstanding Director in a Variety, Comedy or Music Show.

6:49   Bucky Gunts for directing the broadcast of the Olympics Opening Ceremony.

6:51   Ricky Gervais needs to GET OFF THE STAGE. Now he's presenting Outstanding Variety, Comedy or Music Show. I would really love it if Betty White's SNL or Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show win. Just because.

6:53   The Daily Show? What? I mean, it's funny, but hello! Betty White's SNL episode was freakin genius. And what better way to stick it to NBC than to give Conan the Emmy?

6:59   Bob Hope Humanitarian Award this year goes to George Clooney.  I think it's kind of sweet that he's being presented by Juliana Margulies.  I don't agree with George's politics most of the time, but I sure do like him.

7:01   Standing ovation. He's so pretty in a tux. Nice speech. I'm waiting for him to blame Bush for something, but nope. Way to keep it classy, Clooney!

7:04   Miniseries and Movie montage: The Special Relationship, Endgame, Temple Grandin, Moonshot, You Don't Know Jack, Georgia O'Keefe, The Pacific, Return to Cranford. When the heck were these movies on? Some of them look really good.

7:06   January Jones and John Krazinski present Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie.

7:07   Julia Ormand for Temple Grandin. I bet anything Claire Danes is going to win for Best Actress. I like Julia Ormand and her really rambly acceptance speech. This is why actors rely on writers...

7:09   She just said some weird thing about mothering and guts and balls. I'm confused.

7:12   Ooh, another Community commercial. Now I want ice cream...

7:14   Claire Danes (who's going to win an Emmy in a few minutes, probably) is presenting Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. My guess? David Straithairn.

7:15   Right again! But I only guessed cuz he's in Temple Gardin, which is pretty much winning everything. Maybe I should check Netflix for that one.

7:16   Huh. Temple Grandin is a real person and she's here tonight. She seems so sweet. Apparently she has autism? I guess that's what the movie's about.

7:17   And with no introduction, it's Jewel. Singing a song she wrote for a friend with cancer. Oh, it's the In Memoriam part.

7:18  Every year I recognize more names. This year, I know almost all of them. Am I getting old? Or just more familiar?

7:21   Jewel's song is beautiful and heartbreaking.

7:22   It's a commercial break, so I'm looking up Temple Grandin on Netflix. It's about a woman with autism who has dedicated herself to education and the study of animal behavior. Quite frankly, it sounds a little boring. But what the heck? I'll add it to my queue and give it a shot.

7:25   Jimmy thanks Jewel for her performance of "Shape of You." Did I hear that title right? If not, someone please correct me.

7:25   Maura Tierney and Blaire Underwood to present Outstanding Writer for a Miniseries or TV Movie.

7:26   Adam Mazer for You Don't Know Jack. That's a surprise. Jack Kevorkian over Temple Grandin?

7:27   Favorite quote so far: "Jack Kevorkian, I'm grateful you're my friend. I'm even more grateful you're not my physician."

7:27   Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie. Claire Danes, anyone?

7:28   Claire Danes! I think I like her dress. And a very nice speech.

7:34   Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgard and that other guy. Outstanding Director for a Miniseries or Movie. Uh, is there any point in going through the nominees, really?

7:35   Mick Jackson, Temple Grandin.

7:36   Nice speech, pretty much all directed at Temple Grandin.

7:38   Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack. He really should stick to TV movies because that's where he actually has decent roles and performances. Unlike his more recent movies. Seriously.

7:39   He's so awkward without a script. Even moreso than Julia Ormand.

7:40   Yeah, he's still talking. And it's still awkward.

7:41   They just pointed out Jack Kevorkian. He looks like a corpse.

7:42   Commercial time. I kind of want to watch The Event, but I don't know. Is this going to be just another awesome show that sucks me in and gets cancelled right away? Maybe I'll wait and see before I let myself get hooked. I can't take another Firefly/Pushing Daisies/Jericho/FlashForward disappointment.

7:46   Laurence Fishburne to present Outstanding Miniseries. Only two nominees? Winner, The Pacific.

7:47   Accepting the award: Tom Hanks.

7:47   Outstanding Made for Television Movie (am I the only one that thinks that wording is weird? How about "Outstanding Movie Made for Television?")

7:48   Winner is Temple Grandin. What a shock! But not near as shocking as this woman's boobs. She needs to cover those things up! Aw, Temple Grandin is on the stage with them. It's her birthday, how cute.

7:50   Tom Selleck gets to present Outstanding Drama Series. Congrats to LOST, which is about to go 0 for 7 tonight.

7:51   Mad Men. I have zero interest in this show. I really don't think I'd like it. Dexter? Awesome. Breaking Bad? Probably gonna love it. Mad Men? No thanks.

7:56   Ted Danson gets to present the final award for the night: Outstanding Comedy Series. Please NOT 30 Rock again. It's funny and all, but come on.

7:57   Modern Family! I'm actually kind of shocked it's not Glee, but glad to see something that's also deserving!

7:59   And the show's over. I thought there were a couple of kind of surprises, but, as usual, nothing shocking. I'm glad Modern Family got some recognition. I don't watch it regularly, but it's one of the few shows that actually makes me laugh out loud when I'm all by myself. I should watch it more often.  I'm still not convinced about Mad Men, though...

So, what did you all think? Any surprises? Any winners you were particularly thrilled about? And, more importantly, who do YOU think got robbed?

Karen's Blog of the Week: How Could You Not?!

If you don't know The Boob Nazi, you are missing out. Her blog, How Could You Not?! is funny. Like, really, REALLY funny. She tells stories about all the things that happen to her on an almost daily basis and I have to admit that it's a little refreshing to know that kind of stuff happens to other people, too.

Recently relocated from Utah to Washington, her recent posts have been largely been focused on the adventures of moving and the joys of having a townhouse ALL to herself! But she also posts old notes from Facebook that are priceless, and makes sure that no one has any illusions about her personality by mistaking her for someone that's nice. You really should check out her blog because it's pretty awesome.

And speaking of the Boob Nazi, she wrote this post about her recent trip to Forks, Washington.  She says that Forks is lame and La Push is awesome which, to me, is just further proof that Bella really should have picked Jacob...

Gina from Namaste By Day posted these gorgeous pictures with her brand new son. Congratulations, Gina! He's beautiful!

Author Jody Hedlund (whose first novel, The Preacher's Bride is due to hit bookstores in just a few weeks!) wrote this great post for writers about the benefits of working in small steps while keeping the big picture in mind.

Dorkys Ramos from Dry As Toast wrote this great DIY Tutorial for making an Origami Paper Sack Holder. Super cute idea!

My long-lost globe-trotting blog friend Typ0 from Wandering the World wrote this post about how she misses playing real-life Frogger in Cairo and almost gets run down every day on the streets of Auckland, New Zealand because she's not used to waiting for such crazy things as Walk Signs.

Stephanie Faris, of Steph in the City, brought up the controversial debate between Jennifer Aniston and Bill O'Reilly over women that volunteer for single motherhood. This debate was sparked in relation to Aniston's latest movie The Switch which you should all go see because Patrick Wilson's in it. But read Stephanie's post and the wide range of comments first.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!