Monday, January 4, 2010
Looking Back for the Future
It seems like everyone else is doing it. And I didn't spend nearly enough of my high school life giving into peer pressure, so I thought I'd start now.
The end of a decade. Depending on who you talk to. On the one hand, there was no year ZERO, so it makes sense that decades, centuries and millenia should be counted as 1-10. Which would mean that we have just entered the last year of the decade.
Or, you could argue that, no, there was not a year ZERO, but that anytime more than one digit changes in the year, it's acceptable to welcome the new whatever.
I'm sort of a go with the flow kinda girl--
(Stop laughing, Mom.)
--so I figure I'll just go with the crowd and say we just entered a new decade.
Which means it's time to look back on the past ten years. To summarize, to evaluate, to remember.
And so, here's a look back at my life during the...
(00's?)
(Aughts?)
...first decade of the 21st century.
Yeah. That's it.
13--1st dates
5--2nd dates
3--1st kisses
7--times I packed up all my stuff and moved
8--Wards
7--Stakes
7--jobs
2--Bachelor's Degrees
10--concerts
10--other live stage productions
3--stamps in my passport
13--States visited
3--times I voted for President
1--time I wanted to vote for "None of the above"
16--weddings attended
4--chances to be a bridesmaid
2--bouquets caught
2--awesome kids were born and became my unofficial niece and nephew
1--official cutest nephew on the planet
Quite honestly, I really didn't think much had happened in my life. I mean, when it started I had no boyfriend, a job I didn't love, a vague plan for the future but no real idea of where I was headed. I volunteered in Job's Daughters, was very active in church, and spent my free time watching movies and reading books and generally looking for something to do.
Today, I have no boyfriend, a job I...like well enough, a vague plan for the future but no real idea of where I'm headed. I volunteer in Job's Daughters, am very active in church, and spend my limited free time watching too much television, too many movies, not enough books and blogging until all hours.
Hmmm.
But then there's the in between.
Thinking about those numbers up above, I've realized that the last decade was actually a pretty exciting one.
In 2000, I met and dated a guy that was all wrong for me, tried to make it work, was heartbroken when it didn't. But, along the way I learned a BIG lesson about myself and about relationships and was finally able to move on. And I did move on. To Utah. I packed my life and moved 700 miles away to a place where I knew approximately 3 people. It was the scariest thing I had ever done, but it was also the best.
In Utah, I worked, I met people, I went back to school--
(Weber State! Weber State! Great! Great! Great!)
--and generally lived it up. I found friends and a life and hardly ever spent a weekend at home alone with nothing to do. It was the life I had been looking for and I was loved it. Until winter came and it snowed.
In 2001, my paternal grandfather passed away. And then the nation and the world learned about the worst kind of grief imaginable.
In 2002, I went to Germany and France, learned to accept the torture of unrequited love, watched on television as the ANGELS WON THE WORLD SERIES, moved into a haunted house, got a new job, broke up with a friend, and somehow managed to have a great time. Maybe because I ended that year watching my best friend marry an amazing guy.
2003 was the year I graduated from college, my maternal grandfather passed away, and then I watched my mom marry the love of her life.
In 2004, I moved into my OWN PLACE which was the BEST THING EVER. I mean, I've had some good roommates through the years, but there is NOTHING like having your own space. I also watched my younger brother marry the love of HIS life, and cried like a baby through most of the ceremony.
(Because I was really, really happy for him.)
(Not because I was depressed that he got married before me.)
(Really.)
2005 was fairly uneventful until I had to break up with another friend--
(which is a story that would make for a GREAT blog post...)
--and then watched two of my best friends marry each other, a week before my nephew was born. I also moved in with my Utah BFF, Kelli, and started going to a new Ward with the families of a lot of soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was the first time the war really, really sunk in for me, even though I'd personally known a few soldiers that had been there.
By 2006, it was time to come back to California and I did. I was excited to come home, but cried for at least the first 3 hours of the long drive across the desert. I still desperately miss my friends. But then it snows and I remember that I like living here.
In 2007 I turned 30, started my current job, and lamented the fact that I was 30 and living in my mother's office slash guest room. And I discovered BLOGGING.
In 2008 I moved out of my mother's office slash guest room and into an awesome townhouse with two cool roommates. I also met a really great guy and fell in love.
And in 2009, I watched my best friend graduate from college, my brother graduate from law school and dealt with the worst heartbreak of my life. It's getting better, but the hurt is still there. I think some little bit of it will be for a long time.
I don't know what the next ten years will mean for me. I don't know what roof I'll wake up under on January 1, 2020. Maybe I'll be married and have kids. Maybe not. Maybe I'll be a successful and published author, or maybe I'll just be content with maintaining this blog...if I still have stuff to blog about ten years from now.
I don't know what life holds for me. But I do know that it's time to make some decisions and some changes. I can't spend the next decade wondering what to do with myself and waiting for life to start happening for me. I finally figured out that it doesn't work that way.
So, hopefully I will see some more concerts, do some more traveling, welcome another niece or nephew, and have some amazing experiences. But the biggest thing I hope to accomplish is to figure out what the heck to do with my life.
Suggestions?
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Interesting list. For a minute it made me consider going back to look at what has happened in my last decade, then I came to my senses. I don't think it would be nearly as interesting as yours.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the pain in 2009. As for what to do in this decade? No suggestions other than keep doing what your doing, you'll do fine, I have no doubt.
You've done a lot of stuff! I wish you still lived in Utah so we could kick it.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I figure out what I'm doing with my life, I'll pass along the game plan that I used but until then, you are own your own to figure it out...and if you do, pass your game plan along to me.
ReplyDeleteI almost did a look back list and there is still time but I had a lot of rough years in there...but I also had a lot of valuable life lessons...so maybe I will do a list now.
2010 is going to be an awesome year for you because I will more than likely be coming to chill with you...and that should be enough fun for the next decade. :p
I love this post. It's one of my favorites of yours. Sounds like 2010 could be pretty darn exciting!
ReplyDeleteI thought briefly about the alst 10 years of my life... then I got dizzy and stopped. I was married to a different man then... I had just moved to Indianapolis... I was getting involved in community theatre... I just started my job with my current company... A decade ago... I was on the cusp, on the edge, about to start taking steps- finally heading in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are working the journey though. It takes alot to pack up and move your life. Not that I've thought about it till now but the last decade was HUGE for me. Divorce, re-marrying having both my children and gaining 3 stepchildren, 4 new jobs and moving 5 times with kids.
ReplyDeleteWow...how jam packed is that.
Thanks for helping me look back. Yikes. Onward.
xx
Cristina
You had quite an eventful decade if you ask me. I wish you the best in the next decade whatever may come.
ReplyDeleteI also cried through much of my wedding ceremony... Not because I was sad for myself... Really. :) J/k
ReplyDeleteAlso, the good news is that during this decade Stephen and Erin will be old enough to procreate at some point, so that niece or nephew thing could definitely happen for you! :)
I think you had an amazing decade, if you ask me. That leap of faith of moving, blows me away....giving you huge props on that one.
ReplyDeleteI have this warm fuzzy feeling that this next decade is going to blow your mind on what unravels for you. Just something in my heart tells me so.
So here is to less valleys and more mountain tops~!
You really did have an eventful 10 years. I don't really have any suggestions for you, except to keep living your life the way you want to. Do what you love and what makes you happy. Create the life you want NOW and see where the next 10 years take you.
ReplyDeleteBrave to look back at the last 10 years! I can't imagine - I'm keeping the memories vague to ignore the approach of old age!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing last 10 years. I'm sure when you woke up Jan 1, 2000, that you didn't imagine how the next ten years would go by. So who knows how these next ones will pass. But I'm excited to follow your adventure.
ReplyDeleteThere are three things that have hurt me to the core of my soul.....
ReplyDeleteThe lose of my father....
he was my best friend.
9/11.....
Humanity should never have to experience such horror.
&.....
The lose of my ex Stephanie....
she was the best thing that ever happened to me.
That all happened within the span of about 18 months.....
They say time heals all wounds.....
I say it just dulls the pain.....
Wow, you've done a whole lot in the last 10 years!!! I really like what you said about not being sure under what roof you'll wake up under on 1/1/20...it's so hard to imagine what will happen in our lives in the next 10 years. Hopefully, lots more wonderful things.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion?? Finish that NOVEL!!!!!!
What a great look back on your last 10 years. I'll have to think about that. What a reflection it would be.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even think to look back at the decade—ten years sounds like such a long time, but my last 10 absolutely flew by. I think because I had my children in the last 10 years, and if there's one thing to make you feel old, it's watching kids grow up. Now, wait a minute, I thought kids were supposed to keep me young?! Hmm . . . Well, here's hoping your next 10 years are your very best yet!!
ReplyDeleteFun post. I'm trying to figure out the two friends you broke up with. R and A? Am I right???
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need to figure out what to do with your life. You already have a great life and you're living large! :)
When you're done with CA, move to ID. :)
My father-in-law insists the decade isn't over because of the reason you listed above.
ReplyDelete