Monday, February 8, 2010

Wild Child

I'm fairly certain that if anyone knew half the things that went through my head, they'd think I was crazy.

In my mind, I'm kind of wild.

I've always wanted to go to the airport and buy a ticket for wherever the next plane is flying.

(Yup. Just like in Yes, Man.)

(And I, too, could have a blast in Lincoln, Nebraska.)

I am DYING to be part of one of those flash mobs that "spontaneously" breaks out into song and dance in the middle of a crowded train station.

While I want to see London and Sydney and Florence, the vacations I usually dream of are to places like Kathmandu, Marrakesh, and Antarctica.

I want to learn to ride a motorcycle and to try my hand at dog sledding and to get SCUBA certified so I can go shipwreck diving.

The girl that lives in brain is crazy. Spontaneous.

Awesome.

I really want to be her.

The problem, though, is that I grew up with this ingrained sense of...caution? Decorum? Need to keep my bones unbroken?

I'm not quite sure what it is, but there is something in my head that keeps me from doing the things I really want to do.

I mean, besides the fact that I barely make enough money to keep the ends meeting and all of my friends are either married or otherwise occupied with their own lives.

Plus, I seem to have this sense of adventure that most people don't share.

At least, that's how I interpret the raised eyebrows I occasionally receive or the "You want to do what??" I sometimes hear.

And then there's the time my mother pretended to go deaf when I uttered the word "motorcycle."

I want to be the girl who packs a backpack and takes off for a year, taking odd jobs as I work my way around the world.

I'll never do it.

For a lot of reasons.

For one, I'd miss my family a lot.

But I really want to.

Instead, I've built up this life for myself. Full of responsibility and order and structure.

And so, today I'm back at my desk job inside the windowless third floor of a decaying library building.

But my heart is somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.




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Posted by Karen Peterson
This post is: 
at 12:07 AM
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25 comments:

  1. Karen, we are a lot alike! I am the same way....I don't do things mostly out of fear. I've come to realize that. Lack of money is another one, but mostly it's just fear.
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  2. At least you're dreaming. That counts for something, I think. You're not completely accepting the way things are.
    Maybe set a more realistic goal to start with and build some confidence.

    This from someone much older than you who did NOT do it. And wishes he had.
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  3. I think a lot of women are the same way. We have big dreams and ideas but have ingrained in us to be sensible ..
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  4. Amen, sister. I am exactly the same way. Hope you have an awesome day.
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  5. I backpacked for six weeks. I think a year would be waaaaaay too long.
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  6. Oh just you wait... you will have so much adventure in the next few days, you will blow your mind.

    Not to boast on myself, like I regularly do...but I inspired my friend from high school to randomly move to Colorado. She thanks me all the time for it. Even my parents were jealous about my sense of adventure and moved to North Carolina for a year. So, let's get our hands dirty.

    (And about the random odd jobs, it is fun for a while, but it is financially exhausting and the jobs always suck...and you rarely get to use your brain, and people don't care what your story is, they just see you as a loser...) (well, in my experience.)

    I say it's time to listen to Queen's Break Free a million times.
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  7. make sure you set sail every day no matter where you happen to be~
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  8. I am midly spontaneous. Like going up to Park City for a night, out of the blue. Woohoo! I'm not really a risk taker.
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  9. I don't even have an inner wild child. You'd be lucky to have me pretend I couldn't hear if you had a conversation with me about two wheeled death traps (motorcycles)!

    But I do hope you get to see all of those exotic places someday. I have the lofty goal of traveling west of Indiana for the first time in my life. We can all dream.
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  10. oooh I 'd love to be part of a flash mob too! I think that would be sooo much fun!
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  11. Awww!

    I guess that's why God made you a writer . . . you may never do those things yourself, but you've got a fantastic inner world full of adventure that you can express in your book(s)!
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  12. I am not spontaneous. The financial part makes me much more nervous than anything else. I live in fear of making foolish financial decisions or going into debt for something other than school/house/car. I see lots of my friends doing really fun things, but sometimes I just don't get how they financially afford it. I am too much of a planner!

    And also, Marrakesh is amazing :)
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  13. If you have a spirit that soars like that, you will always be young and heart and you will live some of those dreams. I know it!
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  14. I can also be pretty adventurous in my mind! It's nice to have dreams.
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  15. I'd love to be like that too. My hubby has a motorcycle (for 3 years now, I think). I haven't been on it, but am hoping to get on it this Summer. We just saw Yes man a week ago.
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  16. I really think you should indulge one of these adventures. You won't regret it. But if you don't do it, you will regret it. Life is short. Live it!
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  17. oooh, I think you'll do at least one of these things...do it w/the kids! That'd be the best education ever;-)
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  18. All of those adventures sound like so much fun...why not take a mini-sabbatical and go experience it?
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  19. I am 100% with you on this - ok, maybe 99%, I am NOT with you on Antarctica.

    I've tried little adventures here and there, but I just don't see the big adventure happening.

    But, hey! There are always blog memes! You're tagged in one over at Cheap Wine and Cookies.
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  20. I loved this post. In fact, I probably couldve written it. Well..maybe not as well, but the idea would be the same. :)
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  21. You sound a lot like me. I want to do things like that but never do.

    Maybe one day you will!
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  22. That's why we need to both get in our cars and start driving to Vegas, let the spirit guide us to the hottest penny slot, sell everything we own on Craig's list to the highest bidder and go sleep in some more airports!
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  23. While I love the idea of adventure and spontaneity, I've had a hard time doing such things myself. I have friends that do, at the drop of a hat, go on trips and backpack and such. But they always do so by quitting their amazing job without any other plan to pay the bills, not paying their mortgage and once, even leaving their family for some adventure. So I guess I've come to equate being spontaneous with irresponsibility. Which is not how it should be, because SCUBA diving and exotic locals sure would be fun.
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  24. Wow - you should write an adventure book. lol You are a great writer... Love reading your blog.
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  25. We should totally find a way to do an online blog carnival flash mob because I totally dream of being either part of one or witness to one, too!!!
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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias

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