Monday, April 13, 2009
There's a Reason I'm Single and Childless...
And no, it's not by choice.
After this past Saturday, I'm convinced it is God's will.
On Saturday, I took 7 girls (ages 10-16) to the Renaissance Faire.
That was my first mistake.
I was pretty pleased, overall, with the way the day turned out. Although I forced them to do a few activities as a group...
(I'll admit the "joust" didn't turn out so great, but they all LOVED the 4 Straw Wheat Weaving--even though they ALL grumbled about it like crazy at first.)
...before giving them free time to explore the Faire without having some "old" lady following them around.
That was my second mistake.
Everything seemed fine. And I must state that everyone went home alive and in tact.
(At least the ones in my car did.)
(And trust me, it was a challenge.)
The ride home was really enlightening. I learned that the only kid that ate any real food was the one that stayed with me during lunch before running off with her friends. Everyone else spent their money on rides instead of meals. Although one did buy a pretzel. And ice cream. Hello?? How could they complain about being hungry and then NOT eat anything?? When I was a kid, I never voluntarily skipped a meal. I just assumed they would be the same way.
Nope.
Also, I had sent the 16-year-old (we'll call her Trouble) along with two 10-year-olds (who have earned the nicknames of Little Bear and Tiny Toon--don't ask!).
I figured that Trouble couldn't cause too many problems when she had Little Bear and Tiny Toon tagging along with her. Right? Right?
(How many of you mothers of teenagers are laughing your butts off at me right now?)
Yes. Darling Trouble made "friends" with 5? 6? 10?? guys from the Ren Faire. I heard a full report on the way home. She left with 2 phone numbers. The 10-year-olds thought it was hilarious and "want to be like that" when they get older. When I was 10, boys were still icky. Not to these Future Jail Baiters of America. They can't WAIT until boys are salivating over them and begging them to "come say good bye" before they leave.
Trouble also bought some...um...jewelry with awesome Wiccan symbols all over it. I wouldn't have minded that much, except that it sparked an unexpected religion discussion among the younger girls (all of whom are of varying faiths). One that I wasn't prepared nor in a position to answer. And telling them to "go home and ask" their parents didn't seem like the best idea either since I didn't want moms to think I condone this sort of thing.
Oh, and of course, there was the part where I was unable to divert the conversation about all of the piercings she used to have and the ones she wants to get.
Now Little Bear wants a tatoo and Tiny Toon wants to pierce her septum.
And that, my friends, is why I am convinced that I would be the worst mother in the entire world.
I can just imagine my future 4-year-old coming home from preschool and asking, "Mommy, for my fifth birthday party, can we can get someone to do body piercings?"
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This made me laugh. Ten year-olds are such hussies these days!
ReplyDeleteOh, and my post today is all about how you can find a great man! I do it all for you.
That is so true...I am single and childless as well. I live vicariously through my best friend and her trials with her 11 and 9 year old. God bless mothers!
ReplyDeleteHow did you end up with this lovely task? Have any of the parents called you yet? HAHA!
ReplyDeleteOh boy! That my friend is reason enough to NOT have children. All hail to the mothers of tweens and teens.
ReplyDeleteThankfully women dont give birth to 7 girls of various ages at one time. I am pretty confident you'll be a great mom.
ReplyDeleteOmigosh, the horror! My daughter asked me if she came out my tummy or the "other" area. I wanted to run! Doesn't she know a giant stork brought her to me? The word "other" made me shiver.
ReplyDeleteYou've got your stuff together so parenting would be a breeze for you, Karen. ;)
I think the behavior of those girls speaks more about their parents than you. I'm still convinced you're not meant to be single and childless forever. :) Oh, and very funny post!
ReplyDeleteGIRLS that age? You didn't have a chance. No woman would. Trust me. I think, all things considered, you did amazingly well. I wouldn't have taken them in the first place! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my..how funny is this post~!?
ReplyDeleteAnd fwiw, I think you still would make an amazing mom!
Peace
*~Michelle~*
Kristina: It's true! You'd be amazed what 10-year-olds are into these days! And I loved your post today!
ReplyDeleteJ: Sometimes it is better to observe. You can always hand them back when they start talking and having opinions and stuff.
Hotpants: I'm a youth group leader that serves 10-20 year-olds. Our oldest is 16.
Me: Seriously! The idea of parenting teenagers scares me! It's so much different from when I was a kid!
Catherine: Very true about that...but what if I have septuplets?? And thank you!
Akilah: I remember the day my sister (16 years my junior) started talking about the "baby hole." Scary! And thank you!
Em: For the most part, they have good moms. A couple of them have sad backgrounds, but I'm afraid those two will rub off on the rest! And I sure hope it's not permanent. Thank you!
Gina: Thank you! Overall, it wasn't so bad. Just a little hectic. Next time I'm going to have to watch them like a HAWK!
Michelle: Thank you very much!
I take my hat off to you for volunteering for the hardest job in the world. You had all the responsibility, yet none of the power of a parent... yikes!
ReplyDeleteJust spent some serious time here and laughed and read some more. Cute blog! Love your world.
ReplyDeleteOh my! I think even the world's best mother would have been in trouble in this situation! Good for you for attempting it!
ReplyDelete