Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Confession Wednesday: Job Interviews
Did you ever accidentally spit on a prospective employer? Bring someone in for an interview just because you were curious about their Navy SEAL experience? Show up late for an interview and insist you'd been told the wrong time?
Well, it's time to confess!
Because, seriously, at some point or other, ALL of us have been through at least one job interview in our lives, right?
Immediately upon moving back to California from Utah, I started the Great Job Search of 2006.
Dozens of resumes yielded only a handful of interviews, but I was optimistic. The economy was still chugging along after all, and I was armed with a useless pair of Bachelor's Degrees and a resume that proved I had managed to endure employment with a single company for multiple years.
One morning, a week or so after getting settled into my mom's office/guest room, my phone rang. A private, online college to which Candace had submitted my resume--
(She was so excited I was coming home that she started the job application process for me a month before I actually moved.)
--was calling to set up an interview for the Admissions Recruiting position.
It paid pretty well and sounded like a good opportunity. Except that the receptionist on the line started asking about my html experience. When I explained I was vaguely familiar, she suggested that I might be better suited for a different position entirely.
Something to do with programming.
As in, computer programming.
Clearly, she was smoking crack.
(Unlike my 4 year old nephew who, just this past weekend, informed me that he does nothing of the sort.)
(I know. Don't ask.)
(No, no, no. That's not a statement about my brother OR my sister-in-law, and does not convey any judgment of their parenting skills.)
The receptionist, though, she was smoking crack. And probably had crazy parents.
(Not that I'm judging.)
I am not a computer programmer, but the extra 15 grand in salary and her insistence that I was "well-suited" for the "totally trainable" position piqued my curiosity. It was worth checking out.
When I arrived that afternoon, the same
Okay.....
A few minutes later, I still waited. It was only five minutes past the appointed time, and I had not yet begun to fidget, which is why I was surprised when the receptionist approached me again. "They wanted you to know that they are very sorry to be running so late."
I thought to myself, Oh crap. If this is SO late, I'm in big trouble.
"They would like you to relax. And we hope you have a good experience."
Uh...So far, so good, I guess.
One, maybe two minutes passed before the receptionist returned to show me into the conference room where the interview would take place. A man and woman waited for me, smiled warmly, and the door closed.
"I've been looking over your resume," the man said. "Please explain to me why you think you're qualified for this position."
Um...
--Because your receptionist told me I was?
--Because I'm very trainable and what I lack in experience I'll make up for in my eagerness to learn?
--I'm not and I have no idea why I'm here?
I rambled a little about my VERY basic knowledge of computer on switches and then honestly repeated parts of my earlier phone chat with Ms. Genius out in the lobby.
A few minutes into the interview, it was very clear that NONE of us knew why I was there. They had nothing to do with hiring for the other position and they were most certainly not going to hire me to work with them.
As we finished, the woman shook my hand. "We'll call you by Monday to schedule a second interview."
???
Were they part of the same conversation I was?
Obviously not, because he reiterated that it was a pleasure talking to me and they would see me again sometime next week.
As I passed the reception desk, the receptionist stopped me.
"I hope you had a wonderful experience," she said. "Would you please fill out this comment card?"
So I quickly marked "excellent" in all areas. I figured, hey, if they're going to consider paying me $60,000 a year to not know what the hell I was doing, the least I could do was give them positive feedback and go in peace.
I handed the card back to the receptionist who looked it over and said, "I do hope you've had a good experience."
I had to get outside and back to my car before I caught her crazy.
The freeway entrance was less than a mile from the parking lot and before I'd hit the on ramp, my phone was ringing.
It was HER.
"They were very impressed with you and will be calling you later to set up the second interview."
Great. Thanks.
"I hope you had a great experience."
I did get a call the next day. I missed it and they left a message, but I didn't call back. No sense wasting their time. Even if they did offer pet insurance.
Do you have a job interview confession? Please share! Thanks!
I hope you had a great experience.
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is this a late april fools' joke?
ReplyDeleteWow, were they part of some cult????
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a good experience..." NUTTY!
Nuts! $60,000 might have been worth it though... My latest job interview really made me mad. They hardly asked any questions, and I knew they'd already made a decision to hire someone else. Why on earth did they waste my time and theirs?
ReplyDeleteThat is cuckoo. Honestly, I don't really have any. I have had several jobs in my life, but most of them were the first ones I interviewed for, so nothing crazy.
ReplyDeleteI would have sold it for the money until I found something I was more qualified for...but I'm pretty sure I would have punched the receptionist in the throat if I would have heard her say "I hope you had a great experience..." one more time!
ReplyDeleteHonestly---I have 3 jobs right now, and I didn't apply nor did I have an interview for any of them. The jobs came looking for me! The bus driving I've been doing for 28 years..the mail route 6 years, and the school lunch delivery about 8 years. They all fit into the day but it's like working split shifts all day long. Maybe I SHOULD go apply somewhere else so I can have that "great experience" that I obviously missed out on!
ReplyDeleteSeriously??? I don't even know how to comment on this story!
ReplyDeleteGreat story. I might have taken it. It's not like I'm really qualified for the job I have now. So I might take one that I'm equally unqualified for.
ReplyDeleteI kind of can't believe you didn't try to go for the job. Yeah, maybe you weren't qualified, but you know you could have learned it. Yes, even computer programming. The hard part is just getting a shot at it. But...then there's the whole issue of The Crazy. Maybe you made the right call.
ReplyDeleteI once applied for a job with a production company that specialized in giant inflatables - like for the Macy's Day parade, or for movie promotional stuff. Apparently in the job posting, they'd specifically asked for people to look at their website to research the company before the interview. I missed that part. I barely knew what they did. "Um....balloons, right?" But despite that misstep, things were going okay. They explained the job and it was very demanding and involved (and required travel!), but sounded so glamorous and fun.....and then they told me how it paid $20K a year and had no medical benefits. You have got to be kidding me. I may or may not have laughed in the interviewers face at that point.
It was not a good experience.
Just came over via SITS and I'm loving your blog! (I had a great experience)
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I've ever had a horrible interview where I was the interviewee, but I've interviewED a lot of kooky people. For an admin job, a guy started talking about different models of helicopters. He even drew diagrams on the white board behind me.
ReplyDeleteIf you had gone back for that second interview, you probably would have gotten the job!
ReplyDeleteMy worst/weirdest interview I was half an hour late for thanks to getting lost on the way over. The interview was held in a super messy, super stuffy office in whispering tones because the people I was replacing (though they were leaving of their own accord) were in the next room and then the husband of the woman I interviewed with dropped in and asked me a series of bizarre questions. I was offered the job on the spot, and like a fool (hey, I was desperate) I took it.
Once I sent my full manuscript to an agent and then realized I'd left a query addressed to another agent at the end of the MS. She rejected me.
ReplyDeleteI think she needs to say "I hope you had a great experience" one more time! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is bizarre. It's almost like they were hired to do the interview process, and they would get paid more if you said you "had a good experience." Very strange.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any good interview stories that I can think of, but my ex-husband sat through an entire interview with his fly open once. He was wearing a nice new suit and everything.