Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Fading
As I spoke briefly about the adventure that was only a month ago, I realized that it felt, in some ways, as though it were all a dream. The edges of my memory have blurred just a bit. The sound of certain voices have vanished from my mind as though they were never there to start with.
I know it all happened. Some parts of it remain vivid. I can still feel the sting in my arms as I hoisted more and more rocks. The involuntary grimace as I swung another bucket uphill to weary but waiting hands. The bone chilling cold that could only be cured by sitting in a hotel room with the heat cranked to 30 C.
(That's about 88 F if you aren't into quick conversions.)
(And I totally just did that conversion in my head. Because I'm awesome. And humble.)
It's kind of funny how it happens so easily. Without even noticing it.
You're in the middle of an experience you think will never end. Or you wish would never end.
One you know you'll never forget.
But then, it does end and life goes back to normal, or, at least, moves on. And, little by little, you forget.
I know I went to Paraguay. I remember the smell. I remember the exhaustion. I remember the friendships and the people and a desperate wish to communicate in their language.
But the memories are fuzzy. Just a little.
As though it were all a dream.
I worry that I might forget the experiences and the lessons and why I even journeyed to the middle of nowhere in the first place. I am looking for a way to remember.
And I'm open to suggestions.
It's only been a month, and right now, it feels like it's been years.
Tomorrow's Confession Wednesday Topic:
Epic Trips and Falls
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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."
~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias