Monday, February 1, 2010
Not me! Monday: Date Night Edition
(Because I apparently have a habit of confusing some people when I do this, I'll just clarify that capital NOT's mean it really DID happen and lower case not's are meant as written.)
I do NOT have a whole lot to tell you, my friends, about how I spent my Saturday night.I was NOT playing it a little bit cool on Friday when I mentioned that I was "getting together with a friend." I did NOT intentionally neglect to mention the fact that I had a date.
I will NOT let you in on the specifics of how we met and all that stuff later, and this is NOT what happened:
We did NOT meet up at my brother's house in Glendale. Because neither of us live anywhere near Glendale, so that would just be silly, right?
Our plan to go to the Griffith Observatory was NOT promptly thwarted by an insanely crowded parking lot and the closest street parking nearly a mile away down a very steep hill. Of course that would NOT stop us. We are healthy people who would love nothing more than to hike up a mountain to look at pictures of stars.
When it was clear that the Observatory was out, my date did NOT hop back on the freeway and announce that we were headed back in the direction of his house, forty minutes away. Of course he would ask if I had any other ideas, and I would certainly have offered some, because that's what you do when Plan A fails, right?
We did NOT sit in traffic for over an hour on the way back to his neighborhood where he did NOT take me to a local diner.
Side Note: The local diner SO did NOT have it's entire supply of beer sitting right up against a wall six feet from our table. That would be tacky. And possibly illegal.
Anyway, it did NOT occur to me that my date had spent the entire time talking about his brand new truck and answering all sorts of direct questions when I asked him about himself. And it did NOT annoy me at all that he had yet to ask a single thing about me. I mean, I hate talking about myself, so it was perfectly fine that he apparently didn't want to talk about me either.
And I am pretty sure my jaw stayed firmly in place after my date did NOT announce over dinner that he believes he might be autistic.
(Yes. He really said that.)
I did NOT try to assure him that he's probably fine, while in my head I did NOT immediately conclude that he probably has Asperger's Syndrome. After all, I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor, and I know that I am perfectly unqualified to make such a diagnosis.
We did NOT spend another two hours driving around town and he did NOT show me his house, the schools he used to go to, the convenience store he visits every Saturday morning, and the place where he used to live. He did NOT talk almost the whole time and I did NOT laugh my butt off when we finally hit on common ground and started swapping quotes from the movie Office Space.
I was NOT a little bit glad when he decided it was time to take me back to my brother's house. I mean, sure I'd only gotten four hours of sleep the night before, but I was wide awake and having such a fabulous time.
I did NOT say, "Sure" because he did NOT ask to take me out again. And I did NOT immediately inform him that my schedule is very busy for the next four weeks. I was NOT being completely honest about that. I do not wish I was kidding.
Marc and Kristi were NOT sitting inside and expecting me to return with a full report of the evening's festivities. I did NOT go inside and immediately tell them all about it. Marc did NOT jokingly suggest that we go to a midnight show of Avatar, which we have NOT been trying to see for weeks. While they were putting The Nephew to bed, I did NOT sneak onto the computer to check for showtimes and I did NOT find one down the street that started at eleven.
And then Marc and I did NOT throw our hands up in the air, did NOT throw caution and logic to the wind and did NOT go to an eleven o'clock movie. We are both very responsible adults who go to bed at reasonable times and understand that we are both too old to stay out until all hours of the night or morning.
Yeah, I did NOT get home at 3am.
And I did not NOT totally love hanging out with my little brother.
Not me! Mondays were created by MckMama. To find out what everyone else has NOT been up to, do NOT check it out here.
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Sounds like a winner!
ReplyDeleteYou should have Amanda tell you about her date to the car show.
Oh, and I am still in for Disneyland! I will send you guys an email a little later this afternoon.
Sounds... fun? I always try to look at odd experiences like that with a "Hey, at least I have a good story now," attitude.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Asperger's. Without a doubt. The funny thing is that on Mondays, I have two groups of kids with Asperger's and I spent my whole morning today discussing rules of conversation, including not monopolizing discussions. Send him my way next week. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, he's a keeper, for sure. ;) I hope he doesn't even bother to call!!!
ReplyDeleteCrappy date, huh? At least you had fun with your brother.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he totally has Asperger's! At least you got to have a nice time with your brother :)
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like the man of your dreams...are you kidding?! LOL...of course I'm joking. It's obvious the guy doesn't do a lot of dating because he pretty much broke every dating rule in the book.
ReplyDeleteOh and the icing on the cake "I think I might be autistic" yet he talked about himself the whole night...I would've said, "Uh, no, you're not autistic....you're just a narcissist".
Hmm, I think I got a little NOT/not confused on the second date, but I'll follow the context clues and make my own conclusion.
ReplyDeleteBetter luck next time!
That sucks. Glad the night was redemed by the bro though.
ReplyDeleteAh, dating hell. Awesome. Just think of all the story fodder it will give you. I'll be able to meet my two book a year obligation easily with the years of dating disasters I have saved up. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteThis did NOT crack me up! Wow, that reminds me of my last date...on medication of ADD vs. autistic...tough call. I do NOT love that terrible dates lead to fantastic stories.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he has a "Jump to Conclusions Mat."
ReplyDeleteWhat really would have been funny is if the date had shown up for the midnight Avatar, too!
ReplyDeleteWell at least you got to hang out with your brother and see Avatar. What an awesome movie!
ReplyDeleteWhy do guys always talk about their truck?? It's like a child or something.
ReplyDeleteOffice space quotes ROCK. Ummm yeaaah...
Best part of the night was Avatar with your brother. I've seen it twice and really, really want to see it again!
Well, the date made for a great post! And possibly great future joke material... if you're anything like me! : )
ReplyDeleteOh man, that autistic thing is hilarious. Man, oh, man how I miss first dates! :)
ReplyDeleteUmmm...fun? I'll be completely honest. This is why every day I'm grateful to be out of the dating pool. Yes, there were a lot of fun things, but stories like this make me excited that you're dating, but glad that I'm not.
ReplyDeleteAt least you got free dinner, right? ;)
ReplyDelete