Thursday, April 8, 2010

Relationship Status: Happy

Some of you might have noticed that I'm sort of into April Fool's Day.

Honestly, if I could find a way to make money at practical jokes, I'd be all over it.

(I mean, in a market that hasn't already been cornered by Dick Clark, Jamie Kennedy, and that whole Candid Camera troupe, of course.)

Last Thursday, in honor of the Big Day, I thought it would be fun to switch my Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship" and then sit back and watch everyone try to find out the identity of my sudden new beau.

Some people knew right away that it was a joke.

(Because, apparently, my being in a relationship was just too farfetched to be believed.)

(Jerks.)

Others, however, were super excited and wanted details.

(Those are the ones that are still my friends.)

When I switched my status back to "single" early Friday morning, the action was met with all manner of disappointment.

The most common reaction was disappointment because they had been SO happy for me.

A few were REALLY disappointed.

Thinking about it throughout a good portion of Friday, though, I had an epiphany.

Seriously. Lightning struck my brain.

(Bonus points if you know what movie that's from.)

(And by "bonus points" I really just mean "you'll go up a notch on my Coolness Meter.")

Anyway, back to my brain.

So, I had an epiphany. An "a-ha" moment, if you will. After seeing the various reactions to my revelation, I was surprised by my own feeling. I didn't feel guilty for tricking anyone, and I didn't feel gratitude for their wishes that I might have finally found someone. I didn't feel bad when more than one person said, "I was all ready to be happy for you!"

Instead, I realized something kind of surprising.

They all SHOULD be happy for me.

Because, for the first time in a long time, maybe in pretty much my entire adult life, I was actually HAPPY to NOT be in a relationship.

Don't get me wrong. I still love the idea of being with someone. Of having an automatic Plus One for the weddings I'm facing this summer. Of not being the only single sibling at my mom's family gatherings. And yes, I'd really like to have the husband and the kids and stuff. Because, as George Clooney so poignantly stated in Up in the Air, "Life's better with company."

BUT.

I'm pretty darn pleased with the way things are now. I don't NEED someone. I don't WANT anyone right now. At least, not anyone in particular. I'm busy. I have a lot going on. And I'm just not in the mood to give up any of my hobbies and activities and preoccupations.


Maybe life IS better with company, but right now, I'm really digging this whole "flying solo" thing.

Photobucket
Posted by Karen Peterson
This post is: 
at 12:00 AM
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38 comments:

  1. I'm happy for you Karen! I felt the exact same way and then my husband came along and ruined it all for me. ;-)
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  2. That's funny! I love what you did on Facebook.
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  3. Great prank!

    Good for you!! I think it's awesome that you are in love with YOU right now! Life is good!
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  4. I think this is great. I wish more people were happy with where they were in life. And relationships don't always equal happiness.
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  5. That's what I was saying after my little copy cat prank....can't they just be happy for me as I am? why are they only happy for me now that I'm "in a relationship?" My social life suddenly became a little more exciting because everyone wanted to get together with me and get in on the gossip...but when they discovered it was a prank, I went back to being a "nobody with nothing to offer" for a social outting. Yes, people I know are that shallow! Which makes me want to rebel more in my singleness and scream TAKE ME AS I AM! Or Go Away!

    I'm happy you're happy!
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  6. Andit is in this point of your life when you are happy being single that mr. right will waltz in lol.. God just works like that...
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  7. I think that is so awesome. So many women (myself included) have never succeeded at being comfy when we're alone. I sometimes wonder if I were single again if I would do better at enjoying 'just me' status and find contentment. I seriously hope that I would be. I'm turning 36 tomorrow and if there's one thing I can't stand its an overly needy middle-aged woman. I'm not calling myself middle-aged just yet, but I would love to call myself comfortable in my own skin when it is truly unaccompanied by a man. Kudos to you, my dear!
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  8. You are a tricky one! That's funny. I wouldn't give up my husband and kids for anything, but there are times when I wish that I would have waited so I could enjoy my solo time. I was young and never had the opportunity to do all the things I'd like to. I'm so glad you are enjoying your time. You'll be glad you did.
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  9. I am very happy for your happiness! I think life is better with SMILES too!
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  10. That makes me happy for you. After watching so many women define themselves and their ability to be happy purely by their relationships, it's wonderful to see women be happy purely for being themselves.

    And, yes, I'm aware that this may not mean anything, coming from a girl in a relationship. :)
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  11. Good for you. I don't know a lot of women who can honestly say that. And I do believe you!
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  12. I LOVE that prank you did on Facebook! I have to remember to do that next year!!!!

    I'm with you. I don't feel like I need somebody or want somebody right now. I'm happy where I'm at. It's a good place to be in isn't it?
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  13. I think it's a glorious thing to be at a place in your life where you are truly content. I'm happy you're there!
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  14. Have you watched The Marriage Ref? Being part of a couple isn't always so glamorous.
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  15. I know...what's up with the people saying they were so ready to be happy for you? What, are they sad because you haven't found Mr Right? Happiness does not equal having someone in your life.

    You're obviously very happy with the way things are...and why shouldn't you be? Sounds like you have the perfect life full of friends, family and fun!
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  16. I'm happy that you're happy with your life.
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  17. Ok, I was one of your friends that knew right away that you were joking. But, in my defense, you would've texted or called me had you met someone new.

    I really like this post. Just a few days ago Dustin and I both said we missed going to school and being single. I think about our days as roomies and my time spent at Weber with such fondness. Would I trade my life and go back? No way. Am I happy now. Heck yes. Do I sometimes envy you and your singleness? Definitely.
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  18. Well, I am very happy for you now. And this whole post reminded me of the Sex and the City episode where Carrie talks about getting invited to wedding showers, baby showers, etc... and finally goes and registers herself for shoes!

    I was happily single for a while, after many years of being miserably married, so I hear ya, loud and clear!
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  19. Great Post! Great writing skills, and honestly, great healthy attitude. And it is one of those things that they say...just when you are happy about being alone...ping.
    It happened to me, and I remember being oddly annoyed about it! I still joke to my husband... just when I was finally all sorted out.
    Here’s the big secret though...
    When you get "the one”... LIFE IS NOT OVER! Not like they would have you believe!
    You realise that 'that part' is just done, that part that has been all consuming thanks to the pressures of society, books, movies and your adolescent insecurities. But when its done, you have to turn around and face a whole new world of all the other stuff you have still yet to figure out.
    I thought about this the other day with a friend of mine who was 'getting over' someone, and I realised that some days I wish that was all that was 'all consuming' to me. Because when you are not in a relationship, or rather not married, everyone in the world is totally fine with that being your main pursuit. You’re not expected to have the world’s best career or have found enlightenment yet etc.
    But once you have married... the world goes...Ok... time to grown up and get on with everything, start your plans, have your kids, get moving...get...settled.
    and I’m like...
    I don’t WANNA... I’m still on the road of who I am becoming as a whole person, not just a wife or anything else.

    So yeah, turns out, grass, greener and all that.
    So keep enjoying what you have, that’s all we are all supposed to do in this life. travel travel travel, that’s my only advice.

    Love ND
    PS Stoped in from SITS.

    Oh and I have to say:
    "Well, after this I shall think of nothing of falling down stairs".
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  20. I really love this post. I think it's always interesting to see how people respond to someone being single and "older" in the LDS church.

    I'm glad you are happy. Everyone should be happy attached or not!
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  21. I think a happy single life is much better that an unsatisfied attached life. Plus, I believe that you can't be happy with with someone else until you're happy with yourself. And I'm happy that you're happy!

    PS- Was it an epiphany or an apostrophe? :)
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  22. I suppose there are perks to either side. Being single entails freedom. Being in a relationship entails emotional security. It's great that you're secure enough with yourself that you don't let it bother you. I can't say I was ever comfortable with myself so I always sought out relationships.
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  23. If they noticed at all thats good. I could change mine to Married and I bet no one would notice.

    Have fun Karen. Do a dance. Cheering you on and crossing my fingers for you here.
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  24. Haven't popped in an awhile! Good for you for having such confidence in yourself!
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  25. Visiting from SITS

    Congrats on being in a happy place :) And good prank. If I was still on Facebook I would have loved to switch from Married to single or to "it's complicated" or something. That would have been FUNNY!
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  26. I say that your self assurance shouldnt come from another person anyway..good for you for being so happy, as you should be!

    Stopping over from SITS!

    Mindy~
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  27. I think that speaks volumes, when a person doesn't feel the need to be in a relationship all the time. Enjoy your time alone:)

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha
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  28. I didn't get married until I was 32 because I didn't want. One of the greatest truths about dating and love is that it's far better to be alone and happy than miserable with someone else. I just wasn't willing to compromise. Hold out until together and happy happens. It's totally worth it.
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  29. Amen Sista! (she stands up and cheers!)
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  30. there are days when i wish i wasnt married so i can do all of the things i used to do when i was single. when i could just bum around at starbucks with a book in hand and people watch. drag my friends to the mall or go out of town. heck, maybe out of the country...

    enjoy your alone time. we all need it, whether we're in a relationship or not.

    shuttling in from SITS :)
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  31. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for coming by on my SITS day and following! I'm returning the favor!

    And you have a great attitude.

    I loved being single and living on my own. I also love being married with children. Make the best of here and now because you never know what tomorrow holds!
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  32. That is quite an A-Ha moment! Good for you for figuring this out. And "I'm very happy for you!"
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  33. I can just imagine what would happen if I changed my FB status! Not sure my hubby would find it funny - LOL! But I'll give it some thought!! Thanks for visiting my Balance Beam!!
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  34. good for you!
    i remember finally getting to that point...where i was truly happy being single. then all hell broke loose in our small group with affairs and other stuff...and i thought that was why--because i truly never ever wanted to date again, much less be married.
    however, i've been healed of all that, and i've been given the gift of love with an amazing guy.
    i truly think we have to be in a place where we are happy with ourselves to ever truly appreciate what relationship is all about.
    :)
    (whew, that was a long comment!)
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  35. Well swee'pea, if you are happy in your life then that is how it should be. Nothin' wrong with being single and if and when u think about having a relationship well, that's okay too. What's important is what YOU want. Always. Hugs!
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  36. Once I have discovered that I am great on my own, I became great a partner.

    I developed a speech about being single is not a death sentence, how I would rather fabulously happily single then unhappy in relationship just because I am afraid to be alone. Now my friends know to be happy for me whenever I am happily single.
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  37. Kudos to you for being so self-aware and happy with where you are in life! I was exactly where you are right now when I stumbled on my husband. I didn't have to worry or wonder if I was ready for a relationship or if he was or whatever else, because no matter what, I was happy. If he hadn't have added to my life the way he did, I would've been fine seeing him go.

    I didn't get married until I was 30, because I wanted to spend time figuring out me, enjoying who I was on my own by myself, and figuring out what I wanted in a forever mate. Best decision I ever made was getting to know myself before getting to know my husband. By the time he came along, I knew what I wanted and knew who I was, and my contentment with my life and myself made me fully appreciate all that he brought into my life.
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  38. It's always better to be happy as you are - and I'm happy for you, even if your Facebook friends aren't!! ;)
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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias

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