Sunday, January 15, 2012
The 69th Annual Golden Globes Play-by-Play
I also totally missed the beginning of the Golden Globes because I thought they were starting at 6. So sorry about the beginning.
But honestly, did I really miss the opening monologue from Ricky Gervais?
Anyway, on with the show!
5:12--Christoper Plummer is accepting an award, so he must have won Best Actor in a?? I can't remember what he's nominated for! Oh, right. Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture. He's saying something sweet about his wife of 43 years.
(After I went back and watched the beginning of the show again, I discovered that Johnny Depp was the first presenter introducing the clip for Hugo.Yay!)
5:14--Elle MacPherson and Ashton Kutcher present the award for Best Actress in a Television Comedy or Musical. And the winner is:
5:15--Laura Dern from
5:20--Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore came to the stage to announce something. Julianne freezes. Apparently the teleprompter is stuck. Oops! And they introduce Miss Golden Globe,
5:21--And the nominees for best Mini-Series or TV Movie are introduced. I've heard way too much about Downton Abbey for it not to win...
5:22--And the winner is: Downton Abbey! Okay, I will start watching it. I promise.
5:23--And the winner for Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie is also presented by Rob and Julianne. Why are they doing these two together? Why not actor and actress? Weird...
5:24--Kate Winslet wins for Mildred Pierce. I love Kate!
5:27--Frieda Pinto introduces a clip from Midnight in Paris. I can't see her whole dress, but the color looks gorgeous.
5:31--Jeremy Irons escorts the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press onto the stage. Nope, I'm not even going to try to spell her name. They talk about what the Hollywood Foreign Press is doing when they're not loving weird movies and badmouthing American actors.
5:34--Jake Gyllenhaal introduces a clip for My Week With Marilyn.
5:35--Ricky Gervais. Ugh. I *almost* forgot he was here. He says they're 5 minutes over and people need to wrap up the speeches.
5:36--Melissa McCarthy and Paula Patton present Best Actor in a Television Drama.
5:37--And the Golden Globe goes to: Kelsey Grammer for Boss. I'm really not surprised. Kelsey Grammer could stand on his head for an hour and the Hollywood Foreign Press would give him an award. His speech is good and he thanks his wife-of-the-moment.
5:38--And Melissa and Paula present Best Television Drama.
5:39--The winner is...Homeland. It's not what I predicted, but it makes total sense. It was on after Dexter this fall, but I never watched it. Guess I'll start now.
5:43--So there's a commercial on for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. For awhile, the more commercials I saw, the more I kind of wanted to see it. Now, they're having the opposite effect...
5:45--Jimmy Fallon and Adam Levine are here to present the music awards. Jimmy asked Adam, "Which specific moves do you like from Jagger? Surely not ALL of them."
5:46--Best Original Score for a Movie..Total reminds me that I found this Film Score channel on Pandora that I LOVE. Anyway, the winner is: Ludovic Bource for The Artist! I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE!
5:47--Wow. That is one heck of a strong French accent. He should just give the speech in French. I'll translate. He's kind of adorable.
5:48--I can't believe "Are You a Man or a Muppet?" isn't nominated. But the winner for Best Original Song is "Masterpiece" from W.E.? What is this movie?
5:51--Wow. It's been a LONG time since I've seen Madonna anywhere.
5:52--Some woman from Turkey is now talking. I totally missed her name. And the point. Something about World Peace.
5:56--They're showing a commercial for Smash, which starts in a couple of weeks. Even if it's terrible, I'm probably going to watch it.
5:57--Kathrine McPhee and Debra Messing (who are starring together in Smash) present Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie.
5:58--And the winner is Idris Elba for Luther.
5:59--Idris Elba is pretty hot. And I totally didn't know he had an accent. Hmmm...
6:00--Eek! It's Brad Pitt! (Yes, I still heart him so much. He's pretty.) Introducing a clip from The Ides of March. I need to see this. And not just for Ryan Gosling.
6:01--Kate Beckinsale and Seth Rogen. Seth just said something funny but I don't want those Google hits, so I'm not repeating it...Let's just say Kate is blushing.
6:02--Presenting Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical. The winner is Michelle Williams from My Week With Marilyn. She does look amazing in that movie.
6:03--I really dig her short hair. She says a very sweet thanks to her little girl.
6:07--Sarah Michelle Gellar and Piper Perabo (the tops of their dresses look weird...) present Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie.
6:09--The Golden Globe goes to Peter Dinklage for A Game of Thrones. Can I be honest that I'm kind of glad? I thought it would be Eric Stonestreet (who I LOVE) but I like seeing them mix it up a little.
6:10--Peter tells a funny story about his mom telling him to have fun, but that Guy Pierce is going to win. He thanks his mom for keeping him humble.
6:11--Oh yeah, Ricky Gervais. Blah. You know, I'm realizing that this show really doesn't need a host.
6:12--George Clooney has a cane? Oh, haha, it's Brad Pitt's. He introduces Moneyball. Aw, how cute. Brad introduced his movie and now he's introducing Brad's. Those two have one of my favorite Bromances ever.
6:13--Channing Tatum and Jessica Alba introduce the nominees for Best Animated Feature Film. It's an odd category this year.
6:14--The winner is The Adventures of Tintin. Which I've heard great things about. But, like it wouldn't be good when it was directed by Steven Freaking Spielberg!
6:16--Spielberg makes a joke that people say he and Peter Jackson could make a movie about the phone book and people would see it. Um, that's pretty much true.
6:21--Ewan McGregor. What more can I say? He introduces the clip from 50/50.
6:22--Clive Owen (gag) and Nicole Kidman introduce the nominees for Best Screenplay.
6:23--And the winner is...Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris. He cannot be here tonight, so Nicole says, "Come and get it, Woody." Which wouldn't sound as weird if it wasn't Woody Allen...
6:23--Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy sing this funny little bit about it being an honor to be nominated. Those two are adorable together. They should get married or something. (Yes, that was a joke.)
6:24--And the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie goes to Jessica Lange for American Horror Story. Another show I've been meaning to watch. But I'm kinda scared.
6:25--Jessica Lange has ALWAYS seemed stoned to me. Always. Every time I've ever heard that woman open her mouth, I swear she's on drugs.
6:26--It's another commercial break. There sure are a lot of these...
6:31--Ricky Gervais announces the Queen of Pop ("Not you, Elton, sit down."), Madonna.
6:32--Madonna says, "If I'm still just like a virgin, Ricky, why don't you come over here and do something about it? I haven't kissed a girl in a few years. On TV."
6:33--Madonna is presenting the award for Best Foreign Language Film. Which goes to Iran's A Separation.
6:34--Iran's films win a lot of these awards and I don't think I've ever seen a single one of them. I should.
6:35--Six time Golden Globe winner Dustin Hoffman says, "Without the encouragement of my wife and my agent, I would not be here announcing the nominations and I want to thank them." (Appreciative laugh.)
6:36--The winner for Best Actress in a TV Drama goes to Claire Danes for Homeland. Hmm...Not looking so good for Boardwalk Empire tonight...
6:36--Claire says she first won this award at age 15 and when she left the stage, she was horrified because she'd forgotten to thank her parents. So she does now. And thanks her husband, Hugh Dancy.
6:38--And it's time for another commercial break.
6:42--Emily Blunt introduces the clip for Bridesmaids. Which I really did enjoy, but I think is much funnier in clip form. Melissa McCarthy looks slightly horrified as she watches herself on the screen.
6:44--Jane Lynch and Tina Fey present Best Actor in a TV Series Comedy or Musical.
6:45--The Golden Globe goes to Matt LeBlanc for Episodes. It's funny how he is so completely different from Joey Tribiani. And when did his hair turn grey?
6:47--Ooh, it's Bradley Cooper. Presenting Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture.
6:48--And the winner is: OCTAVIA SPENCER!!! Wahoo!!
6:49--She looks lovely. And kind of speechless. I love her. ("I'm trembling here. I'm gonna fall off of these high-heeled shoes.") I am so happy for her. She seriously deserved this award. She was fantastic in The Help.
6:54--Reese Witherspoon. Wait. I thought before the commercial break they said they would be coming right back for the Cecil B. DeMille award. Guess not. Anyway, Reese is introducing the clip for The Descendants. Which looks amazing.
6:55--Okay, NOW Sidney Poitier introduces the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Morgan Freeman. Remind me to tell my Sidney Poitier story sometime. His speech is very nice as he calls Morgan Freeman a Prince. "Welcome aboard, Mr. Freeman. May your journey be long and may your characters continue to multiply."
6:58--Helen Mirren comes to the stage and says, "I'm really sorry, but after Sidney I'm going to lower the tone a bit. Because I've had a few glasses of wine." And then she talks about how she's only been in one movie with Morgan Freeman ever. "So let's enjoy watching clips from many of the movies of Mr. Freeman. Most of which I'm not in."
7:02--They're still showing clips, but I totally laughed my butt off about him singing, "I love to take a bath in a casket." Dressed as a vampire. Taking a bath. In a casket.
7:03--And Morgan Freeman comes to the stage to give his acceptance speech. "I can't tell you how much it means to me to be up here, being touted by a woman I love so much. I enjoyed working with you on Red so much. But I learned one thing. Watching you handle a gun makes me realize I never want to piss you off."
7:06--He says, "It's been said that if you find what you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life. So over the past 45 years, I haven't had to work a day. Haha!"
7:11--Robert Downey, Jr. Thankfully not introduced by Ricky Gervais after what happened last time...
7:12--Introducing the clip for The Artist. I need to see this so bad. So bad.
7:13--Angelina Jolie looks like she was bitten by a vampire and her neck bled on the top of her dress.
7:14--Presenting the award for Best Director of a Motion Picture. And the winner is Martin Scorcese for Hugo. Wow. This is a surprise.
7:15--I think he might be a little surprised, too. He says his wife brought a book to him two years ago and said, "Here. Why don't you make a film that our daughter can see for once."
7:16--Ugh. Ricky Gervais again. He's gushing about Selma Hayek and Antonio Banderas. "They're probably very interesting. But I'm not sure because I can't--(my TV cut out right there.)"
7:17--Antonio says, "Ricky, let me clear it up for you," and starts ranting in Spanish. It's kind of hot.
7:18--And the winner for Best TV Series Comedy or Musical is...Modern Family.
(Dear Hollywood Foreign Press: I know I give you a hard time and all, but THANK YOU for recognizing that Glee isn't all that awesome.)
7:19--Sofia Vergara accepts the award in Spanish and Steve Levitan accepts in English. It's pretty hilarious. Sorry you missed it.
7:23--Michelle Pfeiffer introduces the clip for Warhorse. Which I want to see, but I have such a hard time with animal movies. Like, ridiculously hard time. Except for movies where the animals talk. Like Babe. I can watch those.
7:25--Wow. Steven Spielberg was emotional watching the clip from his own movie. I don't know if I can handle it.
7:26--Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Beal present Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical. And the Golden Globe goes to Jean Dujardin for The Artist. He thanks someone (I missed who) for telling him he couldn't be an actor because he got the chance to prove him wrong.
7:32--Queen Latifah gets to introduce the clip from The Help. I love this movie. So much. I hope it wins.
7:33--Ricky Gervais says, "Our next producer is British, like me. But unlike me, he's won an Oscar. Oh good for him. But what you don't know about him is that he's racist. Really racist. And I've seen him punch a blind kitten. So please welcome the evil Colin Firth."
7:34--Colin is presenting Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama. From the applause, I *think* I know who's got this one...
7:35--Guess not. Seriously? I love Meryl Streep and want to see The Iron Lady, but did anyone SEE Viola Davis in The Help??
7:36--I do love Meryl. But now I'm really annoyed. And kind of mad.
7:39--Her speech is sweet and kind of funny, but I'm mad. This was supposed to be Viola's night.
7:40--And now they follow it up with Jane Fonda. I hate Jane Fonda. Ick. And I really don't get why she's presenting the award for Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical.
7:41--And the winner is: The Artist.
7:42--This speech is making me want to see the movie even more than I've already been dying to for the last three months.
7:44--I'm still annoyed about Meryl Streep. I really need to get over this.
7:47--Ricky Gervais's joke about Natalie Portman not being nominated because she took time out to have a baby this year? Pretty lame.
7:48--Natalie is presenting Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama. The winner is George Clooney for The Descendants.
7:49--George is talking a lot about Brad Pitt. And then he told a naughty joke about Michael Fassbender playing golf with his hands behind his back. Funny!
7:50--I think that was pretty much the shortest speech of the night.
7:55--Harrison Ford! Best Motion Picture Drama goes to...
7:56--The Descendants! Writer/Director/Producer Alexander Payne (Sideways) accepts the award. For such a talented guy, he's kind of dorky and a little boring. But seriously talented. Oh, wait. He's not the one speaking. Oops!
7:57--Okay, now Alexander Payne is speaking. He's much less dorky and not boring.
7:58--Ricky Gervais thanks everyone for watching and that's the show!
This was sort of a strange year. I haven't seen most of the movies or television shows that were nominated, so I didn't feel as invested tonight. And I'm still mad about Viola Davis losing to Meryl Streep. But, oh well. The Academy will get it right next month.
Also, the Golden Globes repeat at 8pm here on the west coast. I decided to watch Ricky Gervais's monologue. He's basically making fun of the Golden Globes. He should. They're stupid for bringing him back. Although his joke about Eddie Murphy, "When the man who says yes to Norbert says no to the Oscars, you know you're in trouble."
He says, "The Hollywood Foreign Press says if I insult any of you, or offend any of you or do any of the kind, they will bring me back next year."
Yeah, because they're dumb.
Okay, his opening monologue is actually kind of funny. I'm laughing in spite of myself. But I still don't like him.
So that's the show for tonight. I hope you enjoyed! If you watched it, what were some of your favorite moments?
And be sure to click over to Handbags and Handguns for her always fabulous run down of all the year's fashion. You don't want to miss it!
(Oh, and I was 12/25 on my predictions this year. The Golden Globes are really hard for me to predict because I always forget that the HFP is lame.)
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Viola was robbed. Get Ricky outta here already. And Madonna's arms are sickly.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm the lone dissenter. I love Ricky. He makes me pee my pants.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing this post. I never actually watch award shows. I only care about the fashion on the red carpet. So I watched Guliana interview winners.
ReplyDeleteI would have thought Ricky would be funny.
I missed Colin Firth? I missed Colin Firth??? Grr!!! That would've made the whole thing worth watching. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI keep hearing people refer to Robert Downey, Jr. and Gervais (I can't stand him either) but I missed it. What happened last year? I thought Seth Rogan's 'something funny' was hilarious...and I got a kick out of Kate's giggles.
Madonna is too old to be flashing the girls and what's with that Frida(?) chick? Some makeup would've made her look (at least) alive.
Fun recap, I watched the show but on the DVR so I could FF most of it. I thought Ricky was a lot nicer than last year. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a Ricky Gervais fan. I thought he was funny. You will love Downtown Abbey. We just started watching it last week and we're hooked. Madonna's speech was awful. SO SELF-ABSORBED. Sofia Vergara is the hottest woman on television. Michelle Pfeiffer looked shockingly old.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen about 98% of the stuff you mentioned! Except The Help and Modern Family, both of which I think are awesome. Maybe I need to look into some of those other movies and tv shows.
ReplyDeleteI love and hate when you do these posts mostly because I always think of funny comments to say while reading but once I finish, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to comment on. So, um, yeah, something about someone...huh...yeah I got nothing.
ReplyDeleteYou have got to start watching Homeland. American Horror Story is seriously creepy, but I love it. Jessica Lange plays crazycakes brilliantly.
ReplyDeleteI watched part of it. I loved your comment about Kelsey Grammer thanking his "wife of the moment"....hahahahaha!!! Who knows who he'll be with next year, right??
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Karen, you should be paid by entertainment sites to write their rundowns—great job! I didn't watch the Golden Globes, and would rather just read your summary!
ReplyDeleteOH! I would love to see Melissa's face as she watches herself. LOL!!
ReplyDeleteI'm almost always disappointed by these things. After each one, I promise not to watch the next, and do so anyway.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I'm anxious about tomorrow's Oscar nominations.
Also, I'm with you regarding Smash! I'm going to watch no matter what happens.