Wednesday, December 19, 2012

In Which I Make a Complete Ass of Myself on a Blind Date and Don't Find Out About it Until Two Days Later

The other day, I was contacted by HuffPost Live about appearing on one of their discussion panels. The topic? Matchmaking.

The whole thing came from this post I wrote last year about the rules for setting up your friends.

Against every ounce of self-preservation I possess, the link to the chat is here: Matchmaker, Match Me!

If you decide to watch it, understand that I am 100% aware that I looked really dorky and kind of dumb, so judge nicely. Or at least don't tell me what you really think because my Xanax prescription hasn't been refilled and just the fact that I included the link is giving me fits of panic.

Better yet, you don't even have to watch it, because I'm going to tell you a story. A story that I shared during this episode, but with more details because the story is actually kind of a funny one.

Years ago, when I was still in college and roommates with Emily, we decided to get a group together to go see the newest Harry Potter movie. I can't remember now if it was The Chamber of Secrets or The Prisoner of Azkaban, but the exact title doesn't matter much anyway.

For some reason, I got the brilliant idea that we should make this a big group date. Despite the fact that I pretty much never dated and didn't really even have anyone to ask. I used to do that to myself a lot and ALWAYS ended up regretting it.

Emily got herself a date. I asked someone who wasn't available. And someone else who wasn't available. And then I was stuck sans date. Which is when my friend Spencer and I decided to just set each other up for fun.

I took the task seriously and found a girl that he probably would have asked out anyway because I knew he liked her. He had a much more difficult task, but he finally found a friend for me. And another for this co-worker of mine who thought we were friends and invited herself to join us and then demanded I get her a date. But that's a story for another time...

Anyway, I basically felt like Phoebe in that episode of Friends where she and Joey decide to set each other up and she looks for a really great girl for Joey, but he forgets and ends up just finding some random guy.

(Except, spoiler alert: I did not end up marrying my "Mike.")

It was a little bit like that. Except that Spencer actually did know this guy. I'm not sure how well, but at least they had met somewhere other than a coffee shop that afternoon.

Everyone met up at my house. We ordered pizza and chatted and laughed and I thought that Nate--

(That's what we'll call my date. Not to protect his privacy, but because I can't actually remember his name and Nate is my best guess.)

--was not really my type but certainly nice enough.

Eventually we got into cars, went to the theater and enjoyed the movie. As the evening progressed, I started to warm up to Nate a little more and thought that even though I wasn't totally interested, I would probably go out with him again sometime.

But at the end of the night, he didn't ask for my number and said nothing that would suggest that he would like to see me again. Which certainly didn't break my heart at all. In fact, I was a little bit relieved that there would be none of that awkwardness that comes when he likes her but she likes someone else and blah blah blah.

Although I was a little bit annoyed because, hello, I'm awesome and why WOULDN'T he want to see me again?

I basically forgot all about him over the weekend. But when I went to class on Monday morning, I discovered Nate sitting in the seat behind me.

"You're in this class??" I said with a laugh.

He didn't smile. "Yeah. I have been all semester."

There never was a second date.

It was probably for the best.


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10 comments:

  1. Ha! My only blind date (in high school) was for homecoming. A week later my date got expelled. He was drunk on the school property, during school hours. Ugh, I was mortified to have ever been associated with him.

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  2. Haha! I remember this night, although I don't remember who I went with. You need to post that story about your friend that invited herself. She was an interesting character. Didn't she wipe down her pizza because it was too greasy? Love this story! How fun.

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  3. That's funny! Oh well, he obviously hadn't pinged your radar.

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  4. What a great post, gave me a much needed giggle. Love the way you write.


    Madison:-)

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  5. I once did nearly the exact same thing! Well, sort of: I started "seeing" a friend of a friend in a strictly casual manner and avoided speaking to him at all in the daytime. Imagine my surprise to discover he was in my favorite Anth class! Imagine his surprise when I told him that he could not sit next to me. A girl's got to have rules.

    And I was kindof a jerk to guys in college.

    My story is just mean.

    Yours was hilarious.

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  6. You have to be careful with those blind dates. I ended up marrying one of them.

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  7. Well, he DID sit behind you. I don't remember turning around much (if ever) in class either.

    My blindest date was a clown at a street fair. We got along, so I invited him to an upcoming event. I arrived first and knew everyone there so I figured I'd know when the guy arrived. And I did. He was the homeliest guy I'd ever seen (I was young, sue me).

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  8. Ohhhh...awkward. Well, if it helps, my parents met on a blind date. And then were married 6 months later. For almost 40 years! And now they're divorcing....so getting married isn't a happily ever after or anything, even if the blind date is a success. :)

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  9. I've proven mathematically that blind dates must inevitably end in awkwardness, though in all honesty I never had a blind date - one was quite severely near-sighted and another slightly hard of hearing, but that's about it.

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  10. Congrats on the Huff Post panel! I don't think that you look dorky or dumb!!! It's really cool that you got asked to do that!

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"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias



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