Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Blog Guilt

Everyone has different definitions of what it means to be a "good blogger."

I don't have a lot of rules when it comes to blogging. I try to post regularly. I try to reply to comments. I try to visit all of my followers and visitors. Whenever I read a post on another blog, I try to leave a thoughtful comment that has something to do with their post, so that they'll know I actually read what they wrote.

Lately, it's been getting harder. I follow a lot of blogs. Not as many as some of you, but a lot. Some of y'all are WORDY. You write long posts, which isn't a bad thing because your writing's good and your content is interesting. But it takes time to read a really long post.

(Yes, I know I'm VERY guilty of this!)

And then there are the 2, 3, 4 posts per day. It's hard to keep up with. I try. I really do. But when I've just gotten through 18 posts on my Google Reader, and suddenly someone pops up with 2 more...I read them. I do. But I don't always get around to commenting. And then I feel guilty about it.

And I haven't been responding to all of your awesome comments on MY posts.I read every single one of them and I try to reply by email when your addresses are not set to no-reply. Either that, or I'll reply in the comments section, although I'm pretty sure most of you don't check back to see if I did. But I don't get back to them all, so then I feel guilty that you didn't get a response.

A few weeks ago, I had an AMAZING SITS day. I had so many visitors and comments galore and more new followers than I ever imagined could happen in a single day.

And I tried to repay all those visits. I really did. But after two weeks I'd only gotten about halfway through the comments. And by that time, I figured most everyone else had forgotten about it, so I stopped worrying about it. And felt guilty about that.

I have even more new followers now that I still haven't visited. And I just keep piling on that guilt.

I feel like I'm a bad blogger.

I try to tell myself I must be doing something right since you keep coming back for more, my stats keep ticking steadily upward, and my core group of bloggy friends is still growing.

But still. I feel guilty.

And I really don't know what to do about it.

What about you? Do you feel bad when you don't repay visits or reply to comments? Do you feel unloved when I don't respond to you? How can I fix this? How do you handle it?

Tomorrow's Confession Wednesday topic: what else? Thanksgiving Confessions!

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Posted by Karen Peterson
This post is: 
at 7:33 AM
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32 comments:

  1. Ok hun first off you are HUMAN not wonder woman we understand you can't be everywhere at once ( I don;t care what the tv says it ain't happening). You do what you can and let it rest at that don't feel guilty. We will continue to come not because you always respond to us but because you write stuff we can relate tok laugh with you on, ot simply empathize with you on and THAT my dear is what makes you a good blogger..
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  2. Karen, I am a new blog follower of yours (from SITS). I like to read lots of blogs, and it does take time. I don't mind if someone doesn't comment back or respond. I think it's - all - a day in the life of a blogger.

    I am sure everyone understands. I am sure you are very proud and happy to have so many visitors.

    It's a happy thing, not a guilt thing.

    :-)
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  3. So, I read a lot of blogs, as you can imagine. I definitely don't respond to every comment left on my blog, meaning if someone leaves a comment, I don't reply to the comment.

    I do try to visit every blogger than leaves me a comment, and it can be tough. But I have a job with a lot of down time.

    I used to feel a lot more guilty than I do now. I take blogs off my Reader pretty much everyday. I just don't have time to read blogs of people who probably don't read mine anymore.

    Also, I suspect that the many of the SITS bloggers came to visit because they "had" to. I'm not saying they didn't enjoy your posts, but I suspect many of them won't come back anyway.
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  4. I think you've hit a new level of blogging success. It might require you to let go of some of the things you were doing in the beginning. Just a week ago I was reliably getting 2 to 3 comments on each of my new posts. Now I'm getting comments on stuff that goes back to the very beginning of the blog. I have no idea what is going on anymore. I do my best to maintain relationships and forge ahead with new ones, but there's a lot more to do in life than just blogging. (Sorry about my long posts - they always turn out longer than I intended!)
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  5. Oh I know the feeling. In the beginning I used to be ON POINT with replying and commenting and visiting and finding new blogs to read. But then work picks up (or slows all the way down), things happen in real life (because it's not all about the blog, you know), sometimes you're tired and sometimes you just need a break.

    It's important to recognize this and realize that it's ok. You're human and you're allowed to chillax. I used to feel like a bad blogger because I wasn't getting to everyone ever day. But like you said, that takes up a lot of time and we don't always have it.

    But I'm sure we all love the effort you put into reaching out and putting out great content!

    (This comment should be long enough to carry me over for any days I happen to miss!)
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  6. First to answer yoru question: Jordan is really close. The flight is about an hour tops. Once there it's kinda pricey but you can find inexpensive hotels if you look. If you're in Egypt there's the whole Nile Cruise option too - those usually include the cruise, guide, and all meals. Check my posts from February for deets. (i think that's when i did that series.)

    Ok blogging... I keep my husband that blogging is a full time job. Checking and commenting all the blogs i follow, back commenting to people who visit that i don't know, and writing teh darned posts in the first place. I missed this weekend and i'm still playing catch up. It's a mess. So i totally feel you!

    Oh and i have no idea who you were talking about when you mentioned long wordy posts. Nope, no idea what so ever. None. *innocent*
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  7. I so relate, and I could probably write one of those long, wordy posts you so love to read in response to this topic!

    "Commenting" is the bane of my existence, mostly due to the fact that I am not a full-time blogger . . . I'm a busy mom who has extremely limited time on the computer each day. But "social networking" is imperative if one wants to build a readership. And then there are the blogs that I truly love to visit. I do love to receive comments, but I hate for people to write a comment merely out of obligation.

    I think you made some really good points for bloggers to consider, like keeping posts short and not overposting.
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  8. I try to reply to comments as often as I can, especially if someone's asking me a direct question. I try to visit all of my blog followers from time to time, but can't follow everyone back. If I get behind on reading for even one day, I'll have 100 posts to go through. I do go through every one eventually though.
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  9. Okay. Here is the low-down from me.
    First of all, great title. Usually if a title catches my attention I will click on that post first. I guess I kinda have some blog guilt of my own huh? I too follow ALOT of people. And if you post a really LONG post on your blog, chances are, unless it is REALLY exciting I don't read it. I don't have time to read it, and then comment. But I try and comment on everyone who at least attempt at a comment on my blog. My email is hooked up so I can hit reply right back at them. If their email is hooked up we can talk. I LOVE that! That way if I don't get around to actually going to their blog, I've at least responded to them. I love blogging! it is a great hobby of mine! I can't wait until I have 100 more followers! :)
    I think that is about it. As long as you post at least one thing a day, and it is funny or interesting, I will read it.
    Thanks for this post though. It was a good reminder for me not to feel blog guilty if I don't happen to comment on EVERY blog out there that I follow. I litereally would not get anything else done. :)
    Hope U have a great Thanksgiving. I might join in tomorrow for your confessions...I have several. :)
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  10. You are human! You are not a bad blogger. It's impossible to always reply to each comment and to leave a comment for every single blog you read. *HUGS*
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  11. I don't expect anyone to respond to every comment I leave on a blog :-) Try not to feel guilty because otherwise blogging starts to feel like a chore instead of fun...that's what happened to me. I have to say that if someone posts several times a day I read the subject and decide from there if I'm going to read it or not....it's just too much and I follow too many blogs to possibly read every single post if someone posts several times in a day! There are only so many hours in a day and I can't spend all of them on blogger :-)
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  12. Oh don't feel bad or guilty. You can't possibly do it all. I don't expect reply's to all my comments. Its enough to know that you do read my blog from time to time. Just do what you can do and what you want to do. Enjoy it and have fun with no guilt.
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  13. Hey Karen,
    Even when I am reading one of my favorite bloggers posts, if it's wordy, I'm skimming. I assume that my readers do that too sometimes, especially when I'm wordy or just unfocused.

    I RARELY reply to comments. If I do, I do it via e-mail, because I never go back to check the blogs where I've commented to look for responses.

    You are a great commenter. I love seeing comments from you on my blog. It's always obvious that you've read it and I appreciate that.

    I have some blogs on my reader that I read only when I am totally caught up with other blogs or actually...gasp...have a few extra minutes on my hands. I can tell you honestly that yours isn't one of them. You are one of my favorite bloggers because of all the stuff you do right. You shouldn't be feeling any guilt.

    Now don't bother replying to my wordy comment. If you just skimmed it, I forgive you. ;)
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  14. It is nice to get a reply to a comment that I leave on blogs but I am not offend if I don't get one. I know I have a really hard time replying to all of my comments and keeping up on the reading. You can't beat yourself up over not getting back to everyone or reading everyone's blogs. You can only do what you can do.
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  15. I gave you an award over at my blog. Check it out!
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  16. Awww, don't feel guilty!! The fact of the matter is your followers are here for your blog posts first and foremost. Until you slack in that department then there is nothing to feel guilty about!! ;)
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  17. I don't expect any replies to comments. If I really wanted a reply, I would e-mail. And I love getting comments from you. Just do what you can, and that's fine.
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  18. Join the club! I am so busy these days... I can't keep up with life and now the kids are home for the week, the blogging has definitely fallen by the wayside... not that I don't have much to talk about... I have so much to talk about, just no time to talk about it with!!!
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  19. Oh I am SO glad you posted about this! I feel the same way! Blogging can be overwhelming and believe me, I definitely follow a few people who have multiple daily posts. I really, really want to be a good follower (i.e., I try to only follow if I know I'll read your blog) and I always try to leave a comment whenever I can (ppl love comments!) but gosh DARN it's like a full-time job! AND I get bummed if I don't have something to post on my own blog so I'll scramble about trying to come up with something witty or funny and end up with something mediocre and blah just because I wanted something posted in time!

    Basically all I'm trying to say is: "Have no fear, I feel the same as you, and if you never, ever reply to this comment, I'll stop following you." Er, I mean, "It's OK, I'll still think you're cool."

    "But probably not as much."
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  20. Um. Hello. Why would you be worried about responding to every single post & comment. You do actually have to live. I am sure everyone would agree that you do a fantastic job at maintaining your blog. If someone is upset that you did not answer them immediately or at all they need to take a deep breath and relax.

    Step away from the computer and take a long hot shower. Light some candles. Anything. Just stop stressing. You Rock Karen. Don't you forget that!
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  21. I went through something very similar not too long ago. And then I found this great site called Blog Guilt Free. They even had a cool button you can add to your sidebar and a "mission statement". Just know I looked it up so I could recommend it to you and it's gone. :( My links are no longer working and I wasn't able to find it. Oh well. It's still a great concept. Feel free to copy the button off my blog and use it. I'm a firm believer in guilt free blogging. Once I took the plunge and let go of it all, I've been much happier. Now I blog for me. No guilt allowed.
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  22. Nah......no gult.
    Take that pressure off of yourself right now.
    It's all just supposed to fun! Remember that!
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  23. no guilt. I think a few heart felt comments a day here and there is plenty. We are all busy. Don't beat yourself up.
    Cara
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  24. Life is to short for guilt. Do what you can and move on! We still love you :)
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  25. I don't think you have ever responded to me and I'm not sure if you've ever visited my blog. I'm fairly new but right before SITS day, I think, so maybe I got lost in the shuffle.

    But, I have a lot of followers too, so I do understand the guilt. I spend a ton of time keeping up with my followers, but it's always a challenge. No question about it.
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  26. No guilt allowed! You are one of the best bloggers I've met, in every respect. I don't expect a reply to a comment, unless maybe I asked a question.
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  27. I used to comment on every blog that followed me, but I can't keep up.

    I used to email responses to the comments, but I would be up all night!

    Now I just try to make up for it by writing really amazing stuff for my readers to read. Some days I'm more successful than others!
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  28. My dear sweet bloggy friend, please do not be so overcome by the guilties. They are such a downer. I, too, have felt such feelings and wondered what my readers think if I do not respond back to them. I try to just visit my reader's blogs regularly and post in their comments sections. Sometimes I email back and forth as you mentioned when you can respond directly to a comment, but if the 'no reply' thing comes up then I usually just leave it alone. Perhaps they don't have their email linked b/c they prefer to communicate in comments sections of blogs.

    I think the main thing for your to consider is that those people who read your blog regularly see that you have a decent number of followers, and understand that it is quite impossible for a working girl with a life to respond to everyone every time. That's ok. You're an amazing communicator, and honestly I feel appreciated by a lot of your regular content. You're a very thoughtful blogger!
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  29. as always...you are too stinkin' nice.

    this is your blog, your rules, something that you do for yourself...remember that.

    i used to feel guilty too...but somewhere along the way, i became a blogging snob or just a slacker.
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  30. What a dilemma! I visit my commentor's sites, but then maybe I don't have as many readers as you do. However, if someone is kind enough to stop by and read my post, I return the compliment - it's a hospitality thing ingrained in the southern culture I grew up in. I also think it's amazingly sweet that someone would take the time to read my very long posts and that it has the desired effect - to impact in some way.

    Great prompt!
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  31. This made me laugh. I am guilty of being wordy as well. I am new to all this and while trying to get started, it's really easy to um, stop having a life . . .? So comment when you can and leave the guilt behind you. Support your fellow comrades but when this becomes too stressful, well it's just not worth it anymore.

    Visiting from SITs but willl try and stop by again!
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  32. I do the same thing. Sometimes, life and work and kids just get in the way of blog reading. And then I'm scanning and trying to pick and choose who to visit and then I don't comment because I just scan and so on and so on. I'm working on learning to just let it go when life gets too busy and I make a point to scroll down to older stuff when I do get to visit- like I'm doing right now with you!
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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias

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