Thursday, January 5, 2012
Support
The post I wrote and scheduled on Tuesday night had been published. People had read it. They had commented. The secret was out. There would be no more hiding.
I cowered in fear of that flashing green light for a minute or two before finally plucking up the courage to read the comments sitting in my email inbox, steeling myself for negativity and a lot of people telling me to get over myself and suck it up. And even more afraid of the reactions of the people in my real life that I have to see and talk to on a regular basis.
(There's some serious anxiety to go right along with the depression. It's an awesome combination.)
But the first comment was incredibly kind and understanding. And so was the second. And the third.
One by one, I went through the comments that were sitting there. Notifications came in throughout the day as more responses were left.
Every single one of them was encouraging. Compassionate. Kind.
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| Image credit: Stephen Cuyos |
It was surreal. I really didn't know how to react or what to say. I still don't.
But then came the other part I wasn't expecting.
Commiseration.
I was stunned by how many people contacted me yesterday to say that they know exactly how I feel because they've been there. Or because they ARE there. Or because someone they know and love is going through the same thing.
There's a lot of depression out there.
Which is depressing in its own way.
The good news is that there is help. There's a way through it. A way that I'm still at the very beginning of trying to navigate. But I know it's there.
And along the way there are a heck of a lot of people who understand.
That means the world.
Thank you.
You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!
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It is true, more people know about depression personally than they are willing to admit. My color personality is yellow and as yellow as I am I truly do have blue days/moments that I choose to hide from the world. I don't know why I do, I just do. Maybe at those moments I am scared that people won't believe me or think ill of me because I am not always turned on to my yellow color 24/7. Or maybe I just don't feel like I am a big deal and it is really nothing. But I am human and I just try to pray for strength and deal with what is up with me in whatever means works best at the time (crying, sleeping, professional help) whatever. I am proud of you for being brave enough to talk about it because it makes me feel like I can, and should have at times, be more open about being sad to people around me rather then letting people read my mind. Which totally works ;)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you are loved girl. Keep it real!
Karen, that's wonderful so many responded in a positive manner! You know this community - there are so many wonderful people here, and that includes you.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone goes through *something*. I may not fully understand or be able to empathize with those who have depression, but anxiety is no walk in the park either.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would wager that most people have experienced one or the other at some point in their lives. While people do suck on the Internet, I think more people care.
We are actually spiritual beings that have cloaked ourselves in flesh and are living in a world that has "gone wrong".
ReplyDeleteThat is bound to lead to a great deal of "depression".
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
I'm glad you got so much love and support. Blogs are powerful tools for bridging the gap between people. It helps so much when people talk about their true feelings because it lets over people know that they are not alone in how they feel. It also helps the blog author. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was good "talking" with you yesterday. I love text conversations.
I'm glad you were filled with a lot of support and encouragement for sharing something that was so hard for you to share. Believe it or not, people actually care. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope all the support and encouragement make dealing with depression a little bit easier. Good luck to you as you move forward from here.
ReplyDeleteI started reading this, and I thought...omg! I just wrote about this too. Anyhow, I had to go back and read your other post, and I so feel for you. It takes a long time to recognize that depression is the label for what you've been feeling for a long, long time. Then there's that stigma...
ReplyDeleteBeing aware of it is the first step to making forward strides. :)
Big, big, big hugs!
I think that you actually saying something made a lot us of realize how much we all wanted to say something too.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you continue to get all the support you need.
And this goes to support my main life philosophy (Hubster hates this because I say it all the time), that everyone needs a therapist and a dermatologist.
People sometimes forget that writers who write to encourage, entertain, and teach others need words too to help them grow and overcome their own personal issues. I am glad that you were strengthened by your responses. I believe we are all here to help one another.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone has periods of depression. Some periods are longer than others but it's all basically the same...and you're welcome. ; )
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the best things about the internet: the support. No matter what you are into, or doing, or having problems with, someone is there for you! I hope you get through this, no matter how you decide to do it! We are all here for you!
ReplyDeleteIt does seem like depression is so common these days. I wonder whether people are just more aware, or whether something about our society is making people more depressed. Probably a little of both. Plus, I think people who write, or are creative in whatever way, tend a bit more toward depression. Or more toward self awareness?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you are not alone!
I am so glad!
ReplyDeleteI wish that is the response we would always get. From friends. From Family. From the internet friends.
We are all in the middle of some kind of a struggle! Good luck with your healing.
♥ Celina
I'm really glad that everyone is behind you on this, and it's good that you've people who can empathize with you. Just let us know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteYou have my sword.