Confession Wednesday: Twilight Confessions

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Do you sleep with a copy of Twilight under your pillow?

Have you memorized the entire New Moon soundtrack?

Did you think Eclipse was a bigger waste of 640 pages than the federal budget?

Did you want to break something when you finished reading Breaking Dawn?

Then let's hear your confession!

It's no secret that I pretty much loathe the Twilight Saga and sort of think Stephenie Meier is a hack.

I went into the first book with a completely open mind. I had heard nothing but amazing things about it and was excited to find out what all the fuss was about. I know there are people that intentionally avoid fads, but I have rarely been disappointed when I've jumped on a media bandwagon.

(Okay, I still don't get the popularity of House, or So You Think You Can Dance.)

(Or Alec Baldwin.)

But still. I discovered Harry Potter four years after Philosopher's Stone found its way into London bookstores, and it was love at first sentence. I had somehow never heard of Lord of the Rings until I saw "that kid from North" in a preview for Fellowship of the Ring. And I don't even want to admit how long I waited to see a Monty Python flick.

The point is, when I read a book or watch a movie that's insanely popular, it's more likely I'll enjoy it than scratch my head and wonder what the fuss was all about.

I'm still confused about Twilight. I really don't get it. I loved the story of the first novel. I really wanted to scream at the overabundance of adverbs, but I was totally sucked into the plot and couldn't put it down. And then New Moon came along and the writing was infinitely better than the first and I thought, "Now she's really going places with this! I understand why everyone loves it!" I thought the end of that one was a bit cheesy, but easily forgiven because the rest of the story was so good.

And then there was Eclipse.

Okay, in all honesty, I don't even remember much about Eclipse. A lot of that one just blurs right into Breaking Dawn in my head.

Y'all, I'm going to be talking about stuff that happened in the last book, so if you don't want to read any spoilers, just skip down. Otherwise, highlight the big blank space below to keep reading:

A lot of people assume I didn't like the last book because Bella changes into a vampire. Let me assure you, that's not it at all. I mean, it was pretty inevitable from the first book. Yes, it's true that I hoped she would change her mind and decide NOT to change but to live her life as a normal person and end up with Jacob. But then, that was before Jacob inexplicably turned into a whiny baby.

The real problem I had with the Saga's conclusion (and those of you that have read my blog awhile already know this, sorry!) is that there are no consequences. We are told for pages and pages that Bella's going to be dangerous when she's a newborn. Nope. Instead, she's got this amazing gift of self-control and protection or whatever. We're informed that, sadly, she'll never get to see Charlie again because of the change in her appearance and all. But, she gets to see Charlie almost immediately. The Volturi are coming! If they won't listen then Bella and her poorly-named spawn will be killed. They prepare for battle and Alice even runs away because she sees how awful it's going to be. And then the Volturi show up and they're like "Oh, our bad. This baby's human. We'll just be going now."

There are no consequences. You can't take four books and countless hours of my life just to have everything work out perfectly well and happy for everyone. Yes, there needs to be a payoff. But it also has to feel like a payoff, not just a happy-go-lucky finish. You don't just get everything you want in life. There's a price to pay for everything. You have to work for the happy ending. You have to earn it.

There was no earning anything in the Twilight Saga.

And that's why I didn't like it.

I've been frustrated about Twilight's popularity. I really don't think of myself as a literary snob. I'll finish A Tale of Two Cities one day and pick up The Devil Wears Prada the next. But I just couldn't wrap my brain around Meier's writing.

And then I read an article or a blog post or something about the publishing industry. And the fact is that those people know what they're doing. At some point, some agent read her manuscript and thought it was worth representing. And then an editor decided it was worth editing. And a publishing house thought it was worth killing trees over.

And then millions of fangirls fell in love with Edward Cullen.

And who am I?

I'm just this lonely little blogger with a half dozen unfinished manuscripts sitting on a hard drive and dreaming of publication.

Really, who am I to condemn Stephenie Meier or a series of books that has gotten people reading? Who cares if I thinks it's quality? The fact is that many of you do.

And so, I will no longer say I hate Twilight. Instead, I will simply say that I don't understand it.

Have something you want to confess?? Grab the button up above and link up your post down below. Come on! You know you want to...