A Peek at Karen's World

The Applicant

2012-02-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned a few times that I work at a college.

I don't ever say the name of it because I figure if anyone wants to stalk me they can at least put in a little effort to figure out which one, although it would honestly take about 20 seconds on a dial-up connection to track me down.

Plus, I hardly ever blog about my job because I've heard about very negative things happening to people who do that.

(Not in my district, but to other people.)

And besides, it's not like I have ANYTHING negative to say about my job because it is always sunshine and roses and we ride unicorns over rainbows every single day.

However. A situation came up last week that I just HAD TO SHARE. And I do this with the permission of one of the people involved. But I'm changing names to protect identities and pretend to be a little bit anonymous.

Part of my job involves student workers. Namely, tutors. And the recruiting and hiring and scheduling of said tutors.

I love working with our students. They are bright and funny and motivated and generally great people to be around. And most of them are young and keep things upbeat.

So it all started on Monday when I got a phone call from a gentleman asking if we hire tutors that are not students. I informed him that our district rules require that our tutors be enrolled in a minimum of 6 units per semester. He politely thanked me, hung up, and I never thought anymore about it.

The next day, the same gentleman (presumably) called again and spoke with my co-worker who gave him the same answer, but also mentioned that we do often bring in volunteers from the community. This is a service that has proven very valuable to us in years of tight budgets.

He bristled at the notion of volunteering, but agreed to speak with our coordinator, who I've mentioned before by name, but for the purposes of this post I'll give him the alias, "Richard." The man whom I'll call "Joseph O'Malley" (which is NOT AT ALL his real name I swear) left a message. Richard called back within minutes and got Joseph's voice mail, and left a message for him.

Don't you just love phone tag?

Similar bad timing and barely missed phone calls happened on Wednesday, too. And then Richard received an e-mail from Joseph stating that he hadn't heard back and would like to know if there are any openings and that he has a Bachelor's Degree from a local university, etc.

Not having gotten anywhere with returning phone calls, Richard replied to Joseph's email by informing him of the same things we had already mentioned. Namely that we can only hire students, but that we are always happy to have volunteers.

The response he received was as follows. In its entirety without my commentary. The only thing I've changed here are names or anything that specifically identifies any real name or actual place:

Hi, Rick

Thanks for the reply.

I presume we both applaud volunteerism (itis?) but I also presume we agree that "time is money." Since I, as a retired person, am already paid nothing to do nothing, I am already well paid. Hiring and paying "peer tutors" (at taxpayer expense) to tutor other peers is a little galling. It's a bit like paying the blind to lead the blind, isn't it? Would you want a twenty-something to "teach" you anything? Don't get me wrong, Ricky. Young people are intelligent and giving is good, but when the recipient expects something for free, the giver and the thing given have NO value, do they? This kind of "giving" demeans everything and everyone involved!

There were no voice mails from you on my answering machine. (Learn to dial!)

Cheers,

Old Joe

PS: Old people have much to offer and it has value. So do they.

PPS: Isn't it great to have a civil service (?) job "for life"?

PPPS: Civil service = I couldn't get a job in the private sector because they expect results. ("I've worked in the private sector. They expect results." --Bill Murray in Ghostbusters)

PPPPS: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym." --Woody Allen

PPPPPS: "Those who can't do anything become coordinators." --Joseph O'Malley

(And this last one refers back to the email that Richard first sent that had a debatable grammatical 'error')

PPPPPPS: "Hello Mr. O'Malley,"? Maybe "Hello, Mr. O'Malley," is preferred, eh? Punctuation hasn't died in (your) college, has it? Sign up for some English peer-tutoring from one of your Spanish-speaking "peers," Ricky.

Oy vey.

We went back and forth and back again on what to do about that one.

Should there be a reply? By email or by phone call? Should it be professional or snarky?

We discussed it at length and all agreed that while there were a number of things we would LIKE to have said to this man, the safest, smartest, and most professional course of action was simply to do nothing.

Which is when I asked for permission to blog about this.

Because I wrote a response.

A response that wasn't sent. And for good reason. But one that needed to be written.

I wrote this from Richard's perspective. And it was the kind of thing that demanded to be shared. So I'm sharing it here with you since I can't send it to "Joseph O'Malley."

Howdy, Joe!

Thanks for your reply.

I presume we both applaud humor, but I also presume we agree in such a thing as respect. Since I, as the person from whom you recently sought employment, received no respect from you, it is fair to say that you should expect none in return. Hiring and paying "peer tutors" (at taxpayer expense) is a common practice at many educational institutions, including your alma mater, BSU. It's a bit like paying excellent and proven students to use the skills they have acquired to help their fellow students to become successful. I would be delighted to have a twenty-something "teach" me anything wherein their skill set was greater than mine as I am humble enough to understand that I have not yet amassed all knowledge. Don't get me wrong, Joey Boy. This kind of tutoring practice has proven successful time and again for students of all ages.

I left two voice mails at the number you gave me. (Learn your phone number!)

Tally-ho,

Dr. Richard G. Burton

PS: "It's true what they say. Old people, though slow and often dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose."--Jim Carrey, Dumb & Dumber

PPS: If I have this job "for life" then our pension system needs some serious reform.

PPPS: I had a job in the private sector and accepted a pay cut to work with a broader range of students in an area where I felt my time and knowledge would be more useful. And that Ghostbusters quote was from Dan Akroyd, not Bill Murray.

PPPPS: "Those who can't teach gym write snarky emails when they don't get their way." --Karen Peterson

PPPPPS: "Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another." --Erma Bombeck

PPPPPPS: We have an excellent grammar class to suit your needs, as well as a wonderful course in Multi-Cultural Studies.

Too far?

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If There Was One Phrase I Could Eliminate from the English Language...

2012-01-30T22:47:00.000-08:00

...it would be, "You'll understand 'tired' when you have a baby."

I'm tired, people.

Freaking tired.

I am so tired that I can't actually remember what it feels like to NOT be tired.

I haven't slept in a really long time. I say it's been weeks, but really, it's been more like years.

The same thing happens nearly every night. Evening comes. Drowsiness comes. My bed beckons. It welcomes me. It's such a nice bed. The nicest bed I've ever owned. So soft and perfect. The sheets are comfortable. The blankets are warm, but not too hot. And my pillows? I have fabulous pillows.

I bought the bed five years ago, after decades of sleeping on one monstrosity after another.

(It spent two sad and lonely years in storage, so it's really like I've only had it for three.)

The first night I slept on that beautiful pillow-top mattress, I fell in love.

The problem is definitely NOT with the bed.

No, unfortunately, the problem is all me.

The very moment I lay down and close my eyes, my brain goes into overdrive. Remembering today. All the conversations I had. Work left undone. Bills I forgot to pay. Phone calls I was supposed to make and didn't get to. Phone calls I DID make and wish I hadn't. And then I think about tomorrow. What time I have to get up. What I'm going to wear. Do I need to stop in the morning to put gas in the car? What meetings and appointments do I have going on?

It's not like I have an Important Job.

I mean, what I do matters. And whether I show up determines the kind of day a lot of other people are going to have.

(Just to get that straight. Because I'd really like to keep being employed and I am in no way implying that my job is unnecessary.)

It's just not an Important Job. Like, I don't have a secretary.

In fact. I'm not even a secretary.

They get paid more than I do.

I don't have anyone counting on me to put dinner on the table at night, or even to get home every night.

(Of course my roommates notice when I don't show up. But I think you know what I mean.)

The point is, by all accounts, there's no reason for this sleeplessness that has plagued me for way too long. Mine should be the blissful, restful slumber that others envy.

But no.

Not me.

Nope. Instead, I toss and turn and beg the clock to stop marching on toward waking up time. Begging my mind to please turn off and go to sleep already. Spending entire days in a fog of half understood conversations, and searching my mind for facts that should occur to me as easily as my own name.

It's been this way for a long time.

Off and on, of course.

But mostly on for the past two months or so.

And every time someone dares to tell me that I don't understand what it's like to be tired because I don't have kids?

It kind of makes me want to punch them in the head.

Because there doesn't have to be a hungry, diaper-needing, crying baby down the hall for me to understand what tired means.

I'm pretty sure I've got it figured out.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

One Month Down

2012-01-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

Between a very busy socializing weekend and a seriously evil bought of sleep deprivation, I don't have the mental energy to write a post today.

So even though I don't have an update or any magical pearls of wisdom or a brilliant guest post today, I'd still like to encourage you to link up and let us know how you're doing. How did it go this week? How have you liked the first month?

We all want to know!

And it's NEVER too late to join in the fun. Click here to add your list to our master linky.

Don't forget to visit Jennee and see how this week went for her, too.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Odds and Ends

2012-01-27T11:40:00.000-08:00

There are some random thoughts swirling around in my head this Friday morn, and most of them wouldn't make a very interesting post on their own. So I'm throwing them together here.

•First and foremost, one of my nearest and dearest real life friends, Emily, also happens to be an awesome blogger and is hosting a really awesome giveaway that you should all check out.

(And no, blogging about it doesn't get me an extra entry. I'm telling you about it because it's cool, she's cool, and you should enter.)

(And you should also just follow her blog while you're there because, like I said, she's cool and you're missing out.)

•There are 9 movies nominated for Best Picture. I've seen 2 of them so far. I feel like such a failure. I've added the ones that are already on DVD to my Netflix list and will hopefully catch them in the next couple of weeks. I plan to see The Descendants ASAP, and I'm still on the fence about War Horse. Not because I don't think it's a great movie, but because I have this weird thing with movies about animals that don't talk. I hate seeing animals suffer and get scared. Even more than people. I need help.

•Speaking of needing help, I mentioned yesterday that I started seeing a therapist. Two visits in and I am SO GLAD I did this.

•On an impulse this morning, I bought a bag of M&Ms. Which should be no big deal. Except that I haven't opened them yet because I know as soon as I do I will EAT ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW.

•I'm currently reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It's really good, except that lately the only time I've had to read has been late at night when I should be going to sleep. It's taken me four days to get through one chapter. Which is frustrating because I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS RIGHT NOW.

•One of the things I'm working on now is patience.

•I'm going to go open those M&Ms now.

•Hey. I'm currently working on patience. Not impulse control.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

"Reassurance"

2012-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

It is inevitable that just as I settle myself back into a level of relative comfort in my place in life, some well-meaning person or other comes along and tries to throw everything off balance again.

I am a single woman who is a month away from turning 35.

And I'm okay with that.

Do I wish I was married?

Yes. As my therapist forced me to admit last week in a very weird conversation that had me completely stoic and unemotional while sharing some deeply painful and awful bits of my past before tearfully admitting that I truly and deeply believe that I won't ever get married.

Because, OBVIOUSLY I'm TOTALLY fine with that.

Ahem.

I've discovered a cycle in my life. I'm cruising along and get to a point where I'm comfortable with who I am. With the fact that I'm single. With the idea that I will ALWAYS be single. And then a friend or a stranger or a therapist--

(This therapy deal is a new development. Don't worry. You haven't missed anything.)

--feels the need to "reassure" me that I'll get married some day and that I shouldn't worry about the exact thing that I already wasn't worrying about.

It's happened over and over and over again.

Look.

I'm not avoiding marriage. I'm not afraid of it. And I'm not wallowing every day, scouring the kennels for my next furry companion whilst lamenting my unfortunate spinsterhood and assuming that the only reason I'm not married is because I'm somehow not good enough for anyone on the entire planet.

I know I'm pretty awesome. Far from perfect, but still cool to be around a lot of the time.

And I do hold out hope that there's some man out there for me that will think I'm cool enough to hang out with for all of eternity. Preferably one with Ryan Gosling's face and Colin Firth's manners.

I haven't given up. I've just come to accept something that I fully believe is reality.

But again and again people tell me that it's wrong to think this way.

They say things like: "You'll find your Prince Charming" or "You need to expect to get married" or my personal favorite: "It'll happen when you least expect it."

Really? Because I wasn't expecting it at all, and now that you've said that, I AM expecting it all over again.

So, thanks for that.

It's normal for people to want to reassure one another. To feel like we're helping make someone else feel better. To say something that comforts.

Ironically, though, it so often happens that the more things we say in our efforts to help, the less we actually do.

I know that people care and worry about me.

Believe me. In the past few weeks I've become keenly aware of just how much people worry about me.

But the "reassurances" aren't reassuring. The helpful comments and questions are often the opposite.

You know what IS helpful? What IS reassuring?

Knowing that I'm accepted. That my marital status doesn't affect my social standing. That I'm still welcome and included and involved and that people understand and accept that I can be a perfectly normal person even without a man at my side.

It's not like I somehow forget every day that I'm alone. I'm not unaware of the fact that it's been eons since the last date I went on that had any potential for going anywhere.

I need to feel like I'm adequate. I need to feel like my feelings are valued.

I need to feel like people like me. Just the way I am.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Oscar Nominees Were Announced this Morning and You Better Believe I Watched Them Live

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

It's here! It's here! Oscar time is OFFICIALLY HERE!!

Forget Christmas. THIS is the most wonderful time of the year.

(Okay, I'm lying. You all know how much I LOVE CHRISTMAS.)

But this is the second most wonderful time of the year.

And I have my little traditions that have been steadily cultivated since sometime in the early 1990s.

Yes, friends, I've been watching the Oscars since the days when I was still young and naive enough to believe that a movie like Batman could be nominated and win Best Picture over that snooze fest Driving Miss Daisy.

(Okay, Driving Miss Daisy wasn't a snooze fest. But by the time I saw it, Daisy reminded me too much of my grandmother, which basically ruined the whole experience.)

(Mind you, I LOVE my grandmother. But Alzheimer's sucks and I didn't love watching it play out in a movie.)

Anyway. The point is that I've been watching the Oscars for a very long time. And I love them. Like, a lot.

And I almost always make predictions about the nominees. In fact, in recent years I've gotten pretty darned good at my predictions.

This year, I didn't really get around to doing them. The nominations just sort of sneaked up on me, what with all the stuff I've been dealing with in my real life.

So, this morning, as I sat and waited for the announcements to begin, I jotted a couple of quick notes of just a few of my predictions (pretty much based on buzz and precursor award nominations and gut feeling):

Best Supporting Actress:
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist

Best Supporting Actor:
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Kenneth Branaugh, My Week with Marilyn

Best Actor:
George Clooney, The Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March

Best Actress:
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Viola Davis, The Help
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Best Picture:
The Artist
The Descendants
War Horse
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
The Iron Lady
~~We Bought a Zoo~~
Moneyball
The Ides of March
My Week with Marilyn

That's pretty much an exact transcription of my quickly jotted guesses before Jennifer Lawrence and The President (?) of the Academy made the announcements.

(Yes, I originally wrote in We Bought a Zoo, but scratched it out because, as much as I loved it, I had a feeling the Academy wouldn't.)

So I was 2 for 2 on Supporting Actress. And 3 for 3 on Supporting Actor.

I *almost* said Jessica Chastain for The Help and Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids, but I thought it was way too much to hope for either of them.

And then I was 3 for 3 in the Best Actress category, but only because I didn't know that Albert Knobbs was eligible this year. Had I known that, I would absolutely have guessed Glenn Close, just because she plays exactly the kind of character that gets nominated for Oscars: a beautiful woman disguised as an unattractive man.

Which means I'm even more afraid than ever for Viola Davis and her chances of winning Oscar gold.

In the Best Actor category, I was a little less perfect with 3 out of 5. But if there were going to be surprises, this was where they would be.

Or, so I thought.

Two things stood out to me this morning.

First, there are only TWO Best Song nominees. And I'm just going to say right now that I am rooting like crazy for "Man or Muppet" because, hello! That song is awesome. As was the movie.

Second, there are only NINE Best Picture nominees. After making such a big deal about raising the category from 5 to 10, this year there are 9. In a year where there were certainly more than 10 worthy films.

I'm scratching my head a little bit there.

And speaking of the Best Picture nominees...I guessed 7 out of 9 right. Not bad, eh? But the two I missed weren't even close to being on my list of potentials: Tree of Life and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Mostly because they've gotten such radically polarizing responses. People either love or hate both of these movies, or haven't seen them, and that usually isn't a good sign when award season comes around.

But, they both managed to sneak in there to the surprise of many and to the absolute delight (I'm sure) of a director friend of mine who absolutely loves and adores Terrence Malick.

(For very good reason, of course.)

So, this is going to be an interesting Oscar race. Right now, nothing seems like a given. It feels like any one of these nominees in every category has a chance at winning.

(Except, let's face it, Jonah Hill.)

Because there are 23 categories, I'm not listing everything, so click here to see the complete list of nominees.

The next four weeks or so are going to be exciting! I can't wait for February 26, not only to find out who the winners are, but to welcome back the very best Oscar host EVER, Billy Crystal.

It's gonna be a good year.

And in case you're wondering, I'm rooting for The Artist. I finally saw it and it is worth every single ounce of hype it's gotten. And then some.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Cruising Along in Week 3: Project 52

2012-01-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

I'm still in mourning today.

After an amazing, unexpected season, my beloved San Francisco 49ers lost to the Giants yesterday by a field goal in overtime.

Sad face.

But, Happy Face! As I write this, my friend Marly is at the hospital, hopefully having a baby boy!

And another friend, Stephanie, got to bring her brand new baby boy home yesterday.

And Marly and Stephanie are next-door neighbors in the same apartment complex. Must be something in the water over there.

Anyway, with all this excitement happening all around me, I've still managed to scratch a few things off my list.

You already know about the awesome Indian restaurant (#47) that Marly and I found a couple of weeks ago.

And that audition for the OCMCO (#35) a week or so ago.

Last Monday, on Martin Luther King Day, I went out with Stephanie and her husband and my roommate and tried Eggs Benedict (#40) for the first time.

And you know what? They were yummy. Super yummy. I don't know why I've never tried them before. But they were worth the 34.92 year wait.

I've also got got 2 out of 15 trips to Disneyland finished. And another one this weekend when some friends from Utah come to town. More on that later.

There have been 4 soda-free days so far. Which actually sounds a little bit pathetic since it's now January 23. Gonna have to step that up.

Aaaaand...I think that's about it. For now.

But hey. Three goals finished and two in progress in the first three weeks of the year? I'll call that a win.

I'm feeling optimistic.

2012 is gonna be a good year.

How are you doing so far? Be sure to link up below and share!

And it is NEVER too late to join in the fun. Add your list to our Master Linky right here.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Good Enough

2012-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was going to save this for a Project 52 update, but I changed my mind.

You see, one of my goals this year was to audition for the Orange County Mormon Choir, and my audition was last Thursday.

Notice, my goal was NOT to get into the choir. It was simply to audition.

Because being accepted was not entirely up to me.

So I signed up to audition and then Marly volunteered to come along because she knows I get all needy and anxious when I'm nervous about anything that involves talent or skill or bravery.

We showed up to the audition last Thursday night. My hands were shaking and I think my knees were actually knocking together because this was a Big Deal. I've never auditioned for anything before where I wasn't guaranteed admission.

(Except that one time in high school, but the drama teacher was a total jerk and was supposed to find me a part somewhere and didn't.)

Anyway, the audition was in the chapel of a church building a few towns over. A friendly young woman told me to sign in and have a seat. Marly and I sat. There were only three of us waiting to audition just then, although the Audition Coordinator said there were 26 on the list, staggered throughout the evening. So it was me and two men and my cheerleader.

The first man was called into the chapel. The time had come. Auditions were officially underway.

My hands were shaking and Marly did her best to keep my mind off the anxiety, just reminding me that I'd be fine and that I could do this.

And then the first guy came through the doors and it was my turn. The coordinator called my name.

I stood up, looked back at Marly, smiled a weak smile and entered the chapel.

The cavernous, gigantic chapel full of empty pews and lots of space and just me and the choir director.

The choir director who was very friendly and looked about 18.

(Which was weird since has five kids.)

(And a musical resumé about a mile long.)

He introduced himself and I introduced myself and informed him that I had bronchitis.

(Oh, did I forget to mention that part?)

(Yup. The day before, I had basically been walking around all day sounding like a 12-year-old boy.)

He said that was fine and that he'd be able to hear my tone and {technical music words I can't remember} despite the crackles and hacking cough.

I took my place at the music stand and he sat at the piano and we did a few warm up exercises. Since my last experience with a choir anything remotely similar to this was about 800 years ago, I stumbled through the warm ups, not entirely sure what I was supposed to do. But I got through it.

And then he asked me to sing the first verse of "All Creatures of Our God and King."

And I am here to tell you that the voice that came out of my mouth was something I didn't even recognize.

I sounded good.

Really good.

I knew it.

When I finished the first verse, he asked me to sing the first part again. "But not in your choir voice. In your belt-it-out Opera Voice."

I don't have a belt-it-out Opera Voice.

But I nodded and he started playing and I sang.

SANG.

Sang my little lungs out. Hit notes I never should have been able to hit in my current state of allergic-ness and bronchial nasties.

"Good," he pronounced before asking me to turn to another hymn so that he could get an idea of my lower range.

It wasn't as pretty. But I was still feeling good.

As I finished the second hymn, he stopped playing and jotted a few notes on the form I'd brought with me. In the space that was marked "This space is reserved for the conductor."

I waited. Still shaking a little.

"Well," he started, still writing. And then he looked up. "You're definitely good enough to be here."

He said a bunch of other really complimentary things, but what rang through my brain was that I was GOOD ENOUGH. To be here. I was good enough.

That's something I haven't believed about myself in any sense in a really long time.

At that moment, it didn't matter if I was accepted into the choir or not.

Because I was good enough.

He went on to explain that his only reservation was my lack of formal choral experience and asked if I would promise my most excellent promise to work my butt off outside of rehearsals.

Of course I promised I would.

And then he said the results would be out by Tuesday. Just in time for the first rehearsal on Thursday.

I thanked him and walked out of the chapel to find Marly standing by the door. "You sounded SO GOOD!" she said.

"You could hear me??" I was slightly panicked by the thought and incredibly relieved that I hadn't known this BEFORE I'd gone in to sing.

She and the Audition Coordinator both said they could hear me and that I sounded great and I thanked the Coordinator and we left.

I was on a little bit of a high. And I told Marly that I knew it couldn't possibly have gone better. I felt great. And as much as I REALLY wanted to get into the choir, I'd be okay if I didn't because of the kind things the director said to me. About me.

When Tuesday came, I was on pins and needles. All day long. I tried to ignore my email, but couldn't. Every single time I got a notification that there was a new message, I jumped on it in a weird combination of fear and excitement.

That night, Marly texted to ask if I'd heard anything yet. I told her no and promised she'd be the first when I did. She assured me that when she'd gotten into the choir, she didn't find out until the day of the first rehearsal. I freaked out a little because there was NO WAY I could wait two more days.

By 9:45pm, there was still nothing. So I wrote her back, told her if I hadn't heard anything by then, I probably wouldn't that night and I'd talk to her tomorrow. (Which was yesterday.)

Yesterday morning, my alarm went off at 5. I fumbled for my phone and noticed an email message waiting. I clicked on it and saw:

OCMCO Audition Results

My heart stopped.

But I reminded myself that it didn't matter if I got in or not because the director thought I was good enough. And if I didn't get in, it was for some other reason. I could always audition again in the Fall.

I opened the email.

I got in.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Juror #9

2012-01-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

When the summons came, I was beside myself with excitement.

Visions of courtroom dramas swam through my nineteen-year-old head and I imagined finding myself on a Very Important Jury for a Very Important Trial.

Everyone warned that I'd probably be excused, as most cases settle or get continued before seeing the light of a courtroom.

But I knew. I knew this was going to happen. This was my moment. And I was excited, dressing with care as I prepared to go all the way downtown (a mile and a half from home) to the Civic Center to assemble in the Jury Room. My questionnaire was meticulously completed. I turned it in and took a seat.

I was ready.

After an hour of waiting, watching a movie about the Importance of Jury Service, and avoiding a really flirty creeper that gave me the creeps, we were called into the courtroom and asked to sit in the audience. The judge and the lawyers and the defendant and clerk were all assembled, ready to begin the process.

First, they excused everyone who had good excuses. Some guy who ran a construction company and couldn't possibly take three or four days away from his booming business. A woman who was leaving the next day on a vacation to the Bahamas and had brought her plane tickets to prove it. Someone who didn't speak much English and a student who had forgotten to request a later date.

They began seating jurors. One by one, filling all the seats until there were 12. The questions began and two or three were excused for various reasons that had to do with them being the wrong fit for this kind of trial. More names were called. More people were excused.

And then it happened.

They called my name.

I was shaking a little as I walked forward and took my seat in the ninth spot and waited for the judge to ask me the pre-selected questions. Yes, my name is Karen. No, this service will not interfere with my work schedule. No, I've never served on a jury before. No, I don't believe everyone who is arrested is automatically guilty.

The attorneys resumed their questioning, too, looking for reasons to excuse jurors for cause, and carefully selecting the best use of the peremptory challenges.

(Look at me using all this legal jargon. I totally should have gone to law school.)

Creepy McCreeperson managed to get called up and I suddenly wanted to ask to be excused. I had no interest in being locked in a room with this guy for the next four days or so. There was just something about him that wasn't right.

I was more than a little relieved when the prosecutor had him excused after he admitted to being in multiple violent altercations with a former employer.

The voir/dire process wore on and in the end, twelve jurors and two alternates were selected and sworn in. I kept my seat and was thereafter known as Juror #9.

The trial was projected to last four days, start to finish.

The only charge the defendant faced was Resisting Arrest.

There had been a demolition derby at the local fairgrounds and police were tasked with escorting anyone to the exit that had been drinking too much. And the defendant was one that was asked to leave for rowdy, drunken behavior. Only he refused to go because he didn't think he was drunk and decided the officer was harassing him.

The prosecutor presented three witnesses. The arresting officer, and two others who had come in to help when the scuffle got out of hand and demanded pepper spray. They all told basically the same story. But not in a coerced, brothers-sticking-together sort of a way. It was in a this-is-how-it-really-went-down way.

And then the defense attorney decided to introduce his theory of what REALLY happened.

He started on the third day. And he rested on the seventh.

And for those four days of testimony, he introduced a riveting tale about a girlfriend and the cop who loved her.

Basically, his story was this. The arresting officer (whose name I can't remember so I'll just call him Officer Bob) had been on patrol in the Town Square shopping center over Christmas.

The defendant's girlfriend (we'll call her Buffy) worked in her mother's boutique in the Town Square shopping center.

One night, Buffy was locking up the store to head home when Officer Bob happened by, checking in on all the shop owners to make sure they weren't being bothered by local hooligans. He and Buffy got to talking (or, as the defense attorney claimed, flirting). She started asking him to show her the inside of his police car and yada yada yada.

So then, seven months later at the demolition derby, Officer Bob saw the defendant and Buffy and got insanely jealous and decided to arrest her boyfriend to show off how manly he was, and to win her heart.

The heart of a young woman he hadn't seen or made any attempt at contacting in seven months.

On the seventh day of the four day trial, the lawyers offered their summations. The prosecutor wrapped it all up pretty nicely. Explained reasonable doubt. Reminded us of the consistency of the officers' testimony and the fact that none of them had ever been disciplined for anything.

The defense attorney summarized his case by trying to paint Officer Bob as sort of a shifty, creepy guy who was so beloved by his fellow officers that they would willingly lie for him. He had been so attracted to Buffy that he'd completely forgotten all about his wife and kids at home.

Oh, and then the attorney tore up a copy of the US Constitution and said that if we convicted his client (of resisting arrest at a demolition derby) we were, in effect, tearing up the Constitution ourselves.

We were taken to the jury room not long after that and selected a foreman. We took a vote and I was shocked to learn that there were three jurors that were undecided on the guilt or innocence of the defendant.

Seriously?

They had their reasons. Police officers lie. Buffy really IS a cute girl. The defendant looks like kind of a douche, but that doesn't mean he deserved to be pepper sprayed.

Ugh.

We had to come back the next day to continue our deliberations.

Three hours into Day 8, we FINALLY convicted the guy.

And just what was his big sentence for this eight day trial?

A year of anger management classes.

God bless the American legal system.

And the taxpayers who fund it.

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Week #2 and All Is Well!

2012-01-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

I decided to do something a little bit different this week.

You see, some of you are still on the fence about joining Project 52, or you have pretty much decided not to do it because it seems so daunting.

Well, my friend Shawna has a different take on the challenge this year, and I've asked her to talk about that today. So, please welcome my real-life friend and my first guest poster of the year:

Hello everybody! I’m super excited to be a guest poster here on Karen’s blog. Karen is my idol, both in the blogging world and the real world. I worship her. I have a little corner in my closet with her picture and candle and a $20 bill. (Ok, there WAS a $20 bill…there was a sale at Forever 21 and, well… I’m only human.)

In December of 2010 Karen told me about her idea for Project 52 and invited to me to join. I was pretty excited especially since my inner perfectionist loves making lists and goals and checking things off. So it was a complete no-brainer for me to join the Project. There was one small caveat though. I was 5 months pregnant last January. So while I was compiling my list of goals I knew that my life was headed for some major changes. But I went ahead and made goals anyway and I tried to make them reasonable. Now, I knew that having a baby was going to change my life, but I don’t think that I was really prepared for how much it would also change ME. Six months and one baby later I was looking over my goals and realized there were a lot of things on my list that no longer seemed important to me anymore. And even worse, my goals ended up holding me back from doing things that I actually really wanted to do. For example, I picked out 12 classic books to read. But in the fogginess of post-partum depression I found I couldn’t concentrate on War and Peace. Or Moby Dick. Or any of the other books on my list. Now there were lots of books that I probably could have concentrated on but because they weren‘t on my list I felt guilty reading them. So I didn’t read anything at all.

So this year I knew I wanted to make a smaller but more broad list of goals, so I made 12 general goals and smaller goals under a few of them. The 12 general goals are what I really want to accomplish this year, but I’m not so concerned about how I achieve them. This also gives me some wiggle room; that way if there are any major changes in my life, I can adapt my goals to those changes. For example, one of my goals is to enjoy life more. I know that is really vague so I set a few smaller, more specific goals to help me achieve underneath it like: reading more books, watching more movies, going to the beach, and revamping my makeup routine. Should my life take drastic a turn and let’s say I move from CA to the Sahara Desert then I would probably change those to: getting a tan, learning to use a divining rod, and taking up camel racing. But I would still achieve my goal of enjoying life more. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to back to that shrine in my closet so that I can start praying that I don’t actually end up moving to the Sahara.

****
You can read more from Shawna at her blog Blondesense and Nonsense. Thank you so much, Shawna, for sharing your take on Project 52!

If you have an update this week, you can link up down below.

If you are ready to join Project 52, please add your list to the Master Linky here.

And while y'all are doing that, I'm going to go look for some chains and a basement. Because there is NO WAY Shawna's moving to the Sahara Desert...

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The 69th Annual Golden Globes Play-by-Play

2012-01-15T20:09:00.000-08:00

Um...Oops! I took a MUCH needed afternoon nap and just barely woke up to discover that the Giants beat the Packers, which is pretty much a miracle.

I also totally missed the beginning of the Golden Globes because I thought they were starting at 6. So sorry about the beginning.

But honestly, did I really miss the opening monologue from Ricky Gervais?

Anyway, on with the show!

5:12--Christoper Plummer is accepting an award, so he must have won Best Actor in a?? I can't remember what he's nominated for! Oh, right. Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture. He's saying something sweet about his wife of 43 years.

(After I went back and watched the beginning of the show again, I discovered that Johnny Depp was the first presenter introducing the clip for Hugo.Yay!)

5:14--Elle MacPherson and Ashton Kutcher present the award for Best Actress in a Television Comedy or Musical. And the winner is:

5:15--Laura Dern from

5:20--Rob Lowe and Julianne Moore came to the stage to announce something. Julianne freezes. Apparently the teleprompter is stuck. Oops! And they introduce Miss Golden Globe,

5:21--And the nominees for best Mini-Series or TV Movie are introduced. I've heard way too much about Downton Abbey for it not to win...

5:22--And the winner is: Downton Abbey! Okay, I will start watching it. I promise.

5:23--And the winner for Best Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie is also presented by Rob and Julianne. Why are they doing these two together? Why not actor and actress? Weird...

5:24--Kate Winslet wins for Mildred Pierce. I love Kate!

5:27--Frieda Pinto introduces a clip from Midnight in Paris. I can't see her whole dress, but the color looks gorgeous.

5:31--Jeremy Irons escorts the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press onto the stage. Nope, I'm not even going to try to spell her name. They talk about what the Hollywood Foreign Press is doing when they're not loving weird movies and badmouthing American actors.

5:34--Jake Gyllenhaal introduces a clip for My Week With Marilyn.

5:35--Ricky Gervais. Ugh. I *almost* forgot he was here. He says they're 5 minutes over and people need to wrap up the speeches.

5:36--Melissa McCarthy and Paula Patton present Best Actor in a Television Drama.

5:37--And the Golden Globe goes to: Kelsey Grammer for Boss. I'm really not surprised. Kelsey Grammer could stand on his head for an hour and the Hollywood Foreign Press would give him an award. His speech is good and he thanks his wife-of-the-moment.

5:38--And Melissa and Paula present Best Television Drama.

5:39--The winner is...Homeland. It's not what I predicted, but it makes total sense. It was on after Dexter this fall, but I never watched it. Guess I'll start now.

5:43--So there's a commercial on for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. For awhile, the more commercials I saw, the more I kind of wanted to see it. Now, they're having the opposite effect...

5:45--Jimmy Fallon and Adam Levine are here to present the music awards. Jimmy asked Adam, "Which specific moves do you like from Jagger? Surely not ALL of them."

5:46--Best Original Score for a Movie..Total reminds me that I found this Film Score channel on Pandora that I LOVE. Anyway, the winner is: Ludovic Bource for The Artist! I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE!

5:47--Wow. That is one heck of a strong French accent. He should just give the speech in French. I'll translate. He's kind of adorable.

5:48--I can't believe "Are You a Man or a Muppet?" isn't nominated. But the winner for Best Original Song is "Masterpiece" from W.E.? What is this movie?

5:51--Wow. It's been a LONG time since I've seen Madonna anywhere.

5:52--Some woman from Turkey is now talking. I totally missed her name. And the point. Something about World Peace.

5:56--They're showing a commercial for Smash, which starts in a couple of weeks. Even if it's terrible, I'm probably going to watch it.

5:57--Kathrine McPhee and Debra Messing (who are starring together in Smash) present Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie.

5:58--And the winner is Idris Elba for Luther.

5:59--Idris Elba is pretty hot. And I totally didn't know he had an accent. Hmmm...

6:00--Eek! It's Brad Pitt! (Yes, I still heart him so much. He's pretty.) Introducing a clip from The Ides of March. I need to see this. And not just for Ryan Gosling.

6:01--Kate Beckinsale and Seth Rogen. Seth just said something funny but I don't want those Google hits, so I'm not repeating it...Let's just say Kate is blushing.

6:02--Presenting Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical. The winner is Michelle Williams from My Week With Marilyn. She does look amazing in that movie.

6:03--I really dig her short hair. She says a very sweet thanks to her little girl.

6:07--Sarah Michelle Gellar and Piper Perabo (the tops of their dresses look weird...) present Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie.

6:09--The Golden Globe goes to Peter Dinklage for A Game of Thrones. Can I be honest that I'm kind of glad? I thought it would be Eric Stonestreet (who I LOVE) but I like seeing them mix it up a little.

6:10--Peter tells a funny story about his mom telling him to have fun, but that Guy Pierce is going to win. He thanks his mom for keeping him humble.

6:11--Oh yeah, Ricky Gervais. Blah. You know, I'm realizing that this show really doesn't need a host.

6:12--George Clooney has a cane? Oh, haha, it's Brad Pitt's. He introduces Moneyball. Aw, how cute. Brad introduced his movie and now he's introducing Brad's. Those two have one of my favorite Bromances ever.

6:13--Channing Tatum and Jessica Alba introduce the nominees for Best Animated Feature Film. It's an odd category this year.

6:14--The winner is The Adventures of Tintin. Which I've heard great things about. But, like it wouldn't be good when it was directed by Steven Freaking Spielberg!

6:16--Spielberg makes a joke that people say he and Peter Jackson could make a movie about the phone book and people would see it. Um, that's pretty much true.

6:21--Ewan McGregor. What more can I say? He introduces the clip from 50/50.

6:22--Clive Owen (gag) and Nicole Kidman introduce the nominees for Best Screenplay.

6:23--And the winner is...Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris. He cannot be here tonight, so Nicole says, "Come and get it, Woody." Which wouldn't sound as weird if it wasn't Woody Allen...

6:23--Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy sing this funny little bit about it being an honor to be nominated. Those two are adorable together. They should get married or something. (Yes, that was a joke.)

6:24--And the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie goes to Jessica Lange for American Horror Story. Another show I've been meaning to watch. But I'm kinda scared.

6:25--Jessica Lange has ALWAYS seemed stoned to me. Always. Every time I've ever heard that woman open her mouth, I swear she's on drugs.

6:26--It's another commercial break. There sure are a lot of these...

6:31--Ricky Gervais announces the Queen of Pop ("Not you, Elton, sit down."), Madonna.

6:32--Madonna says, "If I'm still just like a virgin, Ricky, why don't you come over here and do something about it? I haven't kissed a girl in a few years. On TV."

6:33--Madonna is presenting the award for Best Foreign Language Film. Which goes to Iran's A Separation.

6:34--Iran's films win a lot of these awards and I don't think I've ever seen a single one of them. I should.

6:35--Six time Golden Globe winner Dustin Hoffman says, "Without the encouragement of my wife and my agent, I would not be here announcing the nominations and I want to thank them." (Appreciative laugh.)

6:36--The winner for Best Actress in a TV Drama goes to Claire Danes for Homeland. Hmm...Not looking so good for Boardwalk Empire tonight...

6:36--Claire says she first won this award at age 15 and when she left the stage, she was horrified because she'd forgotten to thank her parents. So she does now. And thanks her husband, Hugh Dancy.

6:38--And it's time for another commercial break.

6:42--Emily Blunt introduces the clip for Bridesmaids. Which I really did enjoy, but I think is much funnier in clip form. Melissa McCarthy looks slightly horrified as she watches herself on the screen.

6:44--Jane Lynch and Tina Fey present Best Actor in a TV Series Comedy or Musical.

6:45--The Golden Globe goes to Matt LeBlanc for Episodes. It's funny how he is so completely different from Joey Tribiani. And when did his hair turn grey?

6:47--Ooh, it's Bradley Cooper. Presenting Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture.

6:48--And the winner is: OCTAVIA SPENCER!!! Wahoo!!

6:49--She looks lovely. And kind of speechless. I love her. ("I'm trembling here. I'm gonna fall off of these high-heeled shoes.") I am so happy for her. She seriously deserved this award. She was fantastic in The Help.

6:54--Reese Witherspoon. Wait. I thought before the commercial break they said they would be coming right back for the Cecil B. DeMille award. Guess not. Anyway, Reese is introducing the clip for The Descendants. Which looks amazing.

6:55--Okay, NOW Sidney Poitier introduces the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Morgan Freeman. Remind me to tell my Sidney Poitier story sometime. His speech is very nice as he calls Morgan Freeman a Prince. "Welcome aboard, Mr. Freeman. May your journey be long and may your characters continue to multiply."

6:58--Helen Mirren comes to the stage and says, "I'm really sorry, but after Sidney I'm going to lower the tone a bit. Because I've had a few glasses of wine." And then she talks about how she's only been in one movie with Morgan Freeman ever. "So let's enjoy watching clips from many of the movies of Mr. Freeman. Most of which I'm not in."

7:02--They're still showing clips, but I totally laughed my butt off about him singing, "I love to take a bath in a casket." Dressed as a vampire. Taking a bath. In a casket.

7:03--And Morgan Freeman comes to the stage to give his acceptance speech. "I can't tell you how much it means to me to be up here, being touted by a woman I love so much. I enjoyed working with you on Red so much. But I learned one thing. Watching you handle a gun makes me realize I never want to piss you off."

7:06--He says, "It's been said that if you find what you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life. So over the past 45 years, I haven't had to work a day. Haha!"

7:11--Robert Downey, Jr. Thankfully not introduced by Ricky Gervais after what happened last time...

7:12--Introducing the clip for The Artist. I need to see this so bad. So bad.

7:13--Angelina Jolie looks like she was bitten by a vampire and her neck bled on the top of her dress.

7:14--Presenting the award for Best Director of a Motion Picture. And the winner is Martin Scorcese for Hugo. Wow. This is a surprise.

7:15--I think he might be a little surprised, too. He says his wife brought a book to him two years ago and said, "Here. Why don't you make a film that our daughter can see for once."

7:16--Ugh. Ricky Gervais again. He's gushing about Selma Hayek and Antonio Banderas. "They're probably very interesting. But I'm not sure because I can't--(my TV cut out right there.)"

7:17--Antonio says, "Ricky, let me clear it up for you," and starts ranting in Spanish. It's kind of hot.

7:18--And the winner for Best TV Series Comedy or Musical is...Modern Family.

(Dear Hollywood Foreign Press: I know I give you a hard time and all, but THANK YOU for recognizing that Glee isn't all that awesome.)

7:19--Sofia Vergara accepts the award in Spanish and Steve Levitan accepts in English. It's pretty hilarious. Sorry you missed it.

7:23--Michelle Pfeiffer introduces the clip for Warhorse. Which I want to see, but I have such a hard time with animal movies. Like, ridiculously hard time. Except for movies where the animals talk. Like Babe. I can watch those.

7:25--Wow. Steven Spielberg was emotional watching the clip from his own movie. I don't know if I can handle it.

7:26--Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Beal present Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical. And the Golden Globe goes to Jean Dujardin for The Artist. He thanks someone (I missed who) for telling him he couldn't be an actor because he got the chance to prove him wrong.

7:32--Queen Latifah gets to introduce the clip from The Help. I love this movie. So much. I hope it wins.

7:33--Ricky Gervais says, "Our next producer is British, like me. But unlike me, he's won an Oscar. Oh good for him. But what you don't know about him is that he's racist. Really racist. And I've seen him punch a blind kitten. So please welcome the evil Colin Firth."

7:34--Colin is presenting Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama. From the applause, I *think* I know who's got this one...

7:35--Guess not. Seriously? I love Meryl Streep and want to see The Iron Lady, but did anyone SEE Viola Davis in The Help??

7:36--I do love Meryl. But now I'm really annoyed. And kind of mad.

7:39--Her speech is sweet and kind of funny, but I'm mad. This was supposed to be Viola's night.

7:40--And now they follow it up with Jane Fonda. I hate Jane Fonda. Ick. And I really don't get why she's presenting the award for Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical.

7:41--And the winner is: The Artist.

7:42--This speech is making me want to see the movie even more than I've already been dying to for the last three months.

7:44--I'm still annoyed about Meryl Streep. I really need to get over this.

7:47--Ricky Gervais's joke about Natalie Portman not being nominated because she took time out to have a baby this year? Pretty lame.

7:48--Natalie is presenting Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama. The winner is George Clooney for The Descendants.

7:49--George is talking a lot about Brad Pitt. And then he told a naughty joke about Michael Fassbender playing golf with his hands behind his back. Funny!

7:50--I think that was pretty much the shortest speech of the night.

7:55--Harrison Ford! Best Motion Picture Drama goes to...

7:56--The Descendants! Writer/Director/Producer Alexander Payne (Sideways) accepts the award. For such a talented guy, he's kind of dorky and a little boring. But seriously talented. Oh, wait. He's not the one speaking. Oops!

7:57--Okay, now Alexander Payne is speaking. He's much less dorky and not boring.

7:58--Ricky Gervais thanks everyone for watching and that's the show!

This was sort of a strange year. I haven't seen most of the movies or television shows that were nominated, so I didn't feel as invested tonight. And I'm still mad about Viola Davis losing to Meryl Streep. But, oh well. The Academy will get it right next month.

Also, the Golden Globes repeat at 8pm here on the west coast. I decided to watch Ricky Gervais's monologue. He's basically making fun of the Golden Globes. He should. They're stupid for bringing him back. Although his joke about Eddie Murphy, "When the man who says yes to Norbert says no to the Oscars, you know you're in trouble."

He says, "The Hollywood Foreign Press says if I insult any of you, or offend any of you or do any of the kind, they will bring me back next year."

Yeah, because they're dumb.

Okay, his opening monologue is actually kind of funny. I'm laughing in spite of myself. But I still don't like him.

So that's the show for tonight. I hope you enjoyed! If you watched it, what were some of your favorite moments?

And be sure to click over to Handbags and Handguns for her always fabulous run down of all the year's fashion. You don't want to miss it!

(Oh, and I was 12/25 on my predictions this year. The Golden Globes are really hard for me to predict because I always forget that the HFP is lame.)

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Predicting the Globes

2012-01-13T04:30:00.000-08:00

It's always much trickier for me to predict the winners of the Golden Globes than the Oscars.

Mostly because many of the big awards are pretty figured out in a series of pre-cursor awards when Oscar time rolls around and the Golden Globes are sort of the unofficial start to that.

But also because the Golden Globes are chosen by the Hollywood Foreign Press. A small, crony-ish group of reporters for foreign news agencies. And they are so fickle and tough to pin down.

So my accuracy rate at the Globes is pretty low, but I'm going to give it a go anyway. I'm only listing who I think will win in each category. If you want to see the full list of nominees, you can click here.

Best Motion Picture-Drama
I'm torn here. But I think, ultimately, it will be:
The Descendants

Actress in a Motion Picture--Drama
Viola Davis, The Help

Actor in a Motion Picture--Drama
George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Motion Picture--Comedy or Musical
The Artist

Actress in a Motion Picture--Comedy or Musical
Charlize Theron, Young Adult

Actor in a Motion Picture--Comedy or Musical
It's going to be one of these:
Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Animated Feature
The Adventures of Tintin

Best Foreign Language Film
A Separation, Iran

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Octavia Spender, The Help

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn

Best Director of a Motion Picture
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Original Score, Motion Picture
Ludovic Bource, The Artist

Original Song, Motion Picture
"The Living Proof," The Help

Best Television Series--Drama
Boardwalk Empire

Best Actress in a Television Drama
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Best Actor in a Television Drama
I'm torn again here. One of these:
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Kelsey Grammer, Boss

Best Television Comedy or Musical
Episodes

Best Actress in a Television Comedy or Musical
Laura Linney, The Big C

Best Actor in a Television Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Downton Abbey

Best Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey

Best Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Idris Elba, Luther

Best Supporting Actress in Series, Mini-Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

The Golden Globes are this Sunday, my friends! And you can bet that I'll be play-by-playing all the action.

Even though I'm REALLY grumpy that Gervais moron is hosting again...

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Picture This

2012-01-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, my sister and I went to Disneyland.

The halls were still cheerfully decked with the last vestiges of Christmas and we stopped to savor the view of Main Street, snapping a couple of pictures together overlooking the giant tree and the snow-covered Sleeping Beauty Castle.

From there, we visited Tomorrowland, where Erin got to enjoy her first experience with the all-new Star Tours before I went and kicked her butt on the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters. I kept my camera in hand while roaming, just in case there was an unexpected photo opportunity, but distinctly remember shoving it into my bag just before the lap bar came down on my head.

By the time we got done with Buzz Lightyear, starvation was setting in and we went off in search of nourishment.

There were exactly two attractions my sister wanted to see that day. Everything else was just an added bonus. The first was It's a Small World, which is BEAUTIFUL at holiday time. So, after lunch, we made our way to Fantasyland and got in line.

We were near the front of the line when I reached into my bag to retrieve my camera, knowing there were a couple of photos I really wanted to snap inside the ride.

The camera wasn't there.

Erin was sure I'd just missed it, so I checked again.

Nothing.

I tried not to cry.

Our boat arrived and we climbed in and she asked if I wanted her to check in case there was some cranny the camera had slipped into that my panic-stricken self had missed. I flopped the bag onto her lap and insisted the camera was gone.

And then I tried my best to enjoy my one and only visit to It's a Small World for the 2011 holiday season.

It wasn't exactly a merry voyage.

Mentally retracing my steps and trying to think if I had just left the camera somewhere, I knew in my heart that it was gone. You see, just that morning when I was sticking it in my bag before we left the house, a voice whispered that if I took it with me, I'd never see it again.

I know that sounds crazy, but I swear it's true.

And while we were in line for the Astro Blasters, I inexplicably found myself thinking about those pictures people leave on their digital cameras where they're holding up signs that say things like, "Thank you for finding my camera. Feel free to keep it, but will you PLEASE send me back the memory card?"

The thought came to my head from nowhere, and I just kept thinking that I really needed to do one of those pictures.

And then my camera was gone.

I was devastated.

But also had an unexpected thought that brought a reluctant smile to my face.

Now I can get the camera I wanted.

You see, that Sony Cybershot I had was a gift. A gift from someone in my past. It wasn't the camera I chose. It was the camera he thought I should have.

And it was a great camera. I have practically zero complaints about that lovely pink Cybershot that had 800+ images on the memory card (most of which are backed up on my computer), all of which are in the hands of some stranger that I desperately hope was a teenage girl who promptly erased the whole thing instead of a creepy perv who is enjoying those pictures of my gorgeous sister.

But the camera I would have bought myself was the Nikon Coolpix.

A year ago, I was given two Amazon gift cards, totaling $65. And the other day, I earned another $40 to Amazon for a sponsored post I wrote.

I had grand plans for all that Amazon cash. And almost spent it at least a dozen times over the past twelve months. But something always stopped me. Every single time.

The Nikon Coolpix is on sale. It's temporarily out of stock, but it's on sale. And I've ordered it. And because of that great sale, I still have some of those beautiful Amazon dollars left.

I'm mad that someone has my camera. That no one saw fit to turn it in at Lost and Found. I've never been one to believe in that notion of "finders keepers" unless a thing truly cannot be returned to its rightful owner.

But at least I can console myself with the camera I wanted in the first place.

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Currently, January 2012

2012-01-11T08:39:00.000-08:00

I think it's just about time for another one of these, so here we go:

Current Book
The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King (I know. Still.)
Austenland by Shannon Hale

Current Albums
The Muppets Soundtrack

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure
I'm ridiculously (and oddly) excited that One Tree Hill is coming back tonight!

Current Drink
Coke.
Lots and lots of water.

Current Favorite Blog
Everyone who's signed up for Project 52. (winky emoticon)

Current Songs
"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri
"The One that Got Away" by Katy Perry

Current Wish-List
For some honest person to return my lost camera.

Current Needs
Breakfast. Really need to stock up my desk drawer with some supplies...

Current Triumph
Stephanie's baby shower.

Current Favorite Film
My current fave in theaters is Mission: Impossible, but I just watched The King's Speech again last night and was reminded of how much I absolutely love it.

Current TV Show
REVENGE
A Gifted Man
Castle
Once Upon a Time

Current Celebrity Crush

(Crazy Stupid Love,
Carousel Productions 2011)

Current Indulgence
Downloading music from iTunes.

Current Outfit
Jeans, black shirt, and the most comfortable Ugg boots on the planet.

Current Banes of My Existence
My sinuses, because they hate me.

Current Excitement
Hanging out with The Nephew this weekend.

Current Mood
I don't want to talk about it.

Current Picture

Disneyland, January 2012

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

2012 So Far...

2012-01-10T00:30:00.000-08:00

Let's see.

I made a decision that 2012 is going to be INFINITELY better than 2011.

Because I said so.

We're now ten days into this Best Year Ever and here's what I've got so far:

•My camera disappeared at Disneyland and it's unlikely I will ever see it again.

•I got sick with some kind of sinusy/congestion thing that is sort of a cold but more likely allergies.

•I got to transfer all my prescriptions to a new pharmacy because I'm one of the kids stuck in the middle of the Express Scripts/Walgreens divorce.

•My prescriptions are out of date and not only do I have to transfer them but wait for doctor approvals and I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW.

•I've waited four years to get jury duty again and was finally called last week. During my week off from work. And I had to call in every day at noon to see if I had to show up at 1pm. Which meant I couldn't really plan anything at all during the entire week. And then I was ultimately dismissed.

(Yes, I am the one freak in America who gets all excited about jury duty.)

•I had an awesome day at Disneyland with my sister, despite the fact that nearly all photographic evidence is in the hands of a stranger who is hopefully not creepy.

•I found a new Indian restaurant that I'm already super excited to go back to.

•Marly and I co-hosted a pretty kick-ass baby shower for our dear friend Stephanie (and made her cry happy tears) and then I announced my first retirement from baby shower hosting on Facebook. Want to go out on a high note. Until I come out of retirement to plan another one.

•And, oh yeah. My shingles came back.

So...that's my 2012 so far. I don't know. What do you think? Better than 2011?

I'm kind of thinking I can only go up from here.

I hope.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Off to a Great Start, Week 1

2012-01-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Good morning, everyone!

I hope you've all had a great first week with Project 52.

As of right now, we have 17 participants. I've visited most and am on my way to see the rest. There are some very exciting and ambitious goals out there and I can't wait to see how the year goes for all of us.

For those of you who still aren't quite sure if Project 52 is for you, or you have some goals in mind but are feeling shy about sharing them, I can tell you firsthand that sharing is one of the biggest keys to success.

Last Monday, Jennee and I both posted our lists with renewed determination to make this year a much bigger success than 2011.

On Tuesday, my friend Marly noticed #47 on my list: Find a new Indian restaurant. I've been seriously craving some good Indian food, but hadn't really searched for a decent place in a while. When Marly saw my goal, she texted me and asked if I felt like checking out this new place with her that night.

So we went.

And I have a new Indian restaurant. Punjabi Tandoor in Anaheim is fantastic.

And thus, Week 1 of Project 52 is a success.

How did you do this week? Anything fun to report? Any challenges?

If you're new here and ready to link up, please click this link to add your List to the Master Linky.

And if you have a report from Week 1, please link up below. This linky will be open all week, so you can update us anytime.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Top Ten Movies of 2011

2012-01-06T01:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's Friday now and I'm changing gears.

Because, it's that time again. Time for my Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2011.

I know. You've been pacing the floors, frantically hitting the 'refresh' button, waiting in anxious anticipation for this moment.

Well, the wait is over.

After giving it a LOT of thought, and honestly agonizing over where to put some of these on my countdown, I finally have a Top Ten for you.

Some people go to movies to be entertained or to see something new and innovative. My main purpose of watching movies is to feel something. To connect with a character or a plot or some element that makes me identify with what's happening on the screen. Sometimes I walk away feeling transformed. Sometimes I find myself in self-reflection. Sometimes I just walk away trying to hide the fact that I've just spent the last two hours crying.

And that is the basis for selecting the movies I chose this year. Some made me laugh. Some made me think. But they all made me feel.

(Oh, and my typical disclaimer: Please remember that I saw 26 movies in the theater, but only 22 that were released in 2011. There are still several more I really want to see and if I'd had a chance, I suspect this list would look somewhat different. But until I get one of those magical movie passes they give to critics, I just have to keep making do.)

And with that said...

TEN. Jane Eyre

(Focus Features, 2011)

This understated, stark film was the best adaptation of a Brontë novel I've seen. Mia Wasikowska was well-cast as shy Jane Eyre, and Michael Fassbender couldn't have been a more perfect Mr. Rochester. The bleak, colorless landscape and the isolation of the Rochester Manor and the characters fit the story well. This was a very small but powerful movie that fans of the novel are sure to enjoy.

TEN. Captain America: The First Avenger

(Marvel Studios, 2011)

I'm not a fan of Chris Evans. In fact, I was pretty mad when I found out he'd won the coveted role of Steve Rogers. The only reason I even saw the movie was in anticipation of The Avengers, which is due in theaters this summer. But I saw Captain America. I loved Captain America. And I don't even hate Chris Evans anymore.

NINE. The Muppets

(Walt Disney Studios, 2011)

Hilarious. Charming. Made me really miss the old Muppet Show. Jason Segal was fantastic, and I loved him even more when I found out he wrote it. It's pretty much a crime that this wasn't nominated for a Golden Globe. After I left the theater, I drove home, downloaded the soundtrack from iTunes and listened to it non-stop for a week. I loved The Muppets.

EIGHT. Young Adult

(Paramount Pictures, 2011)

This is not a happy movie. Not even a little bit. It's the dark, pathetic story of ghostwriter, Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), returning to her home town to win back the love of her life, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), from what she has decided is utter dreariness. Buddy, of course, is a happily married new father. Mavis chugs Diet Coke straight from the 2-liter bottle, constantly forgets to take care of her perpetually happy Pomeranian, and mopes around mourning the life she could have had while everyone around her is in awe of the life they think she has. Screenwriter Diablo Cody and Director Jason Reitman (who previously worked together on Academy Award nominated Juno) put together a really good film about a 37-year-old woman who finally learns she needs to grow up.

SEVEN. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

(Warner Bros., 2011)

I want Robert Downey, Jr. to live forever and to keep making movies with Jude Law. Those two are magical together. Hilarious. Endearing. And the rivalry between Holmes and Dr. Moriarty is simply brilliant. The two are so perfectly matched, and Guy Ritchie did a fantastic job of bringing that dynamic to life through one of my very favorite scenes in any movie this year.

SIX: Super 8

(Paramount Pictures, 2011)

What kid didn't want to make a movie with Dad's borrowed camera? Super 8 was a beautiful throwback to the movies I loved as a kid. The Goonies, Stand By Me, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. A fun story. Great performances all around. And I know I've said this before, but I'll say again that I will watch every movie JJ Abrams directs until the end of time. Because he is brilliant. Although I really wish he'd cut it out with the screen flares...

FIVE. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

(Warner Bros., 2011)

I haven't loved all of the Harry Potter adaptations, but I did love The Deathly Hallows. Both parts. Splitting the book into two movies turned out to be a pretty brilliant move because it meant that we didn't lose much of anything in the story. There were little touches I would like to have seen, but overall I was very pleased with the conclusion of one of the biggest movie franchises in history.

FOUR. We Bought a Zoo

(20th Century Fox, 2011)

Apparently, some people didn't like this movie, but I loved it. From the adorable little girl to the beautiful animals. A truly special film about a family that has to start over after tragedy. One of my favorite things about this, though, is that it started 6 months after the tragedy, instead of opening on what could have been the most depressing scene ever.

We Bought a Zoo is based on a true story, although the film is highly fictionalized. So I got home from the theater and looked up the real story of Benjamin Mee, his family, and the Dartmoor Zoological Park. Click here to read the a little about how it really happened.

THREE. The Help

(Dreamworks, 2011)

It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me horrified to know that my own parents grew up in a generation where they knew people whose grandparents were slaves. Somehow, I never had realized just how recent that was in our history. Brilliant performances. Beautiful writing and cinematography and a great adaptation of a fantastic novel. And I smell Oscars for Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer.

TWO. Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

(Paramount Pictures, 2011)

One thing you have to know about me is that if Tom Cruise is in a movie, there is about a 99.99999% likelihood that it will end up in my Top Ten list. But this one really, truly, 100% deserves to be here. Because it is AWESOME. Great story. Good humor. Good, realistic emotional depth. Really great action and especially stunts. Definitely worth watching.

ONE. Crazy Stupid Love

(Carousel Pictures, 2011)

It really was so close between my top 3, but only one could be #1. Ultimately, I chose Crazy Stupid Love because it was funny and heartbreaking and sad and happy and anxious and just perfect. And by perfect I am not referring only to Ryan Gosling's perfectly sculpted torso. There are laughs and surprises and except for one very unrealistic (but perfectly reasonable for the character) scene at the end, the movie was totally believable.

Honorable Mentions: Thor, Horrible Bosses

Worst Movie of 2011: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts. Which movies do you think should be off my list? Which ones should be added? And what was YOUR Favorite Movie of 2011??

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Support

2012-01-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

When I woke up yesterday morning and saw the green light flashing on my phone, I was suddenly filled with dread.

The post I wrote and scheduled on Tuesday night had been published. People had read it. They had commented. The secret was out. There would be no more hiding.

I cowered in fear of that flashing green light for a minute or two before finally plucking up the courage to read the comments sitting in my email inbox, steeling myself for negativity and a lot of people telling me to get over myself and suck it up. And even more afraid of the reactions of the people in my real life that I have to see and talk to on a regular basis.

(There's some serious anxiety to go right along with the depression. It's an awesome combination.)

But the first comment was incredibly kind and understanding. And so was the second. And the third.

One by one, I went through the comments that were sitting there. Notifications came in throughout the day as more responses were left.

Every single one of them was encouraging. Compassionate. Kind.

Image credit: Stephen Cuyos

The words of support were overwhelming. From friends. From strangers. From people who love me and people who don't even know me.

It was surreal. I really didn't know how to react or what to say. I still don't.

But then came the other part I wasn't expecting.

Commiseration.

I was stunned by how many people contacted me yesterday to say that they know exactly how I feel because they've been there. Or because they ARE there. Or because someone they know and love is going through the same thing.

There's a lot of depression out there.

Which is depressing in its own way.

The good news is that there is help. There's a way through it. A way that I'm still at the very beginning of trying to navigate. But I know it's there.

And along the way there are a heck of a lot of people who understand.

That means the world.

Thank you.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Truth

2012-01-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd write this post. And I really don't want to. I've put it off and tried to avoid it and it's been eating at me for a long time. But there's this nagging, persistent feeling that I need to write this. And possibly publish it, although I'm hoping that getting it all written down will really be enough.

Somehow, though, I doubt that.

But Jenny Lawson has shared some incredibly brave things in the past several days and it's helped me realize that there are some truths I really need to face.

I've been in a less-than-stellar mood over the past few weeks. Maybe months. I'm not entirely sure.

Regardless of when it started, it first became obvious to me a week or so before Christmas. I was driving home from work. It was pouring down rain and I was stuck in a terrible traffic jam, trying to get home to meet up with my girlfriends for dinner and thinking about all the things that needed to be done before Christmas. As I was inching along down the freeway, I broke down. Tears poured down my cheeks in unstoppable torrents.

The next night was a Christmas party at church and I felt so generally awful that I pretty much had all of my friends convinced that I was mad at them.

When I wasn't actually even mad at all.

A few days later, I skipped my friend Stacey's Christmas party. I wanted to go, but just couldn't do it. Instead, I got home from work, changed into pajamas and crawled under the covers until I was forced to come out the next morning.

Days passed like that. I went through the motions a lot, but my heart wasn't in any of it. Christmas shopping was a chore. Decorating never happened. I avoided Christmas music because it just made me feel worse.

I tried to pretend like everything was okay, but it really wasn't. The thoughts going on in my head were bad. So bad that I was actually worried about me. But I just couldn't bring myself to say anything about it, convinced that no one would understand. That everyone would tell me to just suck it up. Or worse, that they would somehow think I was just begging for attention.

Here is the honest, painful truth:

I've been dealing with depression for a really long time.

Wait. No. Here's the REAL honest, painful truth:

I have NOT been dealing with depression for a really long time. I've been living with it. Suffering from it. But I haven't dealt with it. Not at all.

Despite the fact that I know some good, strong, amazing people who have suffered from (and in most cases beaten back) depression, it's always felt like a weakness in myself. Like something I have to hide, or wish away, or to pretend it isn't there. Because, really, what do I have to be depressed about? I have a job, a healthy family, good friends, a nice place to live, plenty of food and even a nice car. By all accounts, my life is good.

So then I get depressed about being depressed. Like I'm not good enough for it or something.

I try to pretend that everything's fine. Just go through the motions. Get up in the morning, wash my hair, wear clean-ish clothes and go to work. Force myself to eat, even when food tastes like cardboard. Drag myself to meetings and things and pretend to care about what's going on. Pretend to KNOW what's going on. Get home, crawl into bed and lay awake for hours, wishing I could turn off my brain long enough to just get some sleep.

It goes on like this for days. Or weeks. Or, sometimes, months.

And I've never dealt with it. Partly because I just don't know how. Mostly because I'm afraid.

But after missing out on the joy of my favorite time of year, and being wracked with guilt after watching my friends back away slowly when they believed I was mad at them, there's really no denying it anymore. Something has to be done. This can't go on.

I don't know how it works. I have no idea what to do or how to go about fixing myself. But I'll figure it out. I'm tired of feeling this way. Tired of avoiding and being avoided. Of never really feeling right. Of feeling like a big, giant fraud whenever anyone commends me for my "positive attitude." It's not on my List this year, but reclaiming my mental health is my biggest goal for 2012.

It's time.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

And So It Begins...2012

2012-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've made a decision. And my decision is that 2012 is going to be a fantastic year. I'm sick of being broken and medicated and depressed and stagnant.

This is going to be a year of change for me. There isn't anything in the works yet, which is precisely the point. It's going to be different because I'm going to make it different. When the world ends on December 21 (no, I don't actually believe that) I'm going to be the best version of me I've ever been.

It starts now.

This is the beginning of the THIRD year Jennee and I have been making these goals and working on them right along with you. The first year, Jennee set 10 big goals and I attempted 65 in 365. She decided 10 was too few and I decided 65 was too many. So last year, we decided to try 52. And that's where Project 52 came from.

Fifty-two is a LOT of goals. But it's a number I feel good about. Plus, it's got a nice ring to it. But really, the name Project 52 isn't about setting 52 goals. It's about doing something with the 52 weeks of the year.

The biggest thing we've learned over the past couple of years is that accomplishing goals is a skill that can be learned and developed. It's a process. It requires effort. At least, if you're doing it right, it does. But it really is something that you learn. Even though we didn't finish everything on our lists last year, we're not giving up. We're carrying on. Going forward with lessons behind us and new lessons still ahead.

And so, once again, we invite you to join us. To share the goals you'll be working on. To encourage and support one another. To learn and to grow. Together. For the next 52 weeks. Whether you set one goal for the year, or 10 or 52 or 100, we want you to participate in Project 52. Accountability without judgment. That's what we do here.

Think about it. Even if you aren't ready to jump in today, give it some thought. The linky at the bottom will be open all year. You can sign up anytime.

(Honestly, it took me 6 weeks to finalize my list, so it's totally understandable if you need a few days.)

This isn't about me or about Jennee. This is about you. About us. Working together to do some really great things.

Want to know what I'm working on this year? Okay. Here goes:

1. Volunteer for a political campaign.
2. Go 100 days without soda. (Total, not in a row.)
3. Get rid of my storage unit.
4. Talk Amber into teaching me how to make her homemade wheat bread.
5. Go to TEN Angels games!
6. Read A Game of Thrones.
7. Open a trading account and learn how to buy and sell stocks.
8. Run a 5K.
9. Take The Nephew somewhere cool.
10. Read Les Miserables en français.
11. Buy a suit.
12. Visit Erin at school.
13. Take Stephen to a sporting event.
14. Go to a movie with Marc.
15. Have a girls day with Kristi.
16. Have a girls day with Mom.
17. Go to the Reagan Library with Dad.
18. Read the Book of Mormon in 30 days.
19. Visit 2 local museums.
20. Write a research paper. For fun.
21. Go to a state or county fair and eat something fried.
22. Go to the beach 3 times.
23. Get a new comforter for my bed.
24. Update 72 hour kit.
25. Gather a 30-day emergency storage.
26. Watch 3 documentaries.
27. Go to 2 limited release films.
28. Watch 30 movies from my Netflix list.
29. Reinvent my wardrobe.
30. Sing karaoke.
31. Visit 5 temples, one of which I haven't yet been to.
32. Go to an NFL game.
33. Go to Disneyland 15 times.
34. Get one of my photographs printed on canvas.
35. Audition for the OCMC.
36. Volunteer in the Bishop's Storehouse.
37. Go to Dallas with Jennee in July.
38. Visit my blog friends in NorCal.
39. Ride in a hot air balloon.
40. Try eggs benedict.
41. Have a fondue party.
42. Send Christmas cards.
43. Get serious about my writing. Finish novel. Submit two short stories. Enter a competition. Post on my fiction blog at least monthly.
44. Take a Spanish class.
45. Donate blood.
46. Go to a singles' event.
47. Find a new Indian restaurant.
48. Interview 2 people for the Karen Peterson project.
49. Pass the Handgun certification test.
50. Get together with 3 people I don't know very well.
51. Learn to play a song on the piano.
52. Visit a synagogue.

So. Are you ready to play? Please link up the URL to your Project 52 list. Whether that's a post on your blog, or page on your blog, or a Google Doc. Links that do not go directly to a Project 52 list will be deleted.

We are so happy to have you along for a great year!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

My Year in Numbers--2011

2011-12-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

I had a lot of fun with this last year, so I thought I'd try it again. Maybe I'll cheer up and realize the year didn't suck as much as I think it did.

Nah, probably not.

Books read: 29
Movies seen in the theater: 26
Movies watched for the first time on DVD or cable: 23
Bloggers I hung out with in real life: 9
States visited: 3
Rock climbing adventures that ended with trips to the ER: 1
Bones broken: 1
Surgeries and Surgical Procedures: 2
Doctors visited: 6
Physical Therapists: 2
Casts and Braces: 5
Itchy diseases that required medication: 1
Visits to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions: 12
Baby Showers I helped plan: 5
Times I burned, cut or otherwise injured myself during the course of baby showers: 2
Live stage performances watched: 3
Live stage performances I wished I could have gone to: 7
Heart-breaking moments that made me question my efforts in one specific area over the last four years: 1
Voodoo dolls I considered making: 3
Voodoo dolls I made: 0
Job applications submitted: 26
Job interviews: 2
5Ks attempted: 1
Miles run at the gym: dozens
Times I ate ice cream for dinner: 1948520

It was a weird year. It wasn't completely terrible. There were some good times. But I sort of feel like I lost a lot of time that I just can't get back. And this year I really learned the meaning of physical pain. I know there are plenty of people that have it worse than me. Obviously. But this experience definitely taught me empathy. And the value of good medical care and good drugs. And some patience, too.

I hope we all have a happy and healthy 2012 and that good things are coming our way. I know I could use it and I'm sure you could, too.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

You're the Tops--2011

2011-12-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

I saw this on Untypically Jia's blog and liked the idea so, naturally, I copied it.

These are some interesting factoids and some linky love to some of you who have kept me going this year. With many thanks and much love.

Top Site Referrals:
Aaron & Rachel
Aaron & Marly
Namaste By Day
Single Dad Laughing
Dennis & Roberta

Top Search Terms:
A Peek at Karen's World
Single Infertile Female
Single Dad Laughing
Susan B. Anthony
Paintballing

Top Commenters:
So Cal Gal
Alex J. Cavanaugh
Kristina P.
Charlotte
Katherine

Top Twitter Followers:
@ShortysSutures
@JenniferHillier
@notsosingle
@allthelilstuff
@namastebyday

I was going to include my Facebook followers, but I've pretty much sucked at keeping my page updated.

Anyway, thank you all so much for being awesome. For visiting and reading and for being there. It's been a tough year for many of us, but we survived and I know I, for one, have many of you to thank for that!

Here's to a great 2012!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

My Year in Status--2011

2011-12-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

I was playing around with this app on Facebook that gave me the chance to go back and look at all of my statuses for the year. It was kind of a fun way of remembering everything that happened. The good, the bad, the funny.

I present to you some of my favorites.

This is by no means a comprehensive list. One thing I learned while doing this is that I spend way too much time on Facebook.

(Sorry about numbered lists, by the way. Apparently Blogger hates bullets. Or me. Or probably both.)

January

I love when I guess the Final Jeopardy question before they even reveal the answer.
There is a spider crawling on my ceiling. It's freaking me out.
I know a lot of really funny people. It makes me happy.
It was the PERFECT day for a hike. Pictures to follow.
I love when I do something that reminds me of my ability to be brilliant. And also humble...
You know how sometimes people think they're helping a situation but they end up just making it worse?

February

After more than half an hour fighting with a very uncooperative tire jack, I have given up and am now on hold with Hyundai Roadside Assistance. The hold music is so bad I want to gouge my ears out with this stupid jack.
I'm headed out of town for the weekend with a good friend. Looking forward to some quality girl talk!
It is so ridiculously, wonderfully warm on the Central Coast today. *checks calendar to make sure it's still February.*
I love Colin Firth. I loved The King's Speech. But I think James Franco deserves the Oscar for playing Aron Ralston in 127 Hours. Wow.
Help. I'm a prisoner at the DMV.
I need a cat. I will name her Emily Dickinson.
I just finished watching The Social Network. It wasn't bad, but I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about.
It was a dark and stormy afternoon.
Dear Honda Center: Please quit tormenting me with your ads for the NKOTBSB concert coming in July. Don't you know I'm poor??
I ran a whole mile without stopping. And I didn't even die.
The older I get the more disappointed I am by people in general.
I would like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes! I have awesome family and friends. I would also like to thank the Academy for helping to make my birthday so special and for giving the Best Picture award to The King's Speech. I would have been beyond thrilled if it had been the year's actual best film, Inception, but The King's Speech was darned good, too.

March

And then it hit me. Holy crap, I'm running a 5K tomorrow. Yikes.
I totally did a 5K today.
I was trying to figure out what this rattling sound was. Took awhile to realize it was my congested breathing.
Is anyone else watching this tsunami in Japan?
To everyone who told me to check out Mumford & Sons, all I can say is: Thank you!!
I will not watch Glee. I will not watch Glee. I will not watch Glee.
I've decided the trainer at the gym was possessed by the devil when he created our new workout routine.
It frustrated me that the only word I could come up with was "hate." Then it occurred to me that "despise" is more accurate.
It is with deepest sadness that I announce the unexpected passing of my beloved Droid 2.

April

Ok, everyone, last night's hospital check-in was not a late night April Fool's joke. I did, in fact, break my wrist last night at the end of our rock climbing adventure. Details coming to my blog on Monday. If I start typing now I might finish by then. The good news? It's my right wrist and I'm left handed. The bad news? My car is a stick shift.
Correction: According to Amber, my wrist is not broken. My arm is.
When I do stuff I do it good. My radius is very broken and surgery is likely.
The existence of chocolate is proof my Heavenly Father loves me.
Okay, everyone, I am having very MINOR outpatient surgery tomorrow morning at 10:30. I'll be getting a metal plate and an awesome scar.
Five attempts and the IV is in my foot. Feeling pretty good cuz the anesthesiologist started a mild sedative. I think I like it.
Out of surgery. Survived just fine but woke up in the worst pain EVER. Mom's taking care of me. She's the best.
4 free tickets to tonight's game+free parking=1 very happy Angels fan.
Dear Michael Scott: After 7 years of making me laugh, tonight you made me cry. The Office won't be the same without you. Thanks for the memories!
So...Dr. Who...I don't even know what I don't know.

May

I am in shock. In a good way.
My right arm doesn't turn out. It feels like it was put back together backwards.
"Exsanguinated" is kind of a cool word, but creepy when you're reading a report that's about yourself.
Back to work today. So far, so good.
Apparently my arm only turns to a negative degree. And you all laughed at me when I said my arm was backward...
Made Mother's Day dinner for my mama, followed by a movie. What did she pick? Zombieland. I love my mom. ;-)
I got to hold the most perfect, beautiful newborn girl tonight. Congratulations again, Brian and Shawna!
I just introduced the Mary Kay girl to Sephora.
Bliss is suddenly remembering that you hid one last package of Girl Scout cookies.
I still have a lot of pain in my wrist, but htis week I have regained the abilities to use scissors and tie my shoes. Yippee. I'm 6 again.
Thoughts and prayers going to Missouri. Scary times, but thankfully the Missouri branch of the fam is okay.

June

My little sister is graduating from high school today. I was in high school when she was born. This is weird.
My therapist just broke up with me.
Two trips to the OR, two casts, a brace, two dozen x-rays, 10 physical therapy sessions and next a possible visit to the dermatologist to fix the scar... I could plan a pretty fance wedding for less money than Marly's rock climbing birthday party end up costing. I'm SO thankful for insurance!
I met up with a great writers' group today. It was a lot of fun. I forget how much I missed that kind of thing.
I LOVE my friends! I'm SO EXCITED for good news! But if I hear one more baby announcement this week, I'm throwing myself into oncoming traffic.
When you're recovering from a (minor) surgical procedure, does a trip to Cold Stone count as a want or a need?

July

I'm defriending the next person that passes around that fake message that Facebook is going to start charging this summer.
"If you can't do the time, do the crime in Florida."
Wow. I totally forgot to watch the All Star Game tonight. Seriously, I think when I broke my arm, I broke my brain too.
I should probably get to bed at a more reasonable hour. I fell asleep today at Physical Therapy...
There is a bird that has been chirping the same note over and over for at least an hour. Right outside my window. I'm not-so-slowly going insane.

August

I'm thankful for competent people who do their jobs.
It's weird how I was so excited to leave Utah four years ago. Now I'm not sure why.
Only in Utah can someone make a joke about the Liahona and everyone gets it.
I'm scared to see the photos...but I think Auntie Karen is the best Bouncy Castle Monster EVER.
I don't know why people say cortisone injections hurt. I barely felt anyth--MOTHER OF PEARL!! WHY IS MY ARM ON FIRE??
I was tutoring a French 101 student today and he said I should be teaching French. I could hear Dr. Godfrey laughing all the way from Utah.
After 5 months, I've been released by the orthopedic surgeon. I never thought this day would come.

September

Okay, I'm more than a little concerned that someone accessed my blog through a porn site...
Barely a 4-pointer. That's practically not even an earthquake.
Dear Facebook: Normally I don't love your changes, but I get used to them. This time? PUT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS!!!!
With these new blue-tabbed posts in the news feed, I must say I am shocked at how bad Facebook is at guessing what interests me.
And with that, the playoffs are out of reach.
Since I don't speak fluent Starbucksese, how was I to know that "Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate" actually translates to "Caffe Mocha hold the whipped cream"?

October

So I rolled over in bed last night and smacked my face against the wall. Two weeks ago, I caught the corner of my nightstand with my eye. Some people throw out their back when they're sleeping. At this rate, I'm going to cause my own blindness and a concussion.
RIP Steve Jobs.
Is it weird that I get jealous when my friends get jury duty?
I can't wait unitl November 7, 2012.
I totally want rolls from Texas Roadhouse right now. I think the closest one is 200 miles away. Boo.
Hmmm...I'm going to Stacey's Halloween party that starts in an hour. I guess I should decide on a costume...

November

Conrad Murray=Guilty.
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a giant game of Keep Away.
I'm heading out of town in an hour. I should probably pack or something.
I just sat through that whole movie and not one single vampire sparkled...
The impossible has happened. I walked into Target, bought exactly what I went in for, and left.
I've decided to start saving so that I can go on a trip to London next year. I should be fine. It wouldn't be the first time I've traveled alone to a foreign country where I don't speak the language.
My sister would rather see Happy Feet 2 than the Muppets. One of the many ways I have failed in my duties as big sister.
I wish I could travel by map.

December

That awkward moment when you have to drop your pants for the doctor and find out you have shingles.
Someone on TV just said that 1991 was 20 years ago and I went, "Nuh uh, dummy, it was only 10y...oh." Oops.
I had this dream last night that I found the most perfect pair of jeans ever and they were on sale for $10. It was really sad to look in my closet this morning and discover it wasn't real.
I want to yell really loud and kick something really hard.
If Mr. Clean Erasers were really magic, they'd go clean the bathroom for me.
Holy crap!! Elizabeth Bennet is following me on Twitter!
If anyone is looking for somewhere to go for church this Sunday, I'd recommend avoiding the Anaheim Ward. I hear they've lined up a really boring speaker...
It's Christmas Day and I'm running the air conditioner. I love living in So Cal.
My right wrist just popped for the first time in almost 9 months. It was awesome.

Aw, Facebook. Thanks for helping me keep track of what a random and crappy year it was.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Stuff I Wrote This Year

2011-12-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

Seeing as it's the last week of the year and everyone likes to do their Top Ten Lists and Recaps of everything that happened in 2011--

(And seriously, TONS of stuff happened in 2011.)

--I thought I'd do a little bit of recapping, too.

After digging through my archives and re-reading, reminiscing, laughing, and recalling tragedies, I've pulled out a favorite post from each month. My personal list of finalists was pretty short, but in the end I've found some posts that I'm pretty proud of. And I hope you'll enjoy revisiting them, too.

January: "In a Blink"
This was a post about how quickly everything can change and why I felt the need to spend more time with the people in my life.

February: "Why Being Single and Mormon in Your 30s is Like Having a Chronic Disease"
A reflection on the common bits of throwaway advice singletons typically get from the attached people in their lives.

March: "Comfort Care"
I wrote this post about the emotional toll of caring for a dying relative.

April: "Wish"
A visit to an unexpected place in Buenos Aires, Argentina provided a much needed boost to a weary traveller.

May: "Great Rejoicing"
My thoughts on the celebrations that erupted after the death of Osama bin Laden.

June: "I Can't Call Her Little Anymore"
My little sister graduated from high school and, of course, I had to write about it.

July: "If Being Single and Mormon in Your 30s is Like Having a Chronic Disease, There Has to be a Better Cure"
Why I have no interest in attending singles' events.

August: "On Regrets and Wrong Decisions"
Regret is a choice. And just because you don't regret something doesn't mean it was right.

September: "5 Simple Rules for Setting Up Your Single Friends Without Making Enemies"
There is such a stigma on setting people up and these are some strategies for doing it successfully.

October: "Proud Cultist Since 1988"
A pastor in Texas said Mormonism is a cult and I just couldn't let that go without a response.

November: "Colorful Fighting"
Some siblings use sharp objects as weapons. My brother and I reached for something a little less dangerous and a little more destructive.

December: "Karen's Blog Awards 2011"
My favorite post of the year and the most creative post I've ever written. (BTW--I have a lot of unclaimed nominee and winner badges if you want them for your blogs. Let me know!)

So those are some of my favorite posts of the year. Do you have a different one that I didn't mention? And what post did you write this year that you love?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Finale 2011

2011-12-26T13:43:00.000-08:00

27.Read the entire New Testement.
I got to Luke. I'm going to finish John this week. I won't finish the entire New Testament, but at least I'll finish the gospels.

28.Go 10 days in a row without eating fast food. 12/10
SO much easier than I thought it would be. In fact, it was so easy that I think I'm going to add it to my list for 2012 and step it up a notch.

29.Use my crock pot at least once per month. 9/12
I actually can still do this and I think I'm going to try. With help from the awesome new Slow Cooker recipe book I got for Christmas from Marc and Kristi.

30.Try 2 new recipes per month. 10/24
I could say I totally failed since I didn't even hit the halfway mark, but I still tried 10 new recipes this year. That's pretty good.

31.Read 2 classic novels.(More than 50 years old.) 2/2
I LOVE A Christmas Carol, and I thoroughly enjoyed Catch-22, which I only JUST finished. I'll be writing a review on that one for Colleen's reading blog. Hopefully I'll get it done in the next couple of weeks.

32.Read 3 non-fiction books. 4/3
I discovered I really enjoy reading non-fiction, so I'm going to make it a point to read more in 2012.

33.Attend a performance at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts or the Disney Concert Hall.
Didn't happen. Just like my apple picking fail, this is another one that reminds me I really need to be more willing to go to stuff alone.

34.Finish writing the script for the Stake Musical.
I've basically got it written, but we didn't do a musical this year, so I kind of abandoned it. It looks like we're doing a Road Show (ugh) next year, so I think this project is dead in the water. For now, anyway.

35.Travel somewhere by boat.
I'm going to take a drive down to Balboa this week and hitch a ride on the ferry. This WILL be complete.

36.Write an article or story and get it published somewhere other than my own blog.
I need to get more serious about my writing.

37.Go to the temple once per month. 9/12
I'm going this week. Three times. For sure.

38.100% visiting teaching three months in a row.
I suck.

39.Go on a ghost hunt.
Went on two ghost hunts and am now a full-fledged part of the group.

40.Find a job closer to home.
Submitted lots of applications, had a couple of good interviews. I did what I could and still have a couple of irons in the fire that could turn into something next year. We'll see.

41.Read EVERY book for Book Club BEFORE Book Club. 9/9
Done. And loved it. Even though we barely talk about the books we read, it felt great to actually have finished every single one of them.

42.Dress up for Halloween. In a real costume.
I did. And it was pretty awesome. And I've already decided on a costume for next year.

43.Send Christmas cards.
The thing that sucks most about not doing this is the fact that Emily designed some REALLY cute cards for me and then I just never got around to ordering them. I'm lame.

44.Make something crafty.
After co-hosting two baby showers, I've definitely made something crafty.

45.Take some kind of class.
I was going to take a Spanish class, but realized I just didn't have time. I plan to in the new semester.

46.Play 18 holes with dad and brother(s).
Stupid broken arm.

47.Get a houseplant or two for my bedroom and keep them alive.
It's alive! Barely hanging on, but it's still green.

48.Travel to a state I haven't visited before. (Airports don't count.)
The only states I got to this year were Nevada, Utah and Wyoming. And I've definitely visited all of them before. More travel in 2012!

49.Complete NaNoWriMo again.
Done!

50.Go to a TV show taping.
I love completing goals on accident. Went with Marly and Rachel to a special screening of The Help, and discovered that MTV was taping a segment about the movie and included interviews with Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard. It was awesome.

51.Get a credit card.
I just didn't even bother to do this. I've gotten along just fine without one. I'll see how long that lasts.

52.Go 30 days without soda. 30/30
This one was easy during the first few days, but got really tough during the last week or so. I almost caved a couple of times, but getting through the month was worth it.

So that's how I did. How about you?

And next week, we'll be opening up the list for 2012. I hope you've been thinking about your goals for the new year!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T02:57:00.000-08:00

I was asked to speak in church today. Which sounded pretty exciting when I said yes. But a little daunting when I realized that meant I was going to have to speak in church. On Christmas Day. But, I guess it came together. Here is my talk in, pretty much, its entirety:

My thoughts dwelled on a movie that used to come on TV every year on Thanksgiving night. I’d always watch it with my brother and cousins. The movie was called Santa and the Three Bears and told the story of two young bear cubs who learn about Christmas and want desperately to celebrate. Their mother, however, says that Christmas isn’t for them and insists that they all must hibernate instead. The cubs persist and eventually get to celebrate their first Christmas.

Though I always loved the happy ending those two young bear cubs (and their mother) got, I thought about how sad it must be not to experience the joy of the season, whether by not knowing what it’s all about, or because circumstances in life have taken away that joy.

One of my favorite traditions growing up happened every year on Christmas Eve. My mom would gather me and my brother under the tree and she would tell the Nativity Story. I always loved hearing her tell the story, acting out parts of it with pieces from our Nativity set. When she was finished, we would sing Silent Night and then head off to bed, filled with warmth and happiness and the anticipation of the next day. I always looked forward to that time where we took a few minutes to talk about the real reason for Christmas. It was perfect.

As I got older, I found myself wondering what it was like, not just for Mary and Joseph and the shepherds that came from the fields, but for people in other places too Did they have any idea that this miracle had taken place?

It wasn’t until I was in 7th grade and learning about the church and the Book of Mormon that I finally got an answer to that question.

In the book of Helaman, we learn of Samuel the Lamanite, who comes to the Nephites to tell them of the coming of the Savior. He explained the signs that they should watch out for and promised that all of these things would come to pass. Some believed and were converted. Others doubted and become more wicked.

As the years passed, even many who believed started to doubt. Things got so bad that Nephi, the prophet, cried to the Lord. The answer he received is found in 3 Nephi 1:13:

"Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets."

That very night, when the sun set, darkness didn’t come.

"And it came to pass that the words which came unto Nephi were fulfilled, according as they had been spoken; for behold, at the going down of the sun there was no darkness; and the people began to be astonished because there was no darkness when the night came." (vs15)

A new star appeared in the sky that night and the ‘more part of the people did believe and were converted unto the Lord.” (3 Nephi 1:22)

It’s important that the birth of the Son of God would be proclaimed to all the world, that all may know of this more beautiful and sacred of moments in history. No one was forgotten.

In Luke 2, when the angel appears to the shepherds to proclaim the Holy Birth, he says, “Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be for all people”

All people.

About a week ago, I found myself in a surprising conversation. Someone asked the question, “Why do non-Christians celebrate Christmas?” I was so stunned, not only by the question, but by the implication of it. That somehow Christmas belongs only to those who fully appreciate and understand it.

What a tragedy it would be to deprive anyone of the opportunity to celebrate this wonderful time of year. This blessing was given to all of us and is ours to celebrate as we will.

Every year, Christmas seems to start earlier. Store displays are now going up in August. And sales are going well into the season. Just this morning I received an email offering last minute gifts online.

It’s easy to get bogged down in the gifts. To feel inadequate when finances don’t cooperate and our generosity must necessarily bee more in spirit than in the tangible. I’m not going to lie. Christmas is FUN when you have the money to spend on your loved ones. But I’ve found that my most memorable and joy-filled times are the years when I can’t afford lavish presents. When I’m not stressing about the perfect gift and am, instead, focusing my attention on the recipient.

President Thomas S. Monson said at this year’s First Presidency Christmas devotional:

“I, with you, have witnessed during the past few days and weeks what has become over the years the annual commercialization of Christmas. I am saddened to see Christmas becoming less and less about Christ and more and more about marketing and sales, parties and presents.

“And yet, Christmas is what we make of it. Despite all the distractions, we can see to it that Christ is at the center of our celebration. If we have not already done so, we can establish Christmas traditions for ourselves and for our families which will help us capture and keep the spirit of Christmas.”

There are many ways to keep Christ at the center of our celebration. By studying his life and following his righteous, perfect example. We can take this time to be kinder to one another. Lending a listening ear to someone who is grieving or otherwise suffering. Simply being kind to a stranger, even if they might have just cut in line at a store.

Christmastime is a gift given to us by our Father in Heaven. It is time to spend with loved ones and perform service and focus on the things that really matter.

A friend of mine recently wrote:
“What is it about this time of year that brings this sudden euphoria and feeling of giving and love? Is it because we hear the radio stations jammed with Christmas songs? Is it from the distinct feel of giving around us as evident in the newly fallen snow? What is it that makes us all a little more forgiving of each others’ mistakes and shortcomings?

“I firmly believe that the sense of joy does not come from presents, it doesn’t come from snow, or even the music. Yes, each of these may attribute to the real reason, but in essence, I believe that Christmas comes from the feeling we feel deep inside our hearts. It is the love of family, the remembrance of those whom have come in—and perhaps out of—our lives but who have made a distinct mark, one that helped to shape us into the individuals which we are- and the type we have yet to become.”

(It’s a good thing Christmas doesn’t depend on snow or we’d be in a lot of trouble here in Southern California.)

Focusing on each other and on our Savior makes the entire season merrier. Makes us happier. Helps to make this a truly wonderful time of year.

As the Grinch discovered after his thwarted attempt to steal Christmas:

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!” And he puzzled three hour, ‘til his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Christmas isn’t something that can be bought. It can’t be gift-wrapped or covered in ribbon. And yet, it is a wonderful gift.

It is my hope that we can all enjoy today for what it is. That we can spend it with people we love. That we can feel the deep and abiding love our Savior has for us. This truly is the most wonderful time of year. And remembering what it is truly about can help us carry that wonderful feeling with us all throughout the year.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

A Flicker of Christmas Spirit

2011-12-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

I have to start by saying thank you to all of you for the kind words and thoughts regarding my last post. I'm sorry it was such a downer, especially in the week leading up to Christmas, but I'm more sorry that I've been feeling that way at all.

Things have been getting a little better each day as Christmas has approached. I honestly love Christmas so much and haven't been the least bit Bah Humbug about it, despite how it might sound.

But last night I had the tiniest of experiences that really helped shift me into the right spirit. It's funny how something so small and probably insignificant to someone else can change you, even for just a moment.

I had to run into one of my favorite stores for two quick things. I don't want to sound like I'm bad-mouthing the store when I tell this story, since instead of calling it by its proper name, I'll just call it..."Bullseye" for the sake of this post.

(By the way, "bullseye" is a weird word when you see it spelled out.)

By some miracle, I found a parking spot really close to the doors and dashed inside. I randomly ran into a friend in one aisle and we chatted and stuff while each looking for a couple of things we needed, then parted company when I had finished my shopping and she continued hers.

And then I went to the registers.

I got into the shortest line, which is almost always bad luck. As soon as I got into line, the cashier turned off his light and announced that his line was closed.

Grrr.

So I got out of that line and stepped into the next.

An older woman in a sweater that was an annoying shade of blue and had been waiting in a third line stepped over and looked at him with big, Golden Retriever eyes and said, "Oh, but I just have four things. Couldn't you please help me?"

As he nodded and allowed her into his line, I looked down at the two items in my hand and suddenly wanted to leave them on the shelf and walk right out the door. But I needed them and had already waited, and leaving now would mean I'd just wasted a lot of time and energy. Both of which have been in short supply lately.

A girl in front of me (who had three things in her hands) turned around and we bantered a bit about how irritating that entire moment had been and I said, "Bullseye really needs an express lane at this time of year. Well, really ANY time of year, but especially now."

She agreed and right then we noticed that a fourth line had suddenly become devoid of customers and no one had noticed. Which was right when that cashier shut off her light.

Grrr again.

Well, this young lady in front of me decided to try that old lady's trick. "Will you hold my place in line while I go ask if she'll take me?"

"Of course," I said. I figured if she didn't, I was in no worse place in line, and if she did I was at least one transaction closer to freedom.

The cashier took her and so I stepped forward one position and continued to wait. The transaction that was currently in process was taking way too long.

The girl came back over to me while the cashier was finishing ringing her up and said, "Come over here."

"Is she going to take me?" I asked.

"She said she would. I told her we came her together."

I ran to the next lane, put my purchases onto the conveyor belt and was finished within just a minute or two. I turned to thank the girl, but she had disappeared into a sea of shoppers bound for the parking lot.

I thanked the cashier profusely and she told me she was willing to put off her break for a minute if it meant helping someone else out.

That is some real customer service.

And it melted my icy heart just a little.

So, to the mysterious shopper and the girl who was on checkstand 12 at the Bullseye in Garden Grove last night, thank you.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

"Tradition is the illusion of permanence." -Woody Allen

2011-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

The tree glittered with reds and golds and greens, sending showers of light reflecting off glass balls and hand-painted ceramic and the shiny plastic wrapping of candy canes. It was a perfect Christmas tree, alive and fragrant. The effort of tromping through muddy rows to select it had been worthwhile as I laid beneath its branches, surrounded by mounds of presents, wearing brand new pajamas and listening as my mother told the story of Jesus's birth while acting out some parts with pieces of an old Nativity set. Afterward, we sang Silent Night. There was straw missing from the top of the stable and the paint had worn off some of the figures. Poor baby Jesus had a colorless nose and the robes of the wise men were looking shabby.

But I loved that Nativity scene and all our traditions so much that I made my mom repeat the story every Christmas Eve until I was well into high school and she decided I was old enough to do it myself. It was never the same when I told it.

We had a lot of holiday traditions in our house. Decorating cookies. Trimming the tree--always real, never artificial. Hanging our stockings by the chimney with care. Creeping down the hall on Christmas morning to retrieve our overflowing stockings and taking them into our parents' room to open them while Mom and Dad slowly became conscious and ready to face our excitement.

Those traditions have faded now. Alive and well in my rose-colored memory, but dimming ever so slightly with each passing year.

I hadn't thought much about it until recently when I started seeing elves appear on the shelves of many of my friends and Facebook buddies. And then last week I read this post by Colleen about Christmas traditions. I've read plenty of others, but hers was the one that did it.

Everything was fine. I was enjoying the all-too-quickly approaching holiday. Preparing for parties and planning the gifts I couldn't wait to share with people I love. Deciding which cookies to make for my co-workers and friends.

Everything is no longer fine.

I can't stop thinking about those traditions from my childhood. The ones I always dreamed of sharing one day. Of passing on.

The traditions that are forever committed to my memory because I have no one to continue them with.

There will be no ears listening in rapt attention as I share the story of Jesus's birth. No padding of tiny feet as children come bounding into my bedroom, full of eagerness as they describe the bounty that Santa delivered.

I'm not alone at Christmas. I know I will never need to be alone at Christmas. But everything is changing around me and it becomes more apparent with each passing year.

I used to put on blinders so that I could get through the holiday without lamenting the fact that there was no special someone to shop for. No one to walk with hand-in-hand on a tour through Christmas light displays. No date to the parties and to the family dinner.

And I could handle that. Surviving the holidays as a single person isn't that hard. I'm used to it. I've done it for years.

But this. I was blindsided by this.

Because, for the first time, I've started to realize what being single at Christmas really means.

It means there will be no elves on my shelf. That there will be no one to brag about in the annual letter. No waiting in long lines to pay for a blurry, over-priced photo of crying children sitting upon the knee of a slightly creepy stranger. No one fighting as we try to take the annual Christmas card photo. And it means that when and where I see my family will always depend on the schedules of those with children and in-laws.

There's been no shopping. No baking of goodies. No interest in the Christmas parties. The spirit of the season has fled.

I love Christmas. It really is my most favorite time of year.

I'm just going to have to find a new way to appreciate it now.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Week 51

2011-12-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

Over the last few weeks, I've given some tips and strategies for getting started and having a successful year of goals and accomplishments. This week and next I'm going to be going through my own list to see how I've done in 2011.

(Hint: It wasn't as productive as I hoped it would be...)

1. Go apple picking.

My rule in 2012 is going to be: Wait for no one. I really wanted to do this but was apprehensive about going alone and made very loose plans that never worked out.

2. Go to 10 Angel games. 5/10

Five games isn't bad. But did you hear? We just got Albert Pujols. I want to go to 61 games in 2012.

~~3. Go to 1 Angel game outside of California.~~
3. Have a blogger meetup in Utah.

Partway through the year, Jennee and I decided to give everyone a chance to trade in a couple of goals that we could definitely not finish. After careful study of the Angels calendar, I knew I wasn't going to make it. So I decided to have a meetup in Utah instead. Many thanks to Emily and Kristina for making that one possible! Celina and Jamie, I'm so sorry I didn't get to meet you and I hope to next time!

4. Read the Dark Tower series. 1/7

I'm on the second one and am still crazy enough to believe I can finish them all in two weeks...

5. Read the Chronicles of Narnia. 7/7

That was a great journey. But I still hate the ending.

6. Host a fancy dinner party.

Didn't happen. Maybe next year.

7. Launch small online business.

It's happening this week. For no particular reason other than to get it done.

8. Go to a blog/writing conference.

I planned on going to the Casual Bloggers Conference but they canceled it. I wanted to go to BlogHer but couldn't afford it. I also wanted to go to Bloggy Boot Camp but didn't buy tickets in time. And writing conferences were out of my price range, too. Just wasn't my year.

9. Send queries to 10 agents. 0/10

Since they generally prefer that you've already completed the manuscript, this will have to happen in 2012.

10.Get a DSLR.

Maybe one day.

11.Donate blood.

Because of my surgery and then having to take some variety or other of painkillers for months, this one is going to have to wait, too. But I'm counting it finished since I volunteered at a blood drive.

12.Try Zumba.

I'm off the week after Christmas and am going to try to do it then.

13.Buy black boots.

I think I just accidentally bought some from Shoe Dazzle. Yay.

14.Spend a weekend away from home--alone.

This was going to happen early in the year, but I invited a friend who really needed to get out of town. And then I was indisposed for awhile and there hasn't really been a good weekend since.

15.Interview an actor, a writer, and a singer.

I had a couple of plans but they never quite worked out.

16.Attend a city council meeting.

Unfortunately, my city council meets on the same night I watch my grandmother and I just never got it together to go during the weeks that I wasn't helping my mom.

17.Run a 5K for a cause.

It's been one setback after another for me. I was supposed to run on December 10, but the stupid shingles settled on my sciatic nerve and kept me immobile.

18.Ask someone who intimidates me to write a guest post for my blog.

Right now, you all kind of intimidate me. Anyone want to write a guest post?

19.Write an awesome guest post for someone else.

The general consensus was that it was awesome. I still have my doubts.

20.Study Spanish.

I have a little bit. But nothing formal.

21.Have a Lord of the Rings day.

Thank you, five weeks of medical leave!

22.Complete Emily's TV challenge and invite others to join in.

Not only did I complete it, I got totally addicted to Psych and now mourn the cancellation of Veronica Mars. And I've tried Drop Dead Diva, I just couldn't really get into it. But I'll give it another go during my break.

How about you all? How many of you checked out The Walking Dead? Community? Something else?

23.Order business cards.

I have no idea why I didn't do this.

24.Organize the music on my iPod.

I have playlists. Lots of playlists. It's a beautiful thing.

25.Create a budget.

Creating the budget was the easy part.

26.Stick to the budget for three months in a row. 3/3
You know, the longer I work with this budget, the easier it's gotten. I don't stick to it 100%, but I'm shocked at how much easier it is to keep track of my money and where it's going. And how much I've been wasting. Talk about an eye-opener!

So that's where I'm at so far. Could be better. Could be a lot worse. I'll take it.

How have you done this year?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Deja Vu: I Gave at the Office

2011-12-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

DL Hammons from Cruising Altitude 2.0 is hosting the Déjà Vu Blogfest today. Similar to the Flashback Fridays I did this summer. For today's blogfest, I chose something I wrote last Christmas about giving. Not gifts to friends and loved ones, but to the many charities that ask for help this time of year.

I ran to the grocery store the other night to pick up one quick thing I needed for Book Club. As I walked into the Albertson's I recently swore to never again frequent--

(Because when I say "never" I really mean "eventually...")

--there was someone dressed in a white uniform carrying a red bucket. I see these folks often. They aren't from the Salvation Army, but from some other church and they've hit me up for spare change outside the grocery store, at Angels games and even at a concert or two. They're everywhere.

I politely declined and dashed into the store, found what I was looking for and was at the register in under three minutes. Where I was asked if I would like to donate a dollar to feed starving children this Christmas.

It's only a dollar.

And it's for the children, after all.

How could anyone say no to that?

I said no.

Just like I did the last time they asked me to donate a dollar to some cause or another.

And I felt guilty about it. Just like I did last time.

I'm sure they are all worthy causes. Anything that involves helping others, even if it's only a percentage that actually reaches the ones in need, is worthwhile.

But if I gave away a dollar every time someone asked for one, I'd soon have no dollars left for myself. And as someone who now has a monthly car payment and this ridiculous habit of eating food once in awhile, and a diva-esque desire to sleep under a roof instead of under the stars, I have to hang onto some of those dollars.

I already give 10% of my income to the church. Plus some extra, when I can spare it. Can't have those missionaries eating ramen noodles for two years. And I donate a lot of spare time and energy to working with women at church, plus a heck of a lot of free time volunteering with the Job's Daughters. I bought a beautiful fresh Christmas wreath from my step-sister's kids' school fundraiser. I went to Paraguay this summer with Habitat for Humanity (for which I did some fundraising myself). I donate clothes and furniture to a local Goodwill or Deseret Industries, and I sometimes give few bucks to the random guy at the gas station so he can do a crappy job washing my windshield.

I already give.

A lot.

So why do I feel guilty about not giving just one dollar to feed those starving children?

I guess because it really is only a dollar, after all.

But when is enough, enough?

I mean, to be honest, I really do wish I could snap my fingers and give everyone everything they needed, plus a lot of what they want. But that's just not how it works.

So, instead, I have to choose which causes to support. Which is fine. I can do that.

I'm just not sure how to say no without looking like a cheap jerk.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

They Announced the Golden Globe Nominees This Morning and I Have a Few Thoughts....

2011-12-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

The Golden Globe nominees were announced this morning. Here are some of the thoughts I had while looking through the list:

The Descendants? What the heck is that? Why is there a movie nominated for Best Motion Picture that I haven't even heard of?

Why does Tilda Swinton keep getting nominated for stuff?

Crazy, Stupid, Love really should have been nominated in the Comedy or Musical category. Lame that it wasn't.

And also, why wasn't The Muppets nominated?

Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet are both nominated for Best Actress for Carnage and I haven't heard of that either? What is going on here?

And speaking of Best Actress in a Comedy, Kristen Wiig? Seriously? The movie was funny, but she was just okay.

Ryan Gosling for Crazy, Stupid, Love?? Awesome!

The Best Animated Feature category is looking a little...unimpressive. Where were all the good animated flicks this year?

I really need to see more foreign films.

Octavia Spencer and Jessica Chastain were both nominated for The Help? That's fantastic! But really too bad they couldn't just nominate the whole cast.

Jonah Hill is nominated for a Golden Globe? Another sign that the world must surely be ending in 2012.

The directors and screenplays that were nominated just don't sound that exciting to me. This year is weird.

Same with Original Score, though I'm always a fan of Howard Shore and John Williams.

Best Original Songs...blah.

Dexter isn't nominated for Best Television Series? I think the apocalypse has already started.

Madeleine Stowe's Best Actress in a TV Drama is a semi-pleasant surprise. I love that show, I appropriately hate her character, but I wouldn't say she's the best.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE HFPA?? No nomination for Michael C. Hall? Seriously?

And why do I live in a world where Kelsey Grammar keeps getting nominated for stuff? Honestly.

Yay! New Girl is nominated! I love that show. And I love Zooey Deschanel.

And this is a surprise. Johnny Galecki was nominated over Jim Parsons?

And I'm pretty disappointed that Steve Carrell wasn't nominated for The Office. That's shameful.

I can't believe Sharktopus wasn't nominated for Best Motion Picture made for TV. Shocking.

Something's wrong. Judi Dench and Helen Mirren weren't nominated for anything?

Overall, the biggest surprise for me was how many of these movies I haven't even heard of, and how many new shows were nominated. It looks like they're finally mixing things up a little bit this year. Awards season is going to be strange in 2012.

The 69th Golden Globe Awards will air live on NBC on Sunday, January 15, 2012. You can find the entire list of nominees here.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Blog Awards 2011

2011-12-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

It was so obvious that I can't believe I didn't think of it myself.

Jennee asked me yesterday if I was going to be announcing the winners as I do every award show. In play-by-play format.

Honestly, it hadn't even occurred to me. But I have a bit of a reputation to uphold, and I pretty much had to. So, like any other award show, I invited all your favorite celebrities to come and present our very first Blog Awards.

They all turned me down.

So I called upon a few less famous friends for help. And now, on with the show!

Oh, but before we get to that, I wanted to let you know that you are ALL winners and yada yada yada. Thank you to everyone who was part of this process at every stage. I did not choose the winners. You did. Also, there are awards for ALL nominees (semi-finalists included) and awards for the winners. I'm not going to track you down to give you your award. If you want it, email me (apeekatkarensworld(at)gmail(dot)com) with your blog name and category and I'll get you the appropriate award.

Okay?

Now, for reals, ON WITH THE SHOW!

6:02pm--There's a brilliant song and dance number sung by our host for this evening, Karen Peterson. There has never been a musical spectacular like it in all the Blog World. Everyone in the audience jumps to the their feet in a standing ovation before she's evening finished. Amazing. Simply amazing.

6:17pm--Karen looks stunning in a gorgeous, flaming orange gown and the most beautiful shoes ever. Who is her designer?? She does a hilarious monologue about all the talented bloggers that weren't nominated, and all the nominees that won't win.

6:25pm--Our first presenters tonight are the girl who played the middle daughter on Charles in Charge and Wesley from Mr. Belvedere. They're presenting the award for Favorite New Blog.

6:27pm--Their banter is really awkward. Someone needs to take the microphone away.

6:31pm--And the winner is: Just a Chick in a Chair!

6:32pm--So Cal Gal wheels up onto the stage looking fabulous in black. She gives a delightful acceptance speech and thanks the people that forced her to give up her old blog and start a new one in 2011, without whom, this award would not have been possible.

6:38pm--Karen is back after her first costume change. Now she's in this weird green dress that looks like weeds. She tells a joke about 80s television shows, but it falls flat because no one seems to remember Kate and Allie.

6:40pm--The next presenter is David Gould, the very first person ever fired on The Apprentice. He's here to present the award for Best Kept Secret.

6:41pm--He is surprisingly funny and tells all kinds of jokes about Donald Trump's hair. The audience loves him.

6:44pm--And the winner is--Oh, wait! It's a TIE! The Best Kept Secret awards go to: Barlow Stars and (Not) So Single!

6:45pm--Stephanie and The Mrs. race to the stage. Stephanie sticks out a foot and tries to trip The Mrs., but she jumps right over and gets to the microphone first, smiling like nothing ever happened. She mostly wants to thank her husband, but then Stephanie grabs the microphone and starts comparing life to an episode of the Muppets.

6:58pm--The dog from How the Grinch Stole Christmas introduces the first of the Favorite Blog of the Year nominees: And Then She Was Like Blah, Blah, Blah.

7:03pm--Karen comes back after another costume change. This time she looks like she's on fire. I think she's trying to channel Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. We'll have to wait for the movie to know for sure, but I'm thinking Katniss wore it best.

7:05pm--And to present the award for Favorite Pee-in-Your-Pants Funny Blog is...Ben Stein.

7:06pm--He doesn't tell any jokes. Just gets right to the winner which is: Thee Bergdorf Brunette!

7:07pm--Jessica does the parade wave as she approaches the stage, then thanks everyone she's ever met in her entire life, but most especially Katy Perry.

7:14pm--Tyler Bunch, who recently played Foozie the Moopet, presents the next Favorite Blog of the Year nominee: Barlow Stars.

7:19pm--Next there is a big musical montage of auto-play songs found throughout the blog world. It's super loud and sounds like a big old mess.

7:34pm--Karen, now wearing a much simpler blue gown presents the next award herself: Favorite Inspirational Blog.

7:36pm--The winner is: Gitzen Girl. Sadly, Sara could not be here tonight because she passed away in September. But her sister is here to accept the award on her behalf.

7:41pm--Next, Karen introduces The Nephew, who just stands on stage and looks adorable for ten minutes.

7:51pm--To present the award for Favorite Blog by a Parent are Kate Goslin and Nadya Suleman, who banter about how much they appreciate all the people who raise their children for them.

7:56pm--Kate shoves Nadya off the stage and announces the winner: I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor!

7:57pm--Helene is on her feet, but her kids jump up onto the stage before she gets there. Landon and Garrett fight over who gets to talk into the microphone while Cole makes funny faces into the nearest camera and Bella twirls her pink sparkly dress. Helene finally gets to the stage and thanks everyone for laughing with her instead of at her.

8:09pm--The next presenter is the narcoleptic customer from that episode of Punky Brewster where Cherry and Punky think they killed a guy. He's presenting the next nominee for Favorite Blog of the Year: Sleep Talkin' Man!

8:13pm--There's a song and dance number featuring rejected American Idol contestants. Simon appears from backstage and tells them they are all terrible and need to go home. The audience boos Simon.

8:25pm--Karen appears in some sort of weird dress that sort of looks like a wedding dress and starts singing "All the Single Ladies." Then she announces the presenters for Favorite Single's Blog: Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi.

8:36pm--After a few minutes of bickering and agreeing that it really was better for the entire world that they broke up, Vienna starts to open the envelope but Jake accidentally knocks it out of her hand. She gets mad and then they make out. And then Ben, the next Bachelor runs onto the stage and announces that the winner is: Thee Bergdorf Brunette!

8:38pm--Jessica sidesteps the very distracted Jake and Vienna and thanks everyone for the second award, especially her BFF, Katy Perry.

8:44pm--Karen comes back onto the stage dressed as William Shakespeare and does a dramatic reading of a excerpts from novels published by bloggers in 2011.

9:37pm--Stephenie Meyer presents the award for Favorite Blog About Writing to: I can't believe it! We have another tie! The winners are Alex J. Cavanaugh and The Serial Killer Files!

9:39pm--Alex and Jennifer are both ridiculously polite, each trying to insist that the other speak first. They finally settle on thanking their fans together.

9:42pm--Karen has switched from gowns to pants and is now in a bright yellow suit. She announces Copernicus the homicidal monkey, who introduces the next nominee for Favorite Blog of the Year: The Bloggess!

9:47pm--To present the award for Favorite Crafty-Type Blog is Martha Stewart. As she walks onto the stage, the entire set instantly becomes more festive.

9:50pm--The award for Favorite Crafty-Type Blog goes to: The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking!

9:51pm--Kelly walks onto the stage in a beautiful gown, takes one look at her award and instantly changes it to teal. Then she wishes everyone a very crafty Christmas.

9:57pm--Karen comes back out. She's now ditched the suit and is wearing jeans and a sweater. And she introduces the next presenter, Michael Emerson, who presents the award for Favorite "Other" Blog. How a propos.

10:00pm--Michael Emerson reminisces about his days as an Other and then he calls out the Smoke Monster to frighten away the nominees. The last one standing is our winner: Blondesense and Nonsense!

10:02pm--Shawna, looking fabulous, expresses her gratitude for the award, for everyone who voted, and most especially that her baby didn't have a blow out all over her dress.

10:06pm--Gordon Ramsey introduces the final nominee for Favorite Blog of the Year, The Pioneer Woman Cooks! Most of his remarks have to be edited for content.

10:11pm--There is another musical montage of all the year's nominated posts. Things are a little awkward when they attempt to find rhyming words for parts of The Bloggess's post, "Knock Knock Mother F-----."

10:25pm--Karen introduces Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. They are presenting the award for Most Inspiring Post.

10:29pm--Lindsay chews on her fingernails while Miley sings her jokes and laughs a lot. Annoyed, Lindsay grabs the envelope and announces that the award goes to Our Lovely Life for the post, "I Will and I Can."

10:42pm--Realizing the show is running long, Karen says that the next presenter picked the wrong time to run to the bathroom, so she's just going to present the award for Funniest Post.

10:43pm--The winner is The Bloggess for her post "Knock Knock Mother Fu---- Revisited." Unfortunately, she seems to have left the room and so the award is accepted on her behalf by Beyoncé, the Giant Metal Chicken.

10:48pm--Presenting the award for Most Helpful Post is the guy who invented the Demotivational Posters.

10:49pm--He says awards are for people who can't think of better ways to get attention. He looks pointedly at Karen as he says this. And then he announces that the award goes to I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor for the post, "What I wish someone had told me about marriage."

10:51pm--Helene comes back to the stage and says that she is grateful to win this award, and also that her children have bedtimes.

10:54pm--To present the award for Most Thought-Provoking Post is Jack Handey.

11:01pm--After sharing some Deep Thoughts about winning, and also about swashbuckling, he announces that the winner is Emily's Thought Blog, for the post "Monday Means 'What the...'"!

11:03pm--Emily thanks everyone for their votes and publicly calls on Arby's to pull their terrible commercial and make a formal apology.

11:14pm--Karen, now in pajamas and yawning comes back to the mike to personally announce the Favorite Blog of the Year.

11:15pm--The winner is And Then She Was Like Blah Blah Blah!

11:16pm--The music starts playing as Ru is trying to give her acceptance speech. Karen apologizes for letting the show run over and begs everyone to come back next year!

11:18pm--And that's our show, my friends! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Though I doubt that very much.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Week 50 (Again)

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

In my efforts to make time slow down, I'm going to start repeating weeks.

Not sure how it happened, but someone was a little off in counting and got a week ahead of schedule, so I think this is actually week 50 and last week was 49. Who knows how long my weeks have actually been off.

But, oh well. It happens.

What matters is that our year is barreling to the end and holy crap how is Christmas only 13 days away?

I promise to get back to updating my own list for you, because there HAS been some progress, but today I want to continue with how to set goals and actually do them.

If you'll recall, the last few weeks we've talked about:

Step 1: Brainstorm the List
Step 2: Pare down the List
Step 3: Hone the List

And this week, I want to talk about Step 4: Plan the List.

A wise man once quoted another wise man to me when he said, "A goal without a plan is just a wish."

I have no idea who originally said it, but I can promise that it is SO TRUE.

Now, there does need to be a little room for spontaneity in your List, and there will be things that get crossed off just because you happen to click on a link to sign up for free tickets to a screening of a movie you're dying to see and you get selected for those tickets and then find out that they're also filming a segment for a TV show and low and behold, you've managed to accomplish your goal of attending a TV taping.

It happens.

And you have to leave yourself open to those possibilities, because it's pretty awesome when they do.

But, for the most part, you're going to need to do a little bit of planning so that you don't wake up on December 12 and realize that you only have three weeks left to finish everything.

Now, to start off, I LOVE calendars. Love them. I mostly love writing on them, which is why I get one that's big enough to write on and still read what I wrote later. My preferred calendar for this type of thing is this one:

I buy them at Staples for, like, 3 bucks and then hang it on the wall behind my bedroom door. It's out of the way, but still in a place where I can see it.

I also LOVE color, so I got a 12-pack of the bright and cheery fine-point Sharpies. I try to keep certain things the same color. Like birthdays. And church activities and work-related things and doctor's appointments. If there's a recurring type of event, I'll choose one color for it and stay consistent throughout the year. It's a personal thing, but that helps me keep straight with what's coming up by just a glance.

Next, I go through the calendar and mark things that I know have to happen around certain times. I jot down birthdays and graduations and whatever else I already know about. And I also take advantage of that space at the bottom of the calendar that is reserved for Notes. That's where I scribble in things like "NaNoWriMo" for November, because I already know if I'm doing NaNoWriMo, it has to be in November.

I do that with my whole list. Anything that is specific to a season or month but might not have a specific date, I make note of it on the appropriate pages of my calendar. This helps keep track of what's coming up, but also helps with the next part, which is filling in with other things.

So now you're looking at your List and at your calendar and you've got a whole bunch of goals that don't have a place yet. Before you stress yourself out thinking you have to plan every last thing, be sensible. Give yourself some wiggle room. But also try to figure out when you might like to do some of those things. Try to spread them throughout the year so that you don't get your whole list finished before the summer, or so that you aren't trying to cram a bunch of tasks or expenses into one part of the year.

You do need to allow some flexibility, because anything could happen. You might contract an Old People Disease or find yourself needing unexpected surgery, or get a job transfer or any number of possibilities. Don't be so strict with your plan that you can't make changes as your needs change. But give yourself some vision of what the year is going to look like. That's what will help keep you going.

How did you do this week? Link up and share. And be sure to see what Jennee's been up to.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Choosing Hope

2011-12-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

Every time I turn around, it seems that someone is releasing a new study about how something else could potentially give us cancer.

And it would be easy to focus on that and get scared by it.

On the other hand, it seems that every time I turn around, I hear about a new treatment or a new study or some other sign that there is hope on the horizon.

The truth is, I'm a little bit scared of cancer. It's mean and aggressive and it doesn't care which political party you belong to or which church you go to, or whether you are rich or poor. If it wants you, it can find you.

But then I watch videos like the one posted below, and I think about the friends and acquaintances and members of my family who have faced their own diagnoses and treatments and mixed outcomes and I realize that cancer doesn't have to be scary unless we let it. We get to choose what to focus on. Whether it's the disease or the treatment, the illness or the time spent with loved ones is up to us.

There are so many advances being made. Just this morning I heard about another group that is waiting for approval from the FDA to start trials on a procedure that could eventually lead to an actual cure.

Some will immediately disregard that and proclaim that there is no cure for cancer.

I choose to look at the positive. Because I know one day we'll live in a world where there IS a cure. And I hope I get to be here to see it.

This post is sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Buddy Up

2011-12-07T22:25:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that I LOVE television.

A lot.

I love well developed stories, but there are few things that bring more joy to my heart than witty banter between great characters. And there's just something special about the buddy relationships between guys and the way some of those relationships are portrayed these days.

Here are five of my favorite dynamic duos currently on TV:

Mr. Finch and Mr. Reese, Person of Interest

(Michael Emerson and James Caviezel)

CBS

Mr. Finch: Nice room.
Mr. Reese: I took the liberty of booking the whole floor. Your card.
Mr. Finch: Guess I can use the miles."

Flynn and Provenza, The Closer

(Tony Dennison and G.W. Bailey)

TNT

Provenza: Where the hell have you been? The game starts in ten minutes.
Flynn: It took me a half an hour to get this piece of crap started. I think we should take your car. I'm just sayin'.
Provenza: Dodgers/Giants. Rez vs. Schmidt. Skybox tickets! And we're late because you bought the only car they ever stole in Mexico and brought here to sell!

Steve McGarret and Danny 'Danno' Williams, Hawaii Five-0
(Alex O'Laughlin and Scott Caan)

CBS

McGarrett: Take that tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.
Danny: Oh yes, they do. They do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they're bored.
McGarrett: Okay, put it in your pocket. You can kill yourself later.

Shawn Spencer and Burton 'Gus' Guster, Psych

(James Roday and Dulé Hill)

USA Network

Gus: So now I have a cat?

Shawn: An orange tabby. Last Christmas you made her a tiny Santa hat and she adores it.
Gus: Fantastic. I can't even have a make-believe boy cat.
Shawn: Gus, a boy cat would never serve my purposes nearly as well. Next time I need you, Pickles is having kittens.
Gus: Pickles?
Shawn: Mrs. Pickles is her full name. Although, I'm not actually sure cats can marry outside of Boston.

Okay, so this last pair isn't fictional. They're real. And they are awesome:

Steve and Tango, Ghost Hunters

(Steve Gonsalves and Dave Tango)

SyFy

Steve: I think we should treat this like a bordello. That's what it was. And this is going to be a little uncomfortable for us, but right now we're two men that have come into a brothel to find a woman.
Tango: Yeah? Hmm.
Steve: Hello, ladies! Me and my friend here are lonely travelers.
Tango: Laaa-dies...
Steve: I'd like a brunette, please.
Tango: We just wanna have some fun. That's all.
Steve: I'm a nice guy. I like animals, long walks on the beach...
Tango: Steve, I think they're turning us down.
Steve: I never get turned down.

So, what are some of your favorite platonic pairings?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Left Lane

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've had it.

As many of you know, I spend approximately 10-12 hours on the freeway in any average week.

I love my car. I'm even kind of a fan of driving. But sitting behind the wheel for as long as I do, I long ago lost any interest in dawdling. I just want to get where I'm going and get out of the car quickly.

That's not always possible. There are traffic jams and road hazards and there's almost always that guy in the giant truck who ~~overcompensates~~ weaves in and out between cars thinking it's going to somehow make ~~him seem important~~ a big difference in his arrival time.

But the very biggest problem I see on a daily basis is the driver who insists on using the left lane incorrectly.

Yup, the one that's often called the Fast Lane.

Do you know why it's called the Fast Lane?

Because it's the lane where you go FASTER THAN THE REST OF THE LANES.

Just about EVERY state in the entire United States recognizes the left lane as a passing lane for vehicles that are traveling faster than the rest of the highway. This may or may not be the posted speed limit, and most states won't ticket you if you're going with the "flow of traffic," even if it's higher than the maximum. As long as people are being safe and not ridiculous about it.

One afternoon, I was headed home from work and ended up behind a slower car. I pulled into the left lane to pass that car, and then another, and then another. And then, while still in the left lane, I came upon a beat up old jalopy that was going 60mph. The speed limit along that stretch of road is 65. I flashed my brights, as is the commonly accepted way of saying, "move the eff over," and the car SLOWED DOWN.

I backed off a little bit. At this point, I didn't switch lanes because the traffic over there was still going slower than I wanted to. This guy needed to move over. It's the law.

The car sped up a little. I did too. Then he slowed down again. This went on for several minutes. Cars behind me were going around us because the right lanes were starting to move faster, but now it had become a matter of principle. That guy was going to move over because it was the right thing to do.

Well, he never did move over. And my exit was coming up. So I reluctantly gave up. As I was passing the car, I glanced and saw the passenger in the front seat who looked to be at least in his mid-sixties. Sticking his tongue out at me and flipping me off.

Because his chauffeur was violating California Vehicle Code Section 21650-21664.

People.

This is ridiculous.

It happens every single day all over this country.

To the point that state highway patrol agencies are starting to crack down and ticket drivers who are "impeding the normal flow of traffic."

Halle-freaking-lujiah.

Look. I know that speeders cause all kinds of accidents. I know it's important to drive safely.

But you are not the highway patrol.

(Unless you happen to actually be a highway patrol officer reading this right now. In which case, thanks for keeping us safe.)

It is not your job to regulate speed or the flow of traffic or to punish jerk drivers who are flying back and forth across the roadway.

If you aren't passing someone, stay in the right lane.

Because people are carrying guns these days, folks. With actual bullets. Do you really want to piss off the wrong person on the wrong day?

(I am NOT carrying a gun. I will NOT shoot you.)

(Yes, I WILL shoot you, but only dirty looks.)

(And maybe some sign language.)

Do the right thing. Stay out of the left lane unless you are passing someone, getting around some kind of obstruction, or all the other lanes are closed.

Because otherwise, YOU are the one breaking the law.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Week 50

2011-12-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

What a week it's been.

Many thanks to everyone who has expressed concern over the (not so) Old People Disease with which I was diagnosed last week. I'm doing okay. Just kind of itchy and in some pain. But don't worry. I probably won't go through with the voluntary amputation of my leg as I was contemplating on Saturday.

Anyway, I wish I had some brilliant updates for you this week. I don't. My efforts have been somewhat thwarted and I realized that there are a couple of goals that are no longer going to be possible. But more on that later.

For now, I want to continue with what we've been talking about over the past few weeks, which is putting together your own Project 52 list.

To recap:
Step 1: Brainstorm the List.
Step 2: Pare down the List.

And that brings us to Step 3: Hone the List.

So you've got your List and it's full of great goals like "Play with my kids more" and "Be nicer to my co-workers" and "Send Karen more chocolate."

And probably some really ambitious goals like "Go to the gym five days a week" and "Cook dinner every night" and "Send Karen chocolate 4 times per month."

These are all great things. And it's commendable that you want to take on such big, important things. These are going to make your life so much better.

I just see two tiny problems.

1. Goals should be measurable and specific.

How do you quantify playing with your kids more? Or being nicer to people? How do you know if you're actually doing something more than you before? Unless you were doing it never and now you're doing it at least once.

Now before you go and scratch those goals off the list, take another look. Decide HOW you can be nicer to your co-workers or play with your kids more. What does that look like? Does it mean picking up hot chocolate and donuts on the way to the office? Does it mean taking your kids to the park after work? How often? Now your goals can look something more like:

Bring donuts and hot chocolate to work twice.

Take the kids to the park once per month.

Writing your goals this way will make it possible to measure your progress and will increase the likelihood that you'll be successful.

2. Goals should be challenging, not impossible.

If you have a goal to do something every single day, you have already set yourself up for failure. If you've written a goal to do something several times a week, every week, for the entire year, you've set yourself up for failure.

You don't know what's going to happen. Your car might break down and end up in the shop for a week. You might fall while rock climbing and wind up spending the better part of your summer recovering from surgery. Or you might get tired one day or week or month and just not get around to it.

Instead of saying "I'm going to go to the gym 3 times per week for the whole year," try toning it down a bit:

Go to the gym three times per week for three months.

This gives you the chance to turn it into a habit while also having plenty of chances to start over when you slip. And you'll be much more likely to stick with the gym or home cooking or reading scriptures or whatever else you want to do if you haven't already failed in the second week of January.

And there you have it. A few more tips for creating goals you can actually accomplish. Next week we'll talk about making a plan.

But before we get there, how did you do this week? Any exciting updates to share? Please link up and tell!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Blog of the Week: Adulting!

2011-12-03T04:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's been a LONG time since I've done a Blog of the Week. I was kind of letting the Blog Awards take over. But there are still tons of awesome blogs out there and, as is the way of awards shows, there can only be one winner (unless there's a tie), and so I'm ready to resume the Blog of the Week. For now.

This week's selection is a recent find, but one so awesome that I immediately fell in love. Plus it's not nominated for anything, so I don't look like I'm playing favorites.

And the newest Blog of the Week is: Adulting!

Kelly is the genius behind this funny, quirky, and totally useful blog about how to be an adult. She promises "387 easy-ish steps" that include things like visiting friends in the hospital (even if you hate the hospital) and bringing something to Thanksgiving dinner (even if your parents insist they only want you to bring yourself) and registering to vote.

She's up to #110 ("Get familiar with your car and its needs) so far, and promises much more awesomeness to come. There are hilarious doodles and funny pictures and all sorts of things to demonstrate the many, many ways that people over 18 do not act like adults, and how to fix it.

I seriously love this blog, and I know you will too.

**********

And it's been a really long while since I've shared what I've been reading around the blogosphere. So here are just a couple of posts, and they aren't all from this week:

At think.stew, dbs wrote about the "Crappy Shi(r)t", why men love them, and why women should leave them alone.

Emily wrote a great post on her Thought Blog about why she LOVES having a December birthday. And she wasn't even being sarcastic.

Ms. Blasé at The Unpopular Girl in Womanhood recently shared her thoughts about how letting go of online dating helped her to be more grateful for her own singleness.

Ru from And The She Was Like Blah Blah Blah wrote one of the best summaries I've read about the most loved and most hated characters on The Walking Dead. If you love that show and have watched the first half of season 2, you should read this.

And finally, Anna at And Then She Saved answered a reader question about what to do when there's no money to pay the bills and no hope of changing things. Fantastic advice, y'all!

**********

And yes, there is a Comment of the Week!

"hehehehe, why am I the only one laughing after reading this post? lol Oh Karen! 2011 really has been your year! I mean, just think of all the boring stories you would have had to tell if none of this happened. (Sorry it did though, that has to suck!)"

~Jennee Thompson on the post "Because I had enough reasons to talk sarcastically about what an awesome year it's been."

And speaking of yesterday's post, I just want to thank everyone for the well wishes and encouragement. I'm doing fine. A little bit itchy, but as long as I don't move AT ALL, it doesn't really hurt. So there's that.

Have a great week! And don't forget to vote for the Finalists!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Because I haven't had enough reasons to talk sarcastically about what an awesome year it's been...

2011-12-01T22:12:00.001-08:00

Last Sunday morning, I woke up with a weird pain in my hip. I didn't know if I'd slept wrong or my joint was somehow out of whack or what. All I knew was the it was really uncomfortable and I couldn't do anything about it.

And then on Monday, I had these weird bumps that looked like bug bites.

Great, I thought. Bed bugs.

Stripping the sheets off the bed, I was relieved to see no sign of those dastardly, creepy little things and assumed I'd been the victim of a stealth attack by some insect that had moved on.

But as the week passed, those tiny bumps got a little worse, a little more itchy, and a LOT more painful.

And then this morning, I couldn't stand up straight because of the pain. I'm not going to get into the specifics here, but I was a little bit freaked out.

There was the inevitable argument with myself. Should I call in sick to work and try to get in to see the doctor? Or should I go ahead and make the drive, knowing the doctor probably wouldn't be able to see me until at least tomorrow anyway?

This little voice whispered, "Just go to work..."

So I went.

And I'd been there about an hour when high winds knocked out the power and the administration decided they had no choice but to cancel classes and close the school for the day.

Way to save a sick day!

So I called the doctor and (miraculously) there was an opening.

I hobbled into the office, took my seat, got my vitals checked--

(ALL normal, thankyouverymuch.)

--and then the doctor came in, took one look at my "rash" and declared that I have herpes.

Okay, that's the technical term. Herpes Zoster.

It means "shingles."

Which, according to my friend, Le Google, is most likely to happen among adults over 60 or in people who had chicken pox before age 1.

I'm 34 and got chicken pox when I was 10.

I seriously feel like a leper.

I've been walking around all afternoon promising everyone I'm not contagious, because that was my very first concern. It just sounds so gross. And I had to step away from the internet when it started showing me nasty pictures and just made me even more convinced I should be shipped off to some colony to live out my days with others of "my kind."

But I've been assured that it's not a dirty disease. It's an old people one.

Which is SO much better.

Between my sister claiming the Muppets are "before her time" and now having a disease for old people, I'm just going to go ahead and find a rocking chair, an afghan, and some knitting needles.

Because I think I just aged 50 years.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

And the Finalists are.....

2011-11-29T00:30:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are.

Your (many, MANY) votes have been tallied and I'm very pleased to announce the finalists in this inaugural year of the as-yet-unnamed Blog Awards.

(Hmmm...I'll happily take suggestions on what to call these...)

Anyway, I know you are all more interested in the finalists than in what this is called, so let's get on with it.

But first, I just want to let all of the nominees know that I didn't hand select you all and make you the nominees. You were nominated by your peers. By readers of this blog. By readers of your blog. By lots of people who think you're awesome. And you ARE awesome. And I'm really glad that you were nominated because it gave me a chance to meet you.

Okay, the nominees are listed below. There are links to each blog. The nominees are listed in ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Please do not infer anything from the order in which the nominees appear, because I'm just trying to be organized. Oh, and yes I know you don't normally alphabetize the 'T' in 'The', but for this, I did because I consider the The's part of the titles.

So. Are you ready?

Favorite New Blog

Book Dirt

Javid Suleymanli

Just a Chick in a Chair

Katie's Quarks

Real Housewife of Singapore

Best Kept Secret

Barlow Stars

Cheap Wine and Cookies

Crash Test Dummy Diaries

Emily's Thought Blog

(Not) So Single

Favorite Pee-in-Your-Pants Funny Blog

Dude and Sweeties

My Real Life was Backordered

Suri's Burn Book

The Bloggess

Thee Bergdorf Brunette

Favorite Inspirational Blog

Be Joyful Always

Diapers and Divinity

Gitzen Girl

Gospel Driven Disciples

Memories of Bend

Favorite Blog by a Parent

Crappy Pictures

I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor

Josh and Jamie, Plus the Baby

Katie Balla

Namaste by Day

Favorite Singles' Blog

Jennee Thompson

My Pixie Blog

Not So Simply Single

Sincerely, Rachel Christine

Thee Bergdorf Brunette

Favorite Blog About Writing

Alex J. Cavanaugh

Fairy Tales and Cappuccino

Once Upon a Time

The Serial Killer Files

Write On Edge

Favorite Crafty-Type Blog

Fabulously Flawed

Katie's Quarks

Pacifier in My Pocket

Pioneer Party and Gift

The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking

Favorite "Other" Blog

Barlow Stars

Blondesense and Nonsense

Coracabana

Handbags and Handguns

Musings of a Muse

Most Inspiring Post

"Forgiven," Namaste by Day

"I Will and I Can," Our Lovely Life

"What Might Have Been, Part 1," Jani Photography

Funniest Post

"Knock Knock Motherfu---- Giant Metal Chickens Revisted," The Bloggess

"Once Upon a Time," My Real Life was Backordered

"That's why I'm not allowed to be here unsupervised," The Bloggess

Most Helpful Post

"One Person Chocolaty Snack," Cheekyness

"Saddle Up," Pulsipher Predilections

"What I wish someone had told me about marriage," I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor

Most Thought-Provoking Post

"Monday Means 'What the...'," Emily's Thought Blog

"Perspective," Just For the Record...

"Six and Eight: Hell by Numbers," Attack of the Redneck Mommy

Favorite Blog of the Year

And Then She Was Like Blah Blah Blah

Barlow Stars

Sleep Talkin' Man

The Bloggess

The Pioneer Woman Cooks

Congratulations to everyone!

I really hope you'll take the time to check out these great blogs. In particular, I hope you'll read the nominated posts, because they are each great in their own different ways.

Voting will be open until Friday, December 9 at 11:59pm. Approximately.

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You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Week 49

2011-11-28T08:00:00.001-08:00

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

I spent the holiday at my dad's house. My younger sister flew home from the east coast, which was not the original plan, so it was great to get a chance to see her and hear all about college life and all the zany things she's been up to.

There was feasting and midnight Black Friday shopping with the siblings. I tried to talk my sister into seeing The Muppets with me, but she has it in her head that the Muppets are before her time. I think she called me old.

Whatever. I waited until Saturday and saw it with my roommates instead. And laughed my head off and went home and downloaded the soundtrack that I've now been listening to practically non-stop because I love it so much.

Anyway.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. It's Monday, which means it's time for more Project 52 goodness.

Last week, I talked about how I go about creating a list. And Amanda from Teasingly Diverse reminded me of two sources of list ideas that I'd forgotten about.

So, to recap, Step 1: Brainstorm The List.

Write down a whole bunch of things you've been meaning to get around to.
Think about where you want to be a year from now and what it will take to get there.
Look at uncompleted goals from the past and consider trying them again.
Step it up. If you tried 10 new local restaurants last year, make it 20 this year.
Check out other peoples' lists. There is all kinds of inspiration to be found in what other people are doing.

By the time you're done with Step 1, you should have a really long list with way more goals than you need. And now you're ready for...

Step 2: Pare down The List.

Now you have a list of 60 or 70 (or more) possible goals. But doing 60 or 70 things in one year is going to be next to impossible. Unless 10 or 20 of those goals are things like "wear shoes for a whole day" and "brush my teeth at least once a week."

So whether you are going for 65 or 52 or 10 or 3 goals for the year, now you get to take that long list of possibilities and turn it into something more manageable.

But how?

1. Think about what's possible. If you're 8 or 9 months pregnant right now, chances aren't so high that you're going to be in any condition to be trekking across Antarctica in the near future. Scratch that off and consider moving it to next year. Basically, consider your reality and cross off anything that is truly impossible. This isn't a list of wishes, but of things you are going to actually try to do.

2. Find a balance. If everything on your list is hard, you're going to get frustrated and burned out by January 2nd. And if everything is easy, you'll be finished by February and wondering what to do with the rest of the year. Choose a few goals that will be quick and simple to get done, but that you just haven't gotten around to. Those will be for the times when you're feeling frustrated about the state of your List and need to see some momentum. And choose some that are hard so that you have something really big to work toward. And then fill the rest in with stuff that's somewhere in between.

3. If it's not something you want (or have) to do, it doesn't belong on your list. I know it sounds silly, but it's surprisingly easy to write something on your List that sounds cool, but that you actually have no real interest in doing. Everything on your List should be be something that you have to do or something that you want to do. Because otherwise you won't do it. If you aren't truly interested in bungee jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, then why is it there?

So those are just a few ways to create a list that is manageable, and full of things you can get done.

Any other suggestions?

And how did things go this week? Link up and share.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Thankful

2011-11-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks and the next couple of days, everyone will be talking about what they're thankful for.

And while I, like everyone else, am thankful for my family and my friends and good health and blah, blah, blah, there are a few other things this year for which I also wanted to express thanks:

soap

four-day weekends

that Rob Kardashian didn't win Dancing With the Stars

the gorgeous shoes I found for cheap at a thrift store

that the 49ers are having an awesome season

Planet Fitness

Tom Cruise and Mission: Impossible 4

soup recipes I actually WANT to eat every day for a week

Patrick Wilson on my TV every Friday night

that people are actually voting (in droves!) for my Blog Awards

Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving Song"

Christmas movies

the students who keep bringing in yummy treats

almost total use of my right arm

that you can say "Happy Thanksgiving" without offending anyone

that I can laugh at myself

Verizon's customer service department

that this time next year the election will be over

co-workers that keep life funny

that I have enough things to make an entire list

that I don't have to deal with things like this:

What are you thankful for?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Surprisingly, My Disappointment In Breaking Dawn Had Nothing to Do With the Acting or Story...

2011-11-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

Source

I know this will shock precisely no one, but I wasn't impressed with Breaking Dawn, Part 1.

After watching Eclipse last year, I made the somewhat reluctant confession that maybe I was sort of a fan of the movies, but definitely not the books.

The thing is, I've always thought the basic story of the Twilight Saga was intriguing.

(Although Bella should totally have been with Jacob, but whatever.)

It was the way the story unfolded that left me feeling empty and disappointed. Not just the writing, which has been criticized and torn apart endlessly for years. I felt like something was missing from the story. There was no big payoff when the story ended. Sure, the characters all live happily ever after, but they didn't earn it, which is always what makes the happily-ever-after so satisfying.

Movies are different from books. The story necessarily plays out differently. Movies require action, while books can be as introspective as the writer wants them to be.

For that reason, I've liked the movies more. The story is a little more fleshed out. Sequences that were glossed over in the books are brought to life and the characters have grown and developed in a way that the writer didn't accomplish.

I had high hopes for Breaking Dawn.

I don't know why. Of all the books in the series, it was the weakest. The story was rushed and so many secondary plots went nowhere and I got frustrated and almost stopped reading.

But my biggest issues with the book would certainly be fixed when it was translated to the big screen.

And in some ways, that happened.

I was more than a little annoyed when they decided to turn the worst book into two movies, but they actually found a way to make such a logical break and to divide the book into two separate plots with separate antagonists. In fact, they did that so well that I found myself wondering why Stephenie Meyer didn't just write it that way in the first place.

(I'm guessing it's because she was just in a hurry to be done with the whole thing. At least that's how it seemed.)

But anyway, Part 1...

The wedding was beautiful.

The honeymoon was every bit as awkward as it should have been.

The acting was decent. Like, actually watchable.

Rosalie and Carlisle's wigs were bad, but Edward's hair looked good.

And when Bella is wasting away and looks like a corpse? I found myself wondering if she had lost weight for real.

I was actually kind of digging the movie.

And then it happened.

The Scene.

If you've watched it, you KNOW which scene I'm talking about. It was the scene that caused me to whisper a little too loudly, "That is the WORST scene in the history of movies."

It looked stupid. It sounded stupid. And it was next to impossible to even understand what the characters were saying.

It was bad.

The shame of it is that this was a pivotal moment in the film. The situation happens in the book, but I don't think the scene is even there. But it was necessary to the plot of the movie. And they totally botched it. To the point that I was embarrassed for everyone involved.

And the movie never really recovered after that.

It just got worse.

Not because of the performances. Not because of the story. But because of one bad effect after another. Lame camera angles. Weird cuts. Terrible computer-generated sequences.

I blame the director.

He's a talented, award-winning guy, but he was all wrong for a project like this.

It's a good thing there's still a whole year before Part 2 comes out. Hopefully they can fix some of the mistakes from this one and give us a watchable finale.

I know. That's asking a lot from a director who was interested in making a blockbuster, but was not emotionally attached to it.

I guess we'll see.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Project 52: Week 48, and How to Get Started on Next Year

2011-11-21T08:22:00.001-08:00

I'm excited that Thanksgiving is this week.

I still don't know how it came around again so fast, but I'm excited. Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family and friends, which is awesome. Plus, it's a holiday centered entirely around eating. What's not to love?

And it's the start of the Christmas season which is, of course, my favorite.

That also means that the end of the year is coming and the beginning of the next. And for those of us that have goals to finish, this means a very busy six weeks.

I'm working like crazy on mine, which I mentioned last week. And I still am.

But I've already started looking forward to next year, too, and crafting the list of 52 things I want to do in 2012.

(By the way, 2012?? How did THAT happen??)

Anyway, over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be sharing my process of how I select my goals and some tips for writing goals that you can accomplish.

When thinking about something like Project 52, the first thing I do is make a list of a whole bunch of stuff I've been wanting to do for a long time. Not everything on this preliminary list will make it to the final. And we'll talk about that in another post.

But it's important to get some of those ideas written down. Because it's one thing to have a thought in your head of "Oh, someday I'd like to go on a ghost hunt."

When you write that down on your list, it becomes something more tangible than a mere possibility. It's there. In front of you. And you can start to think about whether you really want to do it or whether it's merely a nice idea.

If you're like me, you won't come anywhere near 52 things when you write this list.

So my second step is to think about where I want to be at the end of the new year. What do I want my life to look like? More financial independence? More traveled? More educated?

As I think about where or who I want to be, other ideas pop into my head and that list grows. Usually by a lot.

And by the time I'm finished with these two steps, I usually have well over 52 items on my potential list.

Which means, it's time to whittle that down. And I'll be talking more about that next week.

Want to see what Jennee has been up to this week?

And if you have a Project 52 update, please link up and share!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Semi-Finalists! (UPDATE: Voting is now closed.)

2011-11-18T09:53:00.000-08:00

I want you all to know that this Blog Award thing has been SO fun, but SO MUCH WORK.

But it's totally worth it. I've found some awesome new blogs in the last couple of weeks.

So much work...

Okay, here's the deal. I couldn't find a form online that did everything I wanted it to, so I have to do this a little differently than I would like. What I'm doing is announcing the semi-finalists, with links so that you can check them all out. Then, under the list of semifinalists is the actual form so that you can vote for your favorites.

And this is just the next stage. I've taken ALL of the nominees--

(There were a couple of disqualifications where I couldn't find a specific post or a blog didn't seem to exist.)

(And I thought about disqualifying a few just because they had music auto-playing on their sites...But I didn't because the music was actually pretty good. Consider yourselves lucky.)

(Oh, and thank you all for nominating me, but I wasn't really considering myself eligible since I'm related to the person running the show...)

So I took all the nominees and I'm sharing them with you here. Then you are going to vote. And then the top 5 will become the finalists/official nominees. And then you'll get to vote for the winners.

It's a process.

This round of voting will be open from the moment this post goes live until next Friday, November 25 at 11:59pm. So you've got a week and a couple of hours.

Ready?

It's my pleasure to announce the semi-finalists!

Favorite New Blog
Just a Chick in a Chair
Prices in High Places
Javid Suleymanli
Book Dirt
Confessions of an Animal Junkie
Real Housewife of Singapore
My Life Herding Cats
Katie's Quarks

Best Kept Secret
Thumper Awards
Barlow Stars
Travel Spot
Magneto Bold Too
(Not) So Single
Stephen T. McCarthy's Stuffs
Emily's Thought Blog
Looking for Luck, Love, and...
Crash Test Dummy Diaries
Cheap Wine and Cookies

Favorite Pee-in-Your-Pants Funny Blog
Knucklehead!
The Bloggess
Marsha's Musings
Thee Bergdorf Brunette
Dude and Sweeties
Lost in Idaho
Trying to Get Over the Rainbow
Stories From Apartment Managers
My Real Life was Backordered
Suri's Burn Book

Favorite Inspirational Blog
Memories of Bend
Sunday Crossbow
Vanilla Blonde
Gospel Driven Disciples
Be Joyful Always
Gitzen Girl
Diapers and Divinity
And Then She Saved
Endurance Isn't Only Physical
Eternal Lizdom

Favorite Blog by a Parent
The Katherine Wheel
Josh and Jamie, Plus the Baby
Dave n Am
Katie Balla
Namaste by Day
The Presley Family
Annie Valentine
Crappy Pictures
I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor
Living in France

Favorite Single's Blog
Bobbi in La La Land
Thee Bergdorf Brunette
Lisa's Yarns
Not So Simply Single
Jennee Thompson
Barbaloot
My Pixie Blog
Single Infertile Female
Sincerely, Rachel Christine
Life in Heels and Flip Flops

Favorite Blog About Writing
Dave Wrote This
Jeffrey Beesler's World of the Scribe
Holly Lisle
Write On Edge
The Serial Killer Files
Alex J. Cavanaugh
Fairy Tales and Cappuccino
Author, Jody Hedlund
Creepy Query Girl
Once Upon a Time

Favorite Crafty-Type Blog
Pioneer Party and Gift
Better After
Katie's Quarks
Fabulously Flawed
The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking
iCandy Handmade
Jeanne Winters
A Subtle Revelry
Wee Memories
Pacifier in My Pocket

Favorite "Other" Blog
Coracabana
Wearing it On My Sleeves
Barlow Stars
Handbags and Handguns
My Worlds My Words My Worries
Be Joyful Always
Suri's Burn Book
Blondesense and Nonsense
Musings of a Muse
Adventures and Misadventures of Daily Living

Most Inspiring Post
"What Might Have Been, Part 1," Jani Photography
"I Will and I Can," Our Lovely Life
"10 Days of Bullshit Challenge," Gillian Hefer
"Forgiven," Namaste by Day
"All My Attention," The Katherine Wheel

Funniest Post
"Not Very Ladylike," Let's Have a Cocktail
"Knock Knock Motherfu---- Giant Metal Chickens Revisted," The Bloggess
"That's why I'm not allowed to be here unsupervised," The Bloggess
"Once Upon a Time," My Real Life was Backordered
"Quirks," Blondesense and Nonsense
"The Tale of 5 Pubes," Absolutely Narcissism

Most Helpful Post
"Found This on the Web...," Auld Reekie Rants
"Composition," Travel Spot
"One Person Chocolaty Snack," Cheekyness
"What I wish someone had told me about marriage," I'm Living Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor
"Saddle Up," Pulsipher Predilections

Most Thought-Provoking Post
"Monday Means 'What the...'," Emily's Thought Blog
"Being a Mom," Emily's Thought Blog
"Perspective," Just For the Record...
"How to Make Fake Snot," Not Worth Mentioning
"Six and Eight: Hell by Numbers," Attack of the Redneck Mommy

Favorite Blog of the Year
The Life and Times of Malady
The Pioneer Woman Cooks!
The Bloggess
Barlow Stars
Sleep Talkin' Man
Tossing It Out
Be Joyful Always
Post Secret
Crystal's a Pistol
And Then She Was Like Blah Blah Blah

Now get voting!

&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Loading...&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Currently--November

2011-11-17T00:30:00.000-08:00

There are about three or four different posts trying to write themselves in my head at the moment, and a NaNovel that is begging to be finished. But it's also been awhile since I've done one of these, so this wins.

Current Book
I don't know why, but I've had a hard time finishing books lately. I've been working on both of these for awhile:
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller (which is hilarious, but dense)
The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King (it's the 2nd book in the Dark Tower series...I have to finish all 7 before December 31st...)

Current Albums
Don't really have one, but getting ready to deck my iPod with Christmas.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure
Breaking Dawn, Part 1. Tonight. 8pm. Made my own t-shirt and everything. I'm so ashamed...

Current Drink
Coke.

Current Favorite BlogI don't have one favorite. It's just not possible. But I've been having fun discovering some AWESOME new bloggers through my Blog Awards.

Current Songs
"You and I" by Lady Gaga
"Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw

Current Wish-List
Let's see...
An all-expense-paid vacation to somewhere awesome like London or Hawaii
Unlimited credit on iTunes
The end of every television show that features a Kardashian

Current Needs
To feel better for the movie tonight
To finish up my crafty stuff for Marly's shower

Current Triumph
Getting some very awesome nominees for my Blog Awards. (I'm announcing them tomorrow!)

Current Favorite Film
I haven't been to the movies in awhile, so I'm still holding onto Crazy Stupid Love, on of my summer faves. (I'm pretty sure Breaking Dawn will NOT take its place.)

Current TV Show
The Walking Dead
Revenge
A Gifted Man

Current Celebrity Crush
Pretty much the entire cast of The Walking Dead.

Image "borrowed" from AMCtv.com.

Except Andrea. I really wish Dale had let her die back at the CDC...

Current Indulgence
"Hangin' With Friends" on my Droid.

Current Outfit
I'm really excited to wear the 100% cashmere sweater I found at the thrift store last week for $6.

Current Banes of My Existence
I really shouldn't say it on the internet.

Current Excitement
Marly's baby shower is this Saturday!

Current Mood
Nervous and frenzied. Marly's baby shower is this Saturday...

Current Picture

Have a great day, everyone!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Dear Melissa Etheridge: The Concert was great, sorry your audience was so lame.

2011-11-15T08:18:00.001-08:00

I was a little reluctant when Emily first suggested it.

After all, things didn't quite go according to plan the last time I drove across state lines to see a concert with Dustin.

But seeing as they are two of my favorite people and I'm always up for a chance to hang out with them, and also because Melissa Etheridge does put on one heck of a show, I said let's do it and they said let's do it and this past weekend we met up in Primm, Nevada (aka: The Middle of Nowhere).

Unlike our last experience, this time we had reservations at a real hotel, and tickets with seat numbers on them.

I met Dustin and Emily at our hotel (the not-terrible Whiskey Pete's), took a minute or two to change into something more presentable (although it's pretty close to impossible to be underdressed for a Melissa Etheridge concert), and then we road the monorail across the freeway to Primm Valley, found a dinner buffet (also not terrible), before making our way to the third hotel to find the Star of the Desert Arena for the show.

Our seats were pretty decent, though the arena was so small that I don't think there was a bad seat in the house. Except, apparently, the ones directly behind us.

When the band stepped onto the stage, we stood up. Crazy, I know.

The very large man behind Dustin was mad. Angry. In fact, I think he turned a glorious shade of purple at one point.

"SIT DOWN!" he ~~shouted~~ calmly and politely requested.

"No way!" Dustin said back. "Show some respect for the band."

"SIT DOWN!"

"It's a ROCK CONCERT. People stand up at ROCK CONCERTS."

The guy was having none of it. And now his cohorts were joining in, demanding that we very rude rock concert goers glue our butts to our chairs as if it was Yo-Yo Ma.

(For whom I would also have stood when he was walking onto the stage.)

(It's called Concert Etiquette.)

The guy punched Dustin on the shoulder. Punched him. On the shoulder.

Dustin smacked the guy's hand away and said something about sending him home in a body cast if he did that again.

Or something. It was kind of hard to hear at that point since the ROCK BAND was ON STAGE performing loud ROCK MUSIC.

The rest of the lame,boring audience around us sat back down, so with great reluctance, we did too.

The music was great, Melissa sounded better than ever, and we watched with envy as the people down in the front got to enjoy the concert on their feet.

I had to snap these pictures on the sly since an obnoxious twelve-year-old security guard kept patrolling back and forth right in front of us, blocking the view every few minutes.

Lame audience sitting through a ROCK CONCERT.

By the end of the show, we were pretty sick of sitting, so we got on our feet for the last song. I glared over my shoulder at the obnoxious guy behind us and he very reluctantly (and laboriously) stood up too. The rest of our section didn't move.

Which was fine with us because we were having a good old time, ignoring the lame sitters-down around us. And that's when it happened. The Moment.

She saw us. We were hard to miss, being that we were the ONLY PEOPLE STANDING. She saw us. She waved. She blew us a kiss.

Dustin was in heaven.

When the band exited the stage and we were cheering for an encore, the guy and his cronies left. We thought maybe they were waiting to jump us in the parking lot, but I'm pretty sure they grumbled something about getting to the good slot machines. Or something.

Melissa and her band came back for an encore, sang one very slow, mellow (and beautiful) ballad, and then it was over.

While enjoying some Häagen-Dazs a little later, we were disappointed to realize we didn't have that after-concert high. I think the audience kind of ruined it.

I guess we'll just have to catch her next tour.

Shame, really.

For a more complete story of our experience, you should read Emily's account here. Since she was sitting a little closer to the action, she *might* have heard things a little differently...Maybe...

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Project 52: Week 47

2011-11-14T08:00:00.001-08:00

(Don't forget! Today is the LAST DAY to submit your nominations

for my FIRST EVER Blog Awards!)

Can you feel it? The slight morning chill? The hint of approaching winter on the air?

The end of the year is coming. Fast.

And I'm excited. This is my very favorite time of year. A time when people think about the things that make them grateful and spend time with the people that matter most. I love the holidays. They make the rest of the year worth it.

I'm also reminded that the end is coming. And I have to get a move on if I'm going to get through more of my List.

I've been working, of course. There are a few things that are definitely underway. I'm near the halfway point on NaNoWriMo and am determined to finish this week, well ahead of schedule.

I've been doing more cooking at home this month and will be trying a couple of new recipes this week for my dear friend Marly's baby shower.

I'm trying to talk myself into caring about the Dark Tower Series. It's so much harder to get into than I ever expected it to be.

I'm nearly finished with my first of two classic novels. (Catch-22 is freaking hilarious!)

Marly turned out to be a fantastic running coach earlier in the week where she helped me tweak one thing (my speed) and I was suddenly able to go from running 5 minute spurts to running 27.5 minutes. This 5K is SO gonna happen.

Oh, and this week I'll be buying tickets to a show at Segerstrom Center, a place I've been so excited about seeing again ever since Katie and I went to see an opera there a couple of years ago.

I've busted out my old Spanish text book and dug out the CD to put into my car for those long rides to and from the job I've been interviewing and applying to get away from. I've priced out a round of golf with my dad and need to get that order in for my Christmas cards. And I really need to hurry and get through the Book of Mark if I'm ever going to finish the New Testament before January 1.

It's busy, but good. And I'm feeling pretty great about these next few weeks.

Be sure to check in with Jennee and see how she's doing.

How are you? Link up below!

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In Honor of Our Veterans

2011-11-11T07:28:00.001-08:00

My generation was the first in my family not to send anyone into the military, until my cousin recently joined the Army.

As far back as I can go, there has been military all over my family tree. My dad, uncle, both grandfathers, great-grandfathers, great uncles.

But not so much in my generation.

I was almost the one. Until I chose a different path. It's one of the only choices in my life that I would honestly say I regret.

I'm so thankful for those that volunteer to go out and serve. To protect our country and our freedom.

There hasn't been a Service in the Spotlight post in awhile and I'm sorry about that. I'm working on a new one for December. But today, in honor of those that serve, here is a short list of some really great organizations that work for our Veterans:

The Fisher House--Because Veterans often have to travel great distances to get to the VA hospitals to receive treatments for injuries and illnesses, the Fisher House has built "comfort homes" on the grounds of VA hospitals and medical centers so that their families have a place to stay that's close by and available at no cost.

Operation Homefront--This organization seeks to help the families of soldiers and wounded warriors, mostly with financial needs. They provide food assistance, home repair, child care, auto repair, and all sorts of other things needs that come up day-to-day. And if there is a service they don't offer, they'll help find someone who does.

Special Ops Warrior Foundation--Each branch of the military has its own units of special operations, and this foundation seeks to support them all. Their two main goals are to provide financial assistance to families of special operations soldiers that are wounded, disabled, or killed; and to provide a full college scholarship to every child of every special ops soldier who dies in combat.

Freedom Alliance--While this organization provides a lot of events and outreach activities to the families of wounded and fallen soldiers, their main purpose is to provide educational assistance and scholarships to the children of soldiers who die in combat.

Freedom Dogs--I know I've highlighted this group before, but I just wanted to remind you (or let you know, in case you missed it) about this wonderful local organization that provides short-term and sometimes permanent service dogs to Wounded Warriors suffering from PTSD and traumatic brain injuries as a way to help them reintegrate into normal lives.

These are just a few of the many, many organizations out there that help and support our Veterans and their families. I hope on this Veteran's Day that you will take the time to visit and learn more about them. And, if you get the chance today, thank a soldier.

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Colorful Fighting

2011-11-08T00:30:00.000-08:00

As with most childhood memories involving my brother, Marc, whomever thought of it depends entirely on who you ask. But, honestly, I'm probably to blame for the ill-thought incident.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Or, at least, not like a colossally bad one.

Mom was out for the evening at some meeting or another and it was back in the days when you could leave your nine-year-old unattended for an hour or two and no one thought much of it.

Things started out normal. Marc and I watched some TV or maybe played a game. Who knows? I'm sure I had homework I was supposed to be doing, but at some point, our childlike playtime devolved into childish arguing and, eventually, a fight.

We yelled and screamed and pulled each other's hair and I'm pretty sure I tried to sit on him more than once.

I really don't have any idea what prompted me to open the pantry door.

There on a shelf, tucked in between flour and sugar and other baking supplies, sat a small box. I pulled it down and opened it, withdrawing four tiny bottles. Armed with green and blue food coloring, I shot a squirt of color at my younger brother, catching him on the arm. He reached for the red and yellow and for the next several minutes, we squeezed drop after drop of vivid, undiluted color in each other's general direction.

Sometimes we struck our targets and many times we did not.

When it was over, we looked around at the aftermath, tried our best to clean our skin, and dashed to bed when we heard our mother's car pulling into the garage.

I lay quietly beneath the covers, pretending to be asleep. My eyes were clamped shut with dread.

It only took a moment for cries of "What the--?!", followed by the sudden flinging open of my bedroom door.

"Karen!" Mom shouted and I pretended to be surprised by the intrusion. "Get out here!"

I followed her down the hall to the kitchen where smears of blue and green and yellow and red had joined together to form a shallow puddle of brown.

"What! is! THAT?!" My mother made a half-hearted attempt to control her temper.

I shrugged. "It's apple juice."

Obviously, she didn't buy it, though my 4th grade brain really thought she did. "Why didn't you clean up if you spilled?"

I shrugged again, offering the standard nine-year-old reply to a question you don't want to answer.

"Clean it up."

I picked up a sponge and started to wipe. To my horror, the puddle came up, but traces of color remained on the white tile; and one section of grout had taken on a purplish hue where the blue and red combined. I scrubbed and scrubbed and started to panic. That's when I looked down at the carpeted edge where the kitchen linoleum ended and the dining room began. There were three spots of green in the brown carpet. Perfectly visible. There was no hiding that.

Mom reappeared with a bleary-eyed Marc at her side.

"What did you do?" she demanded.

I looked at Marc and he looked at me and we both claimed not to know.

Furious, she saw the color on our skin and ordered me immediately into the shower. There were spots of pigment everywhere. Up and down my arms, and most especially in my hair. After three rounds of shampoo, it was still noticeable, though somewhat faded, and my mother sent me back to bed.

The next morning I sat at my desk at school, hair pulled back into a long ponytail, careful not to push up my long sleeves and hoping desperately that no one would see the splash of blue at the nape of my neck. Embarrassment overwhelmed me.

It was just about time for recess when my classmate Stephanie, from a few seats away, caught my attention.

"Karen," she whispered. "Hey, Karen.

Stephanie and I weren't exactly friends, and whenever she spoke to me, it was usually to say something mean. So I tried to ignore her at first. But then the bell rang for recess and she ran to me, taking my ponytail in her hand as other girls gathered around.

"It's so weird," she said. "I think your ponytail holder is melting. Your hair is orange all around here."

I mumbled some expression of "that's weird" and ducked outside to the playground.

My tie-dyed hair and skin faded over the next few days, but my mom's anger didn't. And I'm not sure she ever quite forgave us. The tile came clean with a good dose of bleach, but those three green spots in the carpet stayed until we moved some five years later.

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out www.BleachItAway.com. Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

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Project 52: Week 46

2011-11-07T00:30:00.000-08:00

The weather turned cold this weekend in California. Frigid.

Like, 60 degrees.

It was a great weekend for sitting inside and enjoying the heat and a nice cup of cocoa.

At least, I assume it was a nice weekend for that. I was out and about all weekend, doing some good things that left me deeply grateful for that extra hour of sleep I was awake for on Sunday morning.

One thing I did manage to get to was looking through my Project 52 list. When I saw so many things still left undone, I felt dismayed and a bit disappointed in myself for not getting through some of these things much sooner.

But then I did a quick count of all the goals that are currently in progress or are otherwise on track for completion. And I felt better.

Obviously, there are several goals that just can't get done this year. Baseball season is over and traveling to a new state is out of the question unless someone flies me somewhere on their own dime.

(I really wish it only cost a dime to travel. I'd go EVERYWHERE.)

But the happy news is that I am on track to finish 41 of my goals.

That made me pretty excited. And pretty motivated to keep going. It'll be a busy 7 weeks or so as we fling ourselves head first into the holidays, but I always do better when I'm busy. They say idle hands are the devil's workshop. Well, that couldn't be more true for me.

So I'm getting to work. And I'm excited about the next month and half and all that is coming with it.

I'm also looking at next year. I've already started my Project 52 list for 2012 because, believe me, there will be Project 52 in 2012. And over the next couple of weeks, Jennee and I are going to start putting together some of our tips and helpful hints for compiling a list of goals you can accomplish.

Even if you feel like you're miles away from finishing. Even if you feel like it's impossible to do much of anything with your list, keep going. Pick one or two things that you CAN accomplish and work on them. Because you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you did something.

And doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.

So don't give up. But don't stress yourself out either!

If you do have an update this week, please link up and share!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Analytical

2011-11-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't done one of these posts in ages and ages. But since I'm up to my elbows in NaNoWriMo goodness and looking for ways to ~~avoid writing~~ take a much-needed break, I wandered over to take a gander at some of the searches that have landed Googlers here.

I share them with you, along with some snarky commentary. Enjoy.

"Jack Shepherd"
It makes me happy that 4 people have recently found my blog because of Jack Shepherd. It also reminds me of my favorite PostSecret from a few weeks ago:

"How is the office without Michael?"
I miss Michael, but the show is doing just fine without him. Robert California rocks.

"Why do spiders scare me?"
Because they're scary.

"Single Mormon men"
Can't help you. Sorry.

"3 Foot dolls for girls"
Just don't. Imagine you're 5 years old and this face is watching you sleep:

"Alex O'loughlin Hawaii 5-0"
yes, please.

"broke arm climbing wall"
I wasn't technically climbing at the time...

"cried watching royal wedding"
I did too, back in April when it happened. Why are you still thinking about this in October? It's time to move on.

"droid 2 perfect"
Hahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, I've been without a phone for a week and a half. Perfect isn't the word I'd use. Unless the whole sentence was "perfect piece of crap."

"female friend doesn't initiate any"
Any what?? I have to know!

"I am the ghost of Halloween past"
Eek! I knew my blog was haunted!

"I missed 63 emmys"
Well, it is an honor just to be nominated, right?

"I only 16 and i cant remember what i did yesterda"
I'm more concerned about the fact that you couldn't remember how to properly punctuate or finish this sentence.

"It's cool to be single"
Yes. Yes it is.

"Judy Greer no makeup"
Why would you want to see Judy Greer without makeup?

"Karen Peterson hypnosis"
That reminds me of a funny story. I'll have to tell you about it.

"Love Clive Owen"
How that landed you here, I have no idea since I hate Clive Owen.

"Mr Karen blog"
Wait. There's a Mr. Karen and I don't know about him?

"photos of super dog attacking a bad guy"
I don't know which is cooler. The fact that there's a super dog or the fact that there are photos of it. Either way, I'd love to see that.

"Pushing Daisies Pie Hole Pies"
Mention of Pushing Daisies still makes me sad, but you can find some really great recipes inspired by the show at this site.

"release the quacken"
Um...I don't think that's how it goes.

"Roommate Calendar"
I love my roommates, but I don't know if I need them on a calendar...

"shirtless men manual labor"
Now THIS would be appropriate calendar-fodder. And by "appropriate" I, of course, mean "delightfully INappropriate."

"short row 1 is stuck closed indiana jones"
Now, I don't want to besmirch the good name of one of my favorite places, but seriously, people. That ride is evil. Stay away.

"sorry to hear broken arm"
Yes, I was sorry to hear it too. That crunching sound will stay with me forever.

"the blind side story summary"
Okay, let's see...There's this boy from a really terrible neighborhood. He may or may not be homeless. A rich family brings him home to live with them and he ends up becoming a professional football player. The end.

"The Rules for Setting Friends Up"
They're more like guidelines, but you can find them here.

"The Bloggess Mormon"
I highly doubt it. Highly.

"Titanic sinking drawing"
Well...okay... Here goes:

"What is so special about Mann's Chinese Theater?"
Are you being serious right now? Have you really never seen this:

"What the yellow light on dash of a car means"
It means everything's great. Keep driving. Nothing to see here.

"Who owns rights to TV Karen's World?"
I'm hoping I still do...

"Why would a LDS woman still be single at 50 with never having a boyfriend"
Maybe it's because underneath her clothes, her entire body is covered in scales*
(Bonus points if you can name that movie.)

"Will they ever finish Jericho?"
Since it was canceled 4 years ago, I'm gonna go with no...

That's about all for today. I have to go ~~finish some leftover Halloween candy~~ back to working on this novel thing...

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The Best Award Show Ever

2011-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends!

I promised a big announcement, and here it is.

You all know how much I love awards shows and stuff, right? Well, I'm bringing my very own right here to The Blog.

I'm very excited to announce the very first Karen's World Blog Awards.

(I know. The title needs some work. And I'll get on that, while you're busy nominating.)

Here's how this is going to work: Please fill out the form below, as completely as you wish. Please only submit it once. You're on the Honor System here because I really don't want to have to use my magical sneaky ways to find out. Unless I have to. But I don't have to, right? Besides, if you want to drum up support for your blog or someone else's, Tweet, Facebook, Blog about it, or any other way you can think of to spread the word.

The nominations will be open for 2 weeks until 11:59pm PST on Monday, November 14, 2011. After that, I will open up the top ten nominees in each category. Official nominees will be announced on Friday, November 18 unless some accident or last-minute details of Marly's Baby Shower cause an unforeseen delay.

After that, I'll announce the finalists and more information.

Are you ready? Great! Now get nominating!

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The Farmer's Other Daughter

2011-10-31T01:39:00.000-07:00

There once was a farmer who had two daughters. Sue Ellen was his beloved jewel. Her beauty was unmatched and she stole the hearts of many. Winifred, his other daughter, had wild eyes and a face that haunted the nightmares of all who looked upon her.

Sue Ellen and Winifred were as close as any two sisters could be. While everyone loved Sue Ellen, she loved only Winifred.

But one year, as the harvest approached, the farmer hired new hands to help with his many acres of corn, except for one patch where nothing grew. The farm hands were crude young men, as young men often are. Each vied for Sue Ellen's affections, and she ignored them all. All, save one. Travis.

The women in town, and many of the men, agreed that Travis was the handsomest man in the county. When he came to work for her father, with his hair the golden color of straw and with eyes that could search deep into the soul, Sue Ellen loved him immediately.

Travis, however, spurned Sue Ellen's affections, for he loved another. Her sister, Winifred.

Winifred was a simple girl who spent all her time outdoors climbing trees and searching for frogs at the creek and hiding in the corn field.

Some of the children in town believed Winifred was a witch.

Travis began to spend all his free time with Winifred. They laughed and lounged at the creek together for hours at a time and Travis loved her more as each day went by. Winifred loved him, too, though she was never wholly convinced of Travis's feelings. Not even when he told her he would go to the farmer and ask for her hand.

Sue Ellen seethed with jealousy and vowed to win the young man's heart.

On Halloween night, Sue Ellen sought out Travis, and passed the message that Winifred waited for him at the edge of the corn field. But when he reached their usual meeting place, he found Sue Ellen there instead.

"Where is Winifred?" he asked.

"She's close by," Sue Ellen said. She stepped closer to him. He stepped back. "Winifred is my sister and I love her, but she is simple. She doesn't understand the ways of the world. She can't make you happy like I can."

"You don't know here then," Travis said. "She loves me and I love her. And we're going to get married."

"Then why is she hiding in the corn with Jimmy?"

"It can't be true!" he shouted.

"See for yourself." Sue Ellen pointed the way, following him into the dried rows of unharvested corn.

Winifred wasn't in the corn with Jimmy. She was watching Travis lead Sue Ellen away, disappearing among the talk stalks, hiding themselves away. She kept a bit of distance, but followed them. And when Sue Ellen reached up and kissed Travis's lips, Winifred could hide herself no longer.

"You lied to me!" she screamed at both of them, her eyes flaming with a fury Sue Ellen had seen only once before, shortly before their mother left with a man from town.

"No, Winifred!" Travis pleaded. "It's not what you think! You are the one I love."

A wind started, swirling, gaining strength.

Sue Ellen grabbed Travis's hand. "Winifred, don't do this. You know I love you. You're my sister."

The wind whipped harder. There was a voice on the wind. A dark, sinister voice, and Sue Ellen's face turned the color of death.

"Please, Winnie!" Sue Ellen screamed. Travis stared, unable to speak.

Winifred turned around, stomping through the field back toward the house. When she reached the dirt road, there was a final, piercing shriek and the wind stopped as abruptly as it had started.

Winifred smiled.

The next day, the whole town was abuzz with the word that Sue Ellen had run off with that boy Travis. They were never heard from again.

For many years after, the farmer was left to wonder what had become of his daughter and why there was a second bare patch in the middle of his corn field, where nothing would ever grow again. He eyed his other daughter with suspicion, but though she was hideously ugly, hers wasn't the face of a monster...

Goal #42 is complete.

Happy Halloween!

Do you have a Project 52 update this week? If so, link up and share!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Next Year, There Was a Rule Against Cross Dressing at the Church Halloween Dance

2011-10-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

I used to care about dressing up for Halloween.

Used to look forward to it, in fact.

I don't really remember when or why it lost it's luster. Maybe I just outgrew it. Once I got older, there were no little kids around to take trick-or-treating and no interesting parties to go to, so I stopped having a reason or the inclination to dress up somewhere around high school.

Some of my costumes were fun, like when my brother Marc and I were Mickey and Minnie Mouse. We were 3 and 4, so it was adorable. And some were quirky, like in 8th grade when I went to school dressed as a TV, which is a very tricky costume to wear on the bus.

One year, I was stuck for an idea.

So was Marc.

I'm not sure whose idea it was, though it was probably mine.

"We should dress up as each other," one of us (most likely I) said.

"I don't know..." he (probably) answered.

We talked about it a little more, agreeing that it could be pretty hilarious to show up at the church Halloween dance like that. I was mostly thinking about how funny it would be to get my very masculine brother in a dress and makeup.

He agreed. I agreed.

The night of the dance arrived and Marc and I scoured his closet looking for something that would fit ~~over my~~ me right. His scout shirt was too tight, but he had a couple of sweatshirts that were perfect. I threw on a pair of jeans, and one of his Boy Scout caps. And since we, bizarrely, shared a shoe size, I wore a pair of his sneakers, too.

My costume was okay. It was passable enough as a costume, anyway. But I basically just looked like I'd shoved my hair up into a ball cap. Probably because that's exactly what I'd done.

Marc took a little more work, though.

I found a skirt that would stay up over his hipless figure, paired it with the girliest top in my closet, and some flats. I think we both knew heels would have just been creepy.

Digging my hands into my makeup bag, I gave my younger brother the works. Eye shadow, blush, lipstick. The mascara was tricky since he wouldn't quit blinking. His hair was short, so he agreed to wear the only hat I owned. One that I never even wore, but that had probably been purchased during a very fleeting Blossom phase.

(One that someone else assumed I was going through, because I certainly wasn't.)

We looked pretty good.

Well, he did. I looked like I had thrown together something quick just to be in a costume. But we were met with appreciative laughter, especially when I explained that we were dressed as each other.

Costumes just aren't as funny when you have to explain them.

Marc, though, was a hit. I don't know what it is about guys dressing in drag on Halloween that elicits such guffaws, but I think his willingness to do so surprised a lot of people that night. Especially our youth leaders. And probably the bishop.

(I wish I could show you a picture. I have one somewhere, but can't find it right now.)

(Which is probably just as well since Marc will probably be a little bit upset that I even blogged about it.)

The next year, as Halloween approached, an updated dress code was announced. Cross dressing was banned.

I like to think we had something to do with that.

But it was more likely the football players that dressed up as slutty cheerleaders. Maybe.

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That One Time When My Brother Laughed at Me For Being Afraid of a Disney Movie

2011-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with being scared.

I love the idea of it. But I hate when it actually happens.

But then I love after the fact when I realize there was nothing to be scared of after all. Except for those times when there WAS something to be scared of. I don't love those times so much. They're scary.

This love slash hate of being scared is most evident in my movie choices.

Sometimes, there is nothing better than curling up with a good, spooky movie. Until it scares the crap outta me and makes me want to cry. But then I have to keep watching because I just HAFTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

I'm telling you, The Movie Spoiler is my friend.

But The Movie Spoiler wasn't there for me that October night in 1984.

(Actually, I think it was more like January of '85, but it sounds better if it was in October.)

Christine Truett's slumber party wasn't my very first, but it was the first time that our movie selections included a Very Scary Movie instead of something tame like Heidi or Strawberry Shortcake of The Carebears.

Six of us crowded into Christine's living room in our sleeping bags, full of popcorn and every good and delicious treat. We turned out the lights and turned on the scariest movie of all time. At least it felt like the scariest movie of all time to our group of 7- and 8-year-olds.

We only managed to get about twenty minutes or so into it before we were too freaked out to continue. Creepy neighbors, spooky images showing up in mirrors, a creature in the woods. Not to mention the fact that I shared a name with one of the main characters.

This could totally happen to ME!

I pretended to be brave, but did not hide my relief when the other girls finally decided to turn the movie off and try again in the morning. It's so much easier to be brave in broad daylight. We managed to get through the rest of the movie over pancakes and scrambled eggs, but the nervous energy lingered.

Years later, I tried to remember the name of that scary movie, or even what it was about. No one knew and my on again, off again friendship with Christine was most decidedly off after her family and mine both eventually moved away from our happy cul-de-sac, so she wasn't around to ask either.

When I was in high school, another friend remembered the movie and told me the name, and as Halloween approached, my mom, my brother and I went on our weekly pilgrimage to Blockbuster to pick up a couple of videos for the weekend.

I suggested this Very Scary Movie, because I wanted to prove that it was, indeed, Very Scary, and that it was sure to provide all the pre-Halloween thrills that we were looking for. My mom and my brother agreed, and so I set out for the Horror section. It wasn't there. I looked again, my eyes running over every title, certain it had been misplaced.

When it was clear that the movie wasn't in the Horror section, I moved on to Thrillers, and then, in vain, checked the Dramas.

Wondering why Blockbuster wouldn't have this particular movie, I went to the information counter to ask them to check. Perhaps it was simply unavailable.

The young man at the desk jabbed at the keyboard and said, "A Watcher in the Woods? Yeah, that's over in Family Favorites."

My brother didn't stop laughing for a full five minutes.

We took it home and I was, indeed, still scared.

Until we got to that seriously jacked up ending. What was that about?!

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Project 52: Week 44--And a Desperate Cry for Help

2011-10-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

My friends, I have gathered you all together today to discuss a matter of Serious Business.

It's about Halloween.

Namely, it's about this whole dressing-up-in-a-costume thing.

I have two (or maybe three) Halloweenish type events this weekend and I gots nothing to wear.

I NEED HELP!

Please. I'm desperate. I need something that doesn't cost much money, because I really don't have any and even if I did I wouldn't really want to spend it on a Halloween costume because I would much rather be spending it on a really cute pair of boots.

So I'm looking for ideas of costumes I can just throw together, but that won't necessarily LOOK like it's been thrown together, or if it does, looks like it was meant to look that way.

Does that even make sense?

In other words, I need help.

Please help me. I really want to scratch this off my list next week instead of coming back and whining about how I didn't manage to accomplish ANOTHER goal...

But while you're brainstorming brilliant schemes for me, be sure to check out what Jennee has been up to this week. And also link up your own Project 52 updates down below. I'm going to go drown my sorrows in chocolate and see if I can find something to make out of the wrappers...

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Blog of the Week

2011-10-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

Since no one has really asked about it, I don't know if you have or haven't noticed.

I haven't selected a Blog of the Week in, well, weeks.

It's not because there aren't a heck of a lot of awesome blogs out there. So many awesome blogs.

And, honestly, it's not because I don't have the time either.

I don't really know why I haven't been keeping up with it. I'm also not calling it quits yet, either. Maybe next week there will be a new one. Or maybe next month. Or maybe I'll wait until the new year.

Who knows?

But I am in the process of putting together something that, I think, is going to be a lot of fun and will be a way to showcase a whole buncha blogs all at the same time. More on that next week. I'm excited about this and I hope you will be, too.

Before I go, though, I did have a Comment of the Week. One that really cracked me up:

Why people forget how to drive in the rain. Is it made of liquid stupid or something?

~Lisa on the post "Things I Don't Understand"

It's funny cuz it's true.

Have a great weekend, my friends! I'll see you next week for some big announcements AND Halloween fun!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Detour

2011-10-20T11:20:00.000-07:00

It was late and dark when I left my mom's house the other night, looking forward to sinking into my soft, warm bed.

My usual route home includes a long back-road, a quick jaunt on the 15 south, and then a stretch of westbound 91 freeway that is only truly passable late at night when the commuters have finished with their commuting.

Everything was normal. My car was running perfectly, George Noory was interviewing a ghost hunter about the Ben Lomond Hotel in Ogden, Utah, and the foggy mist had not yet settled enough to obscure driving. It was a perfect October night.

Except that it was a little late and I was tired.

It wasn't until I pulled into a right lane to merge onto the 91 that I saw the emblazoned message on the Amber Alert sign overhead. The message proclaiming that the exit ramps to the 91 were closed. It was much more than a minor inconvenience and I was immediately irritated at the Department of Transportation for the lack of warning.

I had two choices: turn around and head back the opposite direction to another freeway several miles north of where I needed to be; or get off the freeway, take surface streets, and reconnect with the westward bound 91 a little beyond the closure. The problem with the first option was that it could add another hour to my drive. The problem with the second was that I was wholly unfamiliar with the streets. Always in transit when I pass that part of town, I've never stopped to explore it.

As the choice was made for me and I was forced off at the next exit, I soon discovered why. There was nothing of consequence in this part of town. Nothing except some buildings that held no interest for me, a few dingy railroad tracks, and, further along, the tell tale signs that this was not a good place to linger after sunset.

And it was well beyond sunset.

My GPS was little help. It kept trying to redirect me to the closed down interchange. All I was left with was a feeling. A feeling telling me to keep going.

"Just a little farther," that tiny voice whispered.

I listened.

The road veered to the left and I traveled west for a mile or two, looking for anything that would indicate I was moving closer to the freeway. Finally, I came across a familiar street and turned, expecting to find an on ramp almost immediately.

It wasn't there.

"Keep going," the voice said.

I rounded a corner and found it. The entrance. My journey home could continue.

It wasn't until I was driving up the ramp that the traffic reporter came on to explain that there had been some kind of police shooting at the very interchange that I had needed. I suppose that was a good reason for the delay.

The road was clear, traffic was light, and it wasn't long before I crossed the line into Orange County and discovered a sign proclaiming that my ramp to the last stretch of freeway was also closed. I had no choice but to take the streets the rest of the way. Fortunately, I know those roads. I was three miles from home and in a less sketchy neighborhood.

But was still unhappy about yet another delay.

It was very late when I finally pulled into my complex, parked, and dragged my worn out self upstairs, collapsing onto the bed in a heap. I can't remember a time when that beautiful pillow top mattress has felt quite so welcoming.

And then I started thinking about all the detours in my life.

There was a time when my life was planned. Perhaps not all the details, but certainly the bullet points.

Most of it has not gone the way it was "supposed" to. Whether by my own choices or by outside forces, I have found myself on one unexpected detour after another. It's taken much longer to reach my destination than I ever dreamed it would.

My GPS isn't working. Sometimes the panic starts to rise a little.

But each time that starts to happen, that voice tells me to keep going. "Just a little farther."

It's not ideal. It's certainly not how I wanted it. At this point, I'm only counting on the hope that it will be worth it.

It has to be.

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Things I Don't Understand...

2011-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things I just don't get. Here are a few of them:

Why people are quitting their jobs to protest unemployment.
What's the point of spam? Does it actually help anyone sell anything?
Littering.
The popularity (notoriety?) of the Kardashians.
These shoes:

Why people keep calling each other Nazis without merit. Don't they realize the word will eventually lose its impact?
Labradoodles.
Why anyone would go to a restaurant with a "B" grade.
Tofurkey.
Why people who "hate drama" spend so much time stirring it up.
The need to remake classic movies when there are so many new ones waiting to be created.
Why Michele Bachmann is still running for President.
How the 49ers are suddenly having an amazing year?? (Not that I'm complaining!)
What is so hard to understand about "No same-day appointments."
Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks."

Anything I should add?

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