Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Confession Wednesday: Getting Old
We've all been there.
That moment when you suddenly realize you're not as young as you used to be.
Even before the young age of 33, I was quite certain I'd already had that moment. I mean, I notice the generation gap every time I talk to my teenage Job's Daughters about things I did when I was "their age." I can't even tell you how many times I've uttered the words, "I feel so old!" when learning of yet another band/movie/television show/candy that my high school sister has never heard of.
I was wrong.
So very, very wrong.
I had NO idea what it meant to be getting older.
Until recently.
I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my best good friend Candace and three 13-year-olds (!): Candace's kid and two friends. One of which was The Boyfriend.
(Okay, the fact that I have friends whose kids are teenagers with boyfriends is NOT the point of this feeling old post, but it just occurred to me right when I was writing this. And now I feel even older.)
Where was I?
(See? Even my memory is starting to go...)
Oh, yes. Knott's Berry Farm. It's this amusement park with crazy roller coasters and stuff. I used to go with Candace a lot WAY back when we were teenagers. You know? Back when the dinosaurs on the Dinosaur Ride were real.
(I know. The Dinosaur Ride is gone now. Which means I used to go back before the dinosaurs were extinct.)
Anyway, Knott's Berry Farm is NOT Disneyland. Every ride is either lame or determined to kill you.
For instance:
That's Xcelerator. You see that big loop thing? It's 205 in the air. And you get to the top of that after being shot out of the station at 82 mph. I don't even usually DRIVE 82 mph. Oh, and not only do you go 205 feet into the air, you go STRAIGHT UP, on the TOP. It's not a loop. You're on the TOP. So, for a second or two, you can't see anything. At all. And then, if that's not enough, you go 205 feet STRAIGHT DOWN. And then go through a few twists and turns and finally arrive back at the station. Hopefully, in one piece.
(Thankfully, I didn't hear about the accident until AFTER I went on this thing.)
We also checked out the Boomerang, which goes through two loops and two corkscrews, and then does it all backward. And we did the Silver Bullet, a pretty awesome suspended coaster that quickly became my favorite. In fact, I think it's the only ride Candace managed to get me on twice.
I love roller coasters. I was always pretty fearless as a kid. I would go on all sorts of crazy rides. Knott's Berry Farm, Magic Mountain, carnivals where there always seemed to be a screw or two loose. Didn't matter. I'd try out anything.
But something happened in the fifteen years since my last trip to the second happiest place in Orange County.
I became conscious of my mortality.
You can DIE on these rides. Like, people actually HAVE. And it's not like I'm going to live forever. It's actually possible for ME to DIE on a roller coaster.
So, some rides weren't as fun once I had visions of detaching seat belts and runaway shoulder harnesses and snapped cables dancing through my head.
But that wasn't the worst part.
The worst was that I spent the day on roller coasters. Crazy roller coasters that go upside down and shoot you into outer space and dowse you with gallons of water.
And after disembarking from nearly every ride, I was dizzy, stumbling around, not quite sure of my footing.
And then I got nauseous. Just once. But I actually, literally thought I was going to throw up.
I covered my mouth with my hand because of the inevitable reacquaintance with my breakfast.
So. Which death-defying physics experiment left me wishing for a barf bag?
The Dragon Swing.
And no. It's not the kind that goes upside down.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stock up on Aspercream and Depends.
Please tell me I'm not the only one! When did you first realize you are getting older? Link up and share!
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The last time I went on a roller coaster I got nauseous too and I have never fought so hard not to throw up as I did then. Just like you, it was the moment I knew I had crossed over. I'm so dang old.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely, strongly dislike roller coasters...makes me an anxious nervous wreck! I think I felt old when I passed a kidney stone at 29. I remember thinking, this is what happens to old people!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHubster said the exact same thing last time we went to an amusement park...he could tell he was getting old because all the rides gave him a headache and made him sick. As for me, I'm still in complete denial that I'm getting older.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to get on a roller coaster at all. So you are way more young and hip than me. Feel better?
ReplyDeleteSo funny. I can't do loops anymore. It hit me last year. There's a ride in SLC at Lagoon that does two loops in a row, and I almost passed out, and got sick.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the loop on the big roller coaster, I almost didn't go, but Nikol convinced me. It wasn't too bad, but it did make me a little sick.
I may have to rethink my plan to go to Cedar Point next month....I hope I never have a problem with roller coasters! That will be a sad day!
ReplyDeleteI may have to rethink my plan to go to Cedar Point next month....I hope I never have a problem with roller coasters! That will be a sad day!
ReplyDeleteI hate myself for saying this, but...I'm too old to go on The Matterhorn anymore. It's just too jerky and I feel like my spine might actually snap in half. And does the music on Space Mountain have to be so LOUD? See? Too old.
ReplyDeleteNow if you'll excuse me, I have to yell at some kids to get off my lawn.
I know just what you mean about that Dragon swing! Happened to me last year - give me a coaster any day... you know, now that I think about it - normal swings aren't too good either.
ReplyDeleteIck! Old sucks!
I love rollercoasters! I haven't been to Knotts Berry Farm in SO long. I'll need to check it out the next time I'm in Disneyland.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll participate in Confessions Wednesday today. :)
Haha! I love rollercoasters, but it's been 3 years since I've been on one
ReplyDeleteI've always been a theme park junkie, but my husband ruined that for me when in Santa Cruz. We were on that chair lift thing and he started pointing out all of the mechanical problems and missing screws... it think it messed with my psyche!! But I am due for a trip to Magic Mountain here soon - I hope this will pass...
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing I ever rode was something called the Spider, and it was at some little county fair. It looked harmless enough, but I really was ill after. I was with friends, and we ALL were sick. Like we went home very shortly after.
ReplyDeleteI used to love rides like that. Not anymore!
In thinking about this topic, I have to say I'm not sure I ever felt "young." I think I've always felt old, so I've never really had that moment of feeling old.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I was on a rollercoaster was so much fun for me. I had a great time and then went home to a much needed night of sleep.
ReplyDeleteWhile I was sleeping I dreamed I was on a rollercoaster, then I woke up nauseous and through up for hours.
I haven't been on a rollercoaster since!
I haven't ridden a real roller coaster since I was 22. That day I had an inner ear infection and came off feeling so dizzy I thought I would fall over.
ReplyDeleteAdvancing age hits me at strange times. I feel it most when I try to use something with buttons on it.
Yah well I KNOW I'm really getting old when you say "knotts berry farm" and all I can think of are biscuits and boysenberry jam, not roller coasters and snoopy. I remember my mom going on and on about their biscuits and chicken and I would roll my eyes like that was the lamest reason in the world to go to KBF.
ReplyDeletesigh.
but yah. BISCUITS!!!!
Oh. I gave up these rides years ago. They are just hideous!!!
ReplyDeleteAnything high up in the air, so not my thing. If God wanted me to do the flying thing,...
ReplyDeleteI realized I was very old when I had to babysit my 11-year old niece(that should have been a dead giveaway) and she wanted to watch Hannah Montana (sp? I don't care) and I had no clue who this Hannah person was.
My niece told me: Auntie, you are so old!
Yeah, she told me good!
I can do Xcelerator and Silver Bullet type rides all day long. The ones that terrify me are the little rinky dink roller coasters at county fairs because I'm sure, SURE, that they will go flying off the tracks. Ooooh, I hate them.
ReplyDelete