Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fading

Over the weekend, I was talking to someone about my recent trip to South America.

As I spoke briefly about the adventure that was only a month ago, I realized that it felt, in some ways, as though it were all a dream. The edges of my memory have blurred just a bit. The sound of certain voices have vanished from my mind as though they were never there to start with.

I know it all happened. Some parts of it remain vivid. I can still feel the sting in my arms as I hoisted more and more rocks. The involuntary grimace as I swung another bucket uphill to weary but waiting hands. The bone chilling cold that could only be cured by sitting in a hotel room with the heat cranked to 30 C.

(That's about 88 F if you aren't into quick conversions.)

(And I totally just did that conversion in my head. Because I'm awesome. And humble.)

It's kind of funny how it happens so easily. Without even noticing it.

You're in the middle of an experience you think will never end. Or you wish would never end.

One you know you'll never forget.

But then, it does end and life goes back to normal, or, at least, moves on. And, little by little, you forget.

I know I went to Paraguay. I remember the smell. I remember the exhaustion. I remember the friendships and the people and a desperate wish to communicate in their language.

But the memories are fuzzy. Just a little.

As though it were all a dream.

I worry that I might forget the experiences and the lessons and why I even journeyed to the middle of nowhere in the first place. I am looking for a way to remember.

And I'm open to suggestions.

It's only been a month, and right now, it feels like it's been years.


Tomorrow's Confession Wednesday Topic:
Epic Trips and Falls

Photobucket

14 comments:

  1. I started my blog because I'd just returned from an awesome trip to MN and wanted to remember every detail. I just looked and it'll be 2 years ago, September 25th. I can't believe it was less than 2 years ago! So much has happened to me just in the last year.

    I wish I'd thought of blogging after I returned from my Alaskan cruise in 2004. I remember a lot, but it would be nice to remember the little things.
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  2. Time is weird like that.

    It feels like Christmas was last month and it feels like the election 2 weeks ago was 2 months ago and who knows what went where.

    Anyway, I have no suggestions on helping you remember. If anything, I've probably just confused you more with my ramblings.
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  3. I agree with JJ, blogging or journaling about your experiences is a great way to recall the details. I also like to take pictures when I travel and I'm religious about getting them printed and putting them in a photo album. Looking back on photos of past events always brings the memories flooding back. Does rereading your blog posts about the trip help at all?
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  4. You wrote about it. Take words and pictures and do a photo book to memorialize the trip.
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  5. This is why we blog. It's hard for me to remember things that happened last year, and even last month. I blog, not only to share my thoughts, but to archive the memories I know will slip away otherwise.
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  6. weird, I was just thinking about this as I was starting to blog about my weekend trip. I was there, but it seems like it's been more than a couple days ago. Once again, we're the same. I guess that's why I journal and blog, to remember. I guess it's also a sign of old age. yikes!
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  7. I agree about the blogging/journaling. I'm not super great with long term memories, so that helps.
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  8. pictures are worth a thousand words. I also kept a detailed journal and am so glad I did.
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  9. SO true. Even though yours was a life-changing experience, I felt that way about England when I returned. Going to another country just messes with your sense of reality! For a time, it feels like you've entered an alternate universe and then you return home and look at everything differently...for a while. But gradually, everything goes back to normal and it seems like a dream.
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  10. Journal as you remember things now. I had a significant experience in my life (somewhat similiar to yours, but more long term and not as service-oriented), and when I read my journal from that time, it's actually kind of boring. But when I read my journals from how I thought about it later on, that's where the magic is :)

    It's weird how such significant things become more dream-like, but yet they will continue to impact you.
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  11. Wow, Paraguay!

    Journaling, as others have suggested, helps.

    I usually blog about my trips, my trip to Tokyo, or Shanghai is more or less documented...but they were short trips, less than a week.

    A friend of mine who travelled around India wrote obsessive accounts each day to her family and friends, took hundreds of pictures, and I think remembers a lot more.

    To me I feel journaling is not merely helpful cos you can look it up later, but the mere fact of recording the event gives your brain clues to its importance, and you possibly remember better.
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  12. I don't know how you can cling to memories other than to write it down or take a picture. That hazy dream feel is pretty cool too.
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  13. I like to try to write about it in a journal as though I was writing a novel or discribing it to someone else. That way I write down every little detail so that I can read it and remember it five or ten years from now.
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  14. I totally get that fading feeling. We spent 2 months in Aruba last year and it feels surreal to talk about it now. Did it happen? Or was it just a dream?

    Blog it. Journal it. Take lots and lots of pictures. That is the only way to preserve the memories.
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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias