Monday, December 17, 2012

The Other Victims

I don't know about you, but I've been glued to the TV and radio all weekend.

My heart hurts over what happened in Connecticut.

All our hearts hurt over what happened in Connecticut.

Looking into the faces of those sweet children, just a few months younger than my own precious nephew, brings tears to my eyes every time their pictures and names appear on a screen.

There is so much to this story that we don't yet know. So much that we may never know. Things like why this happened or who's to blame. We're looking for a reason where logic and reason don't exist. Searching for answers we may never find.

Our thoughts and prayers turn to the families of those children and the brave teachers who gave their lives protecting others. I can't begin to imagine what those families are going through. I wouldn't want to imagine it.

I hope our thoughts and prayers are also finding their way to the Lanza family. Because Ryan and Peter Lanza are suffering just as much and, in some ways, maybe a little more.

We've seen mass shootings too many times. We know the names. Dylan Klebold. Eric Harris. Jared Loughner. James Holmes.

I remember having passing thoughts about what their mothers must be going through, but it wasn't until Friday that I really had serious, conscious thoughts about the horrors that their families must have truly experienced.

Maybe it's because Adam Lanza's older brother was incorrectly named as the suspect hours before the truth came out. Maybe it was seeing the footage of Ryan Lanza, an innocent man, being handcuffed and loaded into the back of a police car and knowing he hadn't done anything. Or maybe it's because Adam murdered his own mother before driving to that elementary school.

I don't know.

But today I'm thinking of the Lanza family. The Holmes family. The Loughners and the Klebolds and the Harrises.

People who have faced taunting and vitriol and death threats, alongside their own grief, for simply having the nerve to be related to killers.

So I'm praying for the families and victims of the Sandy Hook massacre. And that includes Ryan and Peter Lanza.

I hope you will too.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!


  1. I think about that, too. I also think about how everyone is so outraged about the death of these innocent children yet they still stand for abortion. I think about the stories no one will know. I think about the crime scene workers and wonder if this made them forget about how immune they've come to seeing dead bodies. I think about how much these families will forever hate this time of year and I think about people questioning where God was when this happened and whether or not they'll find faith, keep faith or loose faith. As tragic as it is, I find the smallest bit of relief knowing others are thinking similar thoughts, and I hope they see God was in the hearts of the innocent children and the brave teachers and not in the heart of Adam, which makes me wonder why this country doesn't want more of God and less of evil.

    1. Preach It! Some ask 'where was God when this happened?' I can answer that-God was not allowed in Public School. After a tragedy of this magnitude some will blame God others will turn to him. I personally am trying to find 'MY' way back after my 20 year old son committed suicide, so I pass no judgement on anyone. Jennee thank you for being bold.

  2. Karen, this is amazing. I feel the same way and have so much sympathy for ALL families involved in this tragedy.

  3. Couldn't agree more. Their families are innocent victims too. One of the father's of a little girl killed, whose family is from Utah, talked about praying for the Lanzas. What grace.

  4. I have been thinking about his family as well, and as awful as it sounds - the thought actually ran across my head that it was good his mother was dead, because no mother should ever have to cope with the fact that her son is capable of this. And his brother. I just, cannot even imagine. There was so much information initially released, and he was so coorperative despite how broken he must have been feeling. As a family, I really don't know how you deal with this. There must be that desire there to grieve the loss of someone you loved, but also the fear of doing so openly in the face of what they have done. It really is just so tragic all around.

    My thoughts and prayers are definitely with all the victims. It is so senseless and sad, and nothing like this should ever be allowed to happen. My heart is aching over this whole thing.

  5. I agree. I read an article today where they gave some insight into who this family was, esp Nancy. The tragedy is so far reaching, Karen. I pray for the survivors on all sides of this.

  6. I feel deeply for those families as well. Sometimes, loving your kid isn't enough. I can't imagine what they must be feeling.

  7. Praying for all those affected...even those like you and I that do not know what to do with the emotions that grieving with the rest of the nation is bringing.

    1. That's a really great point, Mellisa. We are all dealing with something we may not be emotionally prepared to handle, no matter how far removed we are from the situation.

  8. I absolutely agree. I read the article in an Oprah magazine from Susan Klebold (last year? year before?) about what she has gone through. She's gotten death threats and all sorts of stuff like that - but she was just as much a victim (if not more) than everyone else at Columbine...and so are the Lanzas.

    Obviously my heart is broken for the families of the victims - but we can't forget that the shooters family are victims as well.


  9. This really is wonderful article ! I simply love’d it !

  10. Very true...I cannot imagine being at all in that situation, and thank you for pointing out that tragedy affects a wider ring of people than the immediate victims of a crime.

  11. Ryan Lanza wasn't under arrest. Being taken in for questioning means the handcuffs go on - it's police procedure.

    I feel bad for Ryan too. Adam took his identification. That's why there was a mix-up. Can you imagine the betrayal? And to top it off, his mother is dead at the hands of his brother? I can't even imagine.

  12. I've thought of this many times. There was a great article I read years ago (don't remember where or by whom) about the mothers of prisoners and how people don't realize that they love their children just like any mother does. I can't imagine what anyone involved in this, on either side, is going through.

    Although, unlike many, I am strictly avoiding the news. I break down bawling every time I hear anything about it.

  13. I can't stop thinking about it either! I am glad you posted this~
    I too pray for all affected by this madness. I too feel for Ryan and Peter Lanza. So many questions, that we may never know the answers to?! Our nation is grieving!

    It is so sad and horrible! This shouldn't have happened...

  14. I think about the parents of the gunmen a lot. On the 10th anniversary of Columbine, O,magazine had a article published by Dylan Klebold's mother. It's the closest thing to an interview any of the parents gave. It was very insightful and heartbreaking.


"You know what they say. If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

~Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias

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