Thursday, June 11, 2009
My Life Sucks! Just Ask Facebook...
Obviously, the main reason I go there is to reconnect with old friends. (Hi, old friends!) It's actually been pretty amazing how I've been able to find people I haven't talked to in 10 or 15 years. People that I always liked but just lost contact with over the years.
(At first, I was a little afraid that all of the people I have been avoiding for the past decade or so might track me down, but I'm starting to believe that they are just as glad to be done with me as I am with them.)
One of the other
For example, thanks to Facebook, I have learned that I should be living in South Dakota because I prefer pine trees and lakes to palm trees and the big blue ocean. I also learned that, of all the cities in California, I should be living in San Diego because I love palm trees and the big blue ocean. I discovered, via the Rorschach Test, that I am "tormented" while most of my friends are "perfectly sane." I am also "Not at all Mexican," my inner-nationality is "Swedish," and my LOST character is "Kate Austen."
(Unlike the haters, I love Kate, so this one is just fine with me!)
Last night, I was informed that my life sucks.
I took the quiz "Rate My Life" and scored a 6.5 out of 10.
In a matter of six questions, I went from a general feeling of discontentment to finding out that a rhinoceros attempting a balance beam routine would get a higher score than my whole life.
What were those six essential questions, you might ask? Take a look for yourself. Maybe you'll learn a little something about how lousy your own life is, too:
1. What is your highest level of education?I have a Bachelor's Degree. Two, in fact. And considering that approximately 27.2% of Americans have a Bachelor's Degree, I'm thinking being in the 73rd percentile is pretty good. So, I think that one helped my score. At least a little.
- Graduate Degree
- Doctorate
- Bachelors
- Highschool
- Jr High or lower
2. I am overweightSo, yeah, I am. What about that expression "fat and happy"? You'd think that should count for something, right?
- Disagree
- Agree
- Strongly Disagree
- Neutral
- Strongly Agree
3. How often do you have sex?Now this question isn't really fair. Because it doesn't take into account the reasons why you might choose a specific answer. For example, hypothetically speaking, someone might choose "Very seldom or never" but it might be for completely voluntary religious purposes. Maybe.
- 1-5 times a month
- 5-10 times a month
- 10-20 times a month
- Very seldom or never
- A lot, I don't even keep count
I don't really understand why they are rating my life based on what I think other people think about me. That sounds a little weird, doesn't it? Shouldn't it matter if I think I have good character? But regardless, I had to agree with this one because people seem to trust me and they probably wouldn't if they thought I had bad character, right? Although all those people did trust Bernie Madoff...
4. Others think that I have a good character.
- Strongly Agree
- Disagree
- Agree
- Neutral
- Strongly Disagree
5. Have you ever... (check the one that you've done the most)I tried to submit the quiz without marking an answer since I have never done any of these things. It wouldn't let me. It FORCED me to say that I have done one of these. I finally settled on "Watched porn" because some of the crap that makes it into movies and TV (and NO, I am NOT talking about NC-17 or TV-MA, sheesh!) can sort of qualify. When I went back and changed my answer to "Done drugs" since I have been (a teeny, tiny bit) addicted to caffeine, the result was the same. I wonder if I would have gotten a higher score if I'd been in prison...
- Cheated on your partner
- Smoke cigarettes
- Done drugs
- Watched porn
- Been to prison
6. I am happy with my lifeWell, how happy would YOU be after having to admit that you're overweight, you never have sex, you've watched porn and done drugs?
- Strongly Disagree
- Neutral
- Agree
- Strongly Agree
- Disagree
So I think I might lay off the Facebook quizzes for awhile. I just don't want to find out that my secret celebrity crush is Andrew Dice Clay and that I'm going to die of bee stings while attempting my ideal career of underwater opera singing.
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I think you might want to talk to your bishop about your porn addiction. Be proud! Own it!
ReplyDeleteFacebook told me I should live in South Carolina. How the hell is that any different than Tennessee?
ReplyDeleteI usually hate the results I get from Facebook quizzes. Like when I took the one about what Pixar character I was, and I got Mater from Cars because of my "silly sense of humor and redneckedness."
ReplyDeleteRedneckedness.
I repeat: redneckedness.
Suck it, Facebook quiz!
Well, one has to wonder which answers improve one's life and which detract from it (according to Facebook). We could argue that someone who has sex more than 20 times a month is suffering from some sort of addiction or obsessive behavior.
ReplyDeleteAnd the education question? Sometimes less educated people are happier than highly educated people. Actually, most of the time I think! I have a graduate degree, so I know.
And anyone who "strongly disagrees" that they are overweight is probably too thin, because doesn't everyone think they're too fat, even if they're not?
Plus, I don't think simply having "watched porn" makes someone unhappy. Necessarily. I'm just sayin'...
This post was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteYou are funny, Kar! You make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteSo funny I had to walk away for a sec. Karen you crack me up. Oh. Please pick up your award from me my ever so witty and always charming friend.
ReplyDeleteI will say that I clinked on the rorschach test and it was so bizarre that I closed it after the first question. So that one is outlier. On the other hand I am writtong this from my brand new blackberry storm so my life is infinitely better than yours.
ReplyDeleteHoly Cow, I'm laughin' my guts out...that was quite hilarious...thanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteThis is one funny post! Go over to my blog!
Have a great day!
Cindy
I'm addicted to Facebook quizzes. I took this one after I saw your score. I think I finished with a 7.3 or something.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am "tormented" too while my 21 year old brother is perfectly sane. Figure that one out!
Thanks to Facebook quizzes, I've learned that I will die from being crushed by a sumo wrestler falling down the stairs on me. I could have sworn that zombies would get me. Nope, sumo butt. "How Will You Die" is my favorite Facebook quiz.
ReplyDeleteHilarious post!
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by from SITS to say hi and have a great weekend!
Too funny!!
ReplyDeleteThose quizzes are all rubbish. Really.
There's a quiz on FB to tell UC Davis students which UC Davis Building bathroom they are.
THAT kind of rubbish. Haha.
Shawna's Study Abroad
That is so funny!! Thanks for visiting my blog. I love So Cal! You're a great writer...
ReplyDeleteSaw you featured on Chalk it up today. Congrats! You're hysterical I never do those quizzes. I get ones like what kind of dog breed are you? I'm just not ready to see
ReplyDelete"Jen's a Rottweiler". Woof. Woof.
So hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh. I needed it today.
ReplyDeleteI try not to take Facebook quizzes. I've found that I should not have been born blonde, that I should have already had a girl, and that I should live in Florida. I'd rather waste my time doing FarmTown.
Kristina: You are SO right. Luckily, my bishop doesn't even know who I am. :-)
ReplyDeleteHotpants: Um...It's nearer to the ocean?
Nikol: It told me I'm Mater, too! We're the same!
Janet: I actually thought about that, too. I'm sure some of those were going for something along the "middle of the road." No way to tell, though, unfortunately.
Gracey and Kel: Thank you!
Lyn: Thank you so much for the award! I hope you don't mind if I wait until next week to blog about it!
MDP: Your life IS infinitely better than mine, even without the Blackberry! Give my nephew a hug for me!
Xazmin and Cindy: Thank you!
Em: Those quizzes just know...
Kris: I haven't actually done the "How will you die" quiz, but now I guess I'm going to have to!
ArmyWife: Thank you! And thanks for stopping by!
Shawna: They are rubbish, it's true. So why can I not get enough??
Hillori: Thank you so much! And thanks for joining in the fun!
TuTu's Bliss: Yeah, they are silly, I know. And thank you for jumping on board!
Katherine: I hope the move went ok! I haven't really gotten into Farm Town, but maybe it would be a better waste--er--USE of my time. :-)